Yorkshire Soul

London, Norfolk

2012-01-30T10:49:00.000Z

According to American news, London has moved to the Fens.

Everything Is Fine

2012-01-20T10:56:00.003Z

█████████████ ███████████ ███ ████ ███ ████████. ███████████ ████ ████ . █████████████ ██████████ ██ █████████ ██████████ ██. ███████████ ██████ everything ███ █████ is ██ ████ fine ████ ███ █ ██████ trust █████ ███████ ███ your █████ ████ government.

Stained Glass

2012-01-20T10:51:00.001Z

Window detail at Christchurch, Ilkley

White Wells - New Year's Day 2012

2012-01-20T10:40:00.002Z

Mr Moosehead, Father-in-Law, YS

No matter how many times I do this, and it is 11 years in a row now, it never feels any warmer.

Racist Flaming Baby Skulls

2012-01-15T16:34:00.001Z

2012-01-14T07:58:00.000Z

"...the governor of the region had suffered a rush of blood to the head a month or so before: he'd launched a crackdown on corruption, annoyed someone in the interior ministry, and shortly afterwards had been found dead in the banya at the bottom of the garden. It was suicide, Steve explained, at least according tot he prosecutor's office and the local newspapers. The governor had shot himself in the head - twice." A D Miller, Snowdrops.

2012-01-14T07:54:00.000Z

"I said, didn't she mind that the people in charge seemed to spend half their time stealing ? Yes, she said, of course she minded, but there was no point putting new people in the Kremlin, because they'd just start the stealing all over again. At least the ones in there now were already rich, so they could afford to think about other things too sometimes." - A D Miller, Snowdrops.

Let Every Thing That Has Breath Praise The Lord

2012-01-13T15:46:00.001Z

Stained glass window at All Saints Church, Ilkley.

Ilkley Gig - Lady Maisery

2012-01-11T07:18:00.000Z

If anyone fancies a bit of folk music, the all girl trio Lady Maisery are playing at the Manor House in Ilkley on Friday 13th Jan. Lady Maisery released their debut album Weave and Spin last year and have been nominated for best debut at the Spiral Awards.

Get there early for a place in the mosh pit, also, I presume there is no bar at the Manor House ? Hip flasks of single malt at the ready then.

Pingu's THE THING

2012-01-10T10:05:00.000Z

Book Review : Miss Smilla's Feeling For Snow - Peter Hoeg 6*

2012-01-09T22:55:00.005Z

I have mostly really enjoyed Hoeg's creation Smilla Jasperson, the slow paced plot and the cultural meditations supplied by the character. I have also mostly been told by people who have read this novel just how utterly wonderful both it and the central character are, but I can only agree up to a point.

The plot unfolds unevenly, as real life does, sometimes the determined amateur sleuth makes headway, sometimes she is headed off. The mystery at the heart of the novel concerns the death of a boy who lives close to Smilla, a boy with a paralysing fear of heights who has apparently fallen from a rooftop while playing. Smilla, troubled by her young friend's death, sets out to get to the core of the mystery.

So far so good then, we have a nice detective story, a quirky, odd heroine akin to Lisbeth Salander and a plot that although it constantly unravels, does not let you see too far around the corner. Some of the story seems ever so slightly far fetched, as when Smilla signs on a ship as an unwanted and superfluous waitress. I did enjoy some of the tension provided by the contained universe of the ice breaking ship, but then something really strange happens.

Michael Crichton drops in and writes the last chapter, and the plot which has so far been fairly tense and gripping suddenly dissolves under the strain of having the quirky, offbeat detective genre suddenly morph into a bio-warfare sci-fi plot. The last few pages were frankly unbelievable and made a mockery of the preceding 400. This is a shame, as Miss Smilla has many good elements, Smilla herself is a fine creation, cynical, intelligent, not quite world weary and Hoeg sense of timing as he reveals some plot elements is masterful. The last chapter though is a juxtaposition too far, it is jarring and shocks the reader out of the imagined world of the story.

The Page Turner

2012-01-09T16:18:00.000Z

Remember This Girl ?

2012-01-08T19:34:00.001Z

Who is this smoking hot gothette ? Remember pretty little Amy Studt who had a hits with Just A Little Girl and Under Your Thumb ? Well this is her, all grown up and dangerously sexy looking. Amy's new project is called Mercy Made Me and will be releasing a single, Sleep Walker on the 23rd January 2012 under Cool For Cats Record label digital club - who appear to be so underground that I cannot even find a proper website for them.

I liked Amy's first album, and didn't know until now that she'd released a second one My Paper Made Men - which I'm looking around the web for now, not on i-tunes, not on e-music, not available on Amazon, hmm. Well let's hope that her third release actually goes on sale somewhere I can buy it.

The Arts Past & Present (AA100) - a brief introduction

2012-01-07T18:07:00.000Z

Exploring art and visual culture

2012-01-07T18:04:00.000Z

2012-01-06T18:04:00.000Z

"I have had the feeling of being crushed under a rock till I could only see one crack of light - and that was the love of God: the absolute certainty, when everything else had been taken from me, that God loved me." - Gerald Priestland, author and broadcaster, speaking about his faith and suffering a stroke, in his final R4 broadcast.

The Books I Enjoyed Most in 2011

2012-01-06T17:18:00.002Z

I was going to a best books of the year list, but since taking on the degree work and simultaneously trying to work through the 1001 list, I have read precious few novels in the year of their publication. Here instead then are the books that gave me the most reading pleasure last year.

One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest - Ken Kesey 10*

Quite wonderful, highly enjoyable, both laugh out loud funny and achingly sad, Kesey's best known novel is a near perfect work.

Address Unknown - Kressman Taylor 10*

A Jew betrayed by his German-American business partner sets about gaining a measure of justice, or revenge, in a cunning literary manner. Published on the eve of WWII, Taylor's novel was banned by the Nazi's.

Cover of The Burial at Thebes

The Burial At Thebes (Sophocles Antigone) - Seamus Heaney 10*

Long poem or short novel in the style of a poem ? Heaney's translation is flowing and exciting. He has a most special gift for language.

Appreciating Art - Diana Newell 10*
I bought this to help on my pre-degree course and what an excellent guide it is. Newell explains clearly, and with lavish illustrations and reproductions of famous art works, how Western Art and painting in particular has evolved from 1400 t the present day.

Attention All Shipping - Charlie Connelly 9*

Radio 4 and the Shipping Forecast are two small parts of what makes the British British. Connelly explores the physical areas of the Shipping forecast, encountering the people who live in or by them, and uncovering a trove of fascinating shipping and weather related lore.

Surface Detail - Iain M. Banks 9*

Hell is real if you believe in it, or rather if your culture wants or demands it. Banks has a serious look at one aspect of belief in amongst giant space ships with weird names, death and technological resurrection and a a world sized weapons factory that might threaten known space. Banks' Culture novels are still the cream of contemporary space sci-fi.

The God Of Small Things - Arundhati Roy 9*
Roy's complex weaving of the lives of a Indian family, told largely through the eyes of one of a pair of twins takes in diaspora, love, passion, the changing political landscape in India and has always at its heart a terrible tragedy that is hinted at in the earliest pages but only is only truly made clear as the novel draws to a close. Intelligent, passionately enthralling and brilliantly conceived, Roy shows deep understanding of all the many kinds of love.

City Of Thieves - David Benioff 9*

Cover via Amazon

Two men fall foul of the Communist authorities in besieged Stalingrad and are sent on a bizarre mission to find a dozen fresh eggs for a wedding cake. It sounds bizarre, but Benioff makes his idea work beautifully. Yes it is really about the horror of war and man's inhumanity to man, but there is scope for friendship and laughter amongst the bleakness of life in a city at war.

Under Fire : The Story Of A Squad - Henri Barbusse 9*
Translated from the French, this really is the horror of. Barbusse holds nothing back as he describes the living hell the French troops endured in the trenches of WWI, all based on his own experiences as a soldier.

Doctor Faustus - Christopher Marlowe 9*
Was Marlowe a better playwright than Shakespeare ? Faustus certainly shows him as a man with of inventive, acerbic wit and a sharp turn of phrase.

The Great God Pan - Arthur Machen 9*
Classic horror, pre-Lovecraft and very much of the same style that H P would later employ. Only really a novella, but well worth searching out. Stephen King says it is perhaps "the best horror story in the English Language."

Terra : Four Events That Changed The World - Richard Hamblyn 9*
Hamblyn takes us on a tour of almost apocalyptic natural disasters, always emphasising the human cost. The section on the Lisbon earthquake - which was followed by firestorm, aftershocks and tsunami - is particularly gripping and well written.

The following were also excellent...
Lord of the Rings Trilogy - J R R Tolkein 10*
Three Men In A Boat - Jerome K Jerome 9*
AA100 Reputations - Ed. Elaine Moohan 9*
Making Sense Of The Arts - OU Course Team 9*
The Time Machine - H G Wells 9*
Of Human Bondage - W Somerset Maugham 9*
Ilkley Revisited - Mike Dixon 9*
The Storyteller's Tale - Omair Ahmad 9*
VSI English Literature - Jonathan Bate 9*
A Month In The County - J L Carr 9*
A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens 9*
The Graveyard Book - Neil Gaiman 9*
Forgotten English - Jeffrey Kacirk 9*

The Canada Party - Election 2012

2012-01-06T09:38:00.000Z

2012-01-05T14:06:00.000Z

Wittenburg All Saints Church doors

"To think the papal pardons so great that they could absolve a man even if he had commited and impossible sin and violated the Mother of God - this is madness." Martin Luther, 95 Theses

The picture shows the doors where Luther is supposed to have nailed his 95 Theses.

2012-01-05T07:36:00.002Z

"Philip was a good listener; though he often thought of clever things to say, it was seldom till after the opportunity to say them had passed;" - W Somerset Maugham, Of Human Bondage.

Pugin's Rules of Architecture

2012-01-04T14:33:00.000Z

Image via Wikipedia

"The two great rules for design are these:

1st, that there should be no features about a building which are not necessary for convenience, construction, or propriety;

2nd, that all ornament should consist of enrichment of the essential construction of the building." - Augustus Welby Northmore Pugin (1812-52)

Book Review : Ulysses - James Joyce 2*

2012-01-04T10:13:00.000Z

Image via Wikipedia

I realise that Joyce's stream of consciousness work is endlessly inventive and clever, displaying a dazzling use of language and a lack of repetition which is quite incredible for a a book of its size and length. However, call me an old traditionalist if you will, but I would have sacrificed several hundred pages of bizarre literary ramblings for anything bearing a resemblance to a coherent narrative. Ulysses took me almost six weeks to read, in stages as I could not stand the though of grinding through more than a handful of pages each day.

David Punter, English Professor at Bristol University describes Ulysses as "one of the most extraordinary works of literature in English." Punter goes on to praise the manner in which Joyce performs "an exploration of the inner workings of the mind" and Joyce's replication of random thought processes. I can see all this, and I do admire it in a way as being original, groundbreaking and inflammatory. For myself though, none of these things made Ulysses into an interesting or compelling read.

The Protestant Church After The Reformation

2012-01-04T08:33:00.002Z

Library Raid

2012-01-03T15:09:00.000Z

Cover of Wolfwatching

A large haul as I'm expecting it to be rather quiet in the next few weeks....

Cathedrals in Britain and Ireland - William Anderson & Clive Hicks

The History of Christianity - Jonathan Hill

Wolfwatching - Ted Hughes

Churches and Cathedrals - Helen and Richard Leacroft

A Hundred Doors - Michael Longley

English Parish Churches - Edwin Smith, Olive Cook, Graham Hutton

Catholicism - Peter Stanford

A Practical View of Christianity - William Wilberforce

Sorry to anyone else in Ilkley wishing to study Christianity or church architecture, I think I grabbed the lot.

Education Ups and Downs and Ups

2012-01-03T15:01:00.000Z

St. Chad's Cathedral, designed by Pugin

I set off on AA100 - The Arts Past and Present like a rocket, getting a really great score for my first pair of essays on Plutarch's view of the relationship between Antony and Cleopatra, and comparing and contrasting the painting styles of Cezanne and Zurburan. The second essay should have scored more points, in theory, as it was a re-write of one of the first essays, I chose the Plutarch one. I mucked up on the bibliography and referencing though which cost me points and left me with a lower score then the original essay. A bit of a downer then.

In the run up to Christmas and New Year I was doing 80 hour weeks and so the little time I had for studying was fractured and at the wrong ends of the day. Getting your head into your course books after a 15 hour shift is never going to garner any great results.

I sat down yesterday morning to get to grips with my current pair of essays, comparing the reputation of Michael Faraday from two different sources, and comparing and examining two poems ostensibly about cats. An hour after starting I was almost sat with my head in my hands, my notes from the last month were hugely disorganised, written here and there on bits of paper with underscores and crossings out in abandon. This then was my lowest ebb for the course so far.

I had a quick flick around the Facebook groups, saw lots of other folk mentioning the same time problems and even worse, another course colleague had bitten the dust. Left. Quit. Dropped out.

Can't do that, I'm too Yorkshire. I've paid for this course out of my own pocket so I'm determined to wring value from it. A couple of hours yesterday and then a solid four hour stint today and I had dragged my copious but random notes into some sort of coherent form and produced two essays complete with references and bibliography.

That's me back in the groove then. I don't think these are the best essays I have done, I have a slight concern I haven't balanced the dual question in one quite enough, but they are done and with that I can press on with Pugin and the revival of Gothic architecture in English churches.

I have had a look to see what the next essay is, a choice between examining tradition and dissent in either the Roman Catholic church in England, or the music of Dmitri Shostakovich, and the word count is doubled to 1,200. I have not yet done the work on Shostakovich, but I'm taking an early decision and have been to the library to raid it for background material on Catholicism.

Now then, another hour or two studying before I cook dinner, I'm a happy little student again.

2012-01-03T08:33:00.000Z

Cover of Of Human Bondage

"Philip had an unfortunate trait: from shyness or from some atavistic inheritance of the cave-dweller, he always disliked people on first acquaintance; and it was not till he became used to them that he got over his first impression. It made him difficult of access. He received Hayward's advances very shyly, and when Hayward asked him one day to go for a walk he accepted only because he could not think of a civil excuse." - Of Human Bondage by W. Somerset Maugham.

Spooky Julie's Snuff Tape by Release The Bats

2012-01-03T07:58:00.000Z

N

NSFW in all sorts of ways.

Interactive Dot Art

2012-01-02T15:10:00.001Z

This is a rather wonderful art installation created by Yayoi Kusama for the Gallery of Modern Art in Brisbane. It is called the Obliteration Room and encourages the museum's younger visitors to decorate it at their whim.

The Obliteration Room on This Is Colossal

Last.fm Stats 2011 - Most Listened to Tracks

2012-01-02T08:02:00.000Z

John Lee Hooker

1 Professor Elemental – Fighting Trousers 39

1 Professor Elemental – Sweet Cold Coalition (feat. Miss Sadie Bell) 39

3 Professor Elemental – Animal Magic 38

4 Datsik – Swagga 37

4 Datsik – Firepower 37

6 Professor Elemental – CUP OF BROWN JOY (Tea Bag remix) 34

7 Professor Elemental – Splendid 33

7 Black Stone Cherry – Blame It On The Boom Boom 33

7 The Bronx Casket Co. – Antihero 33

Linton Kwesi Johnson

10 John Lee Hooker – Boom Boom 32

10 Professor Elemental – Fete Worse Than Death 32

12 Dessa – The Crow 31

12 WTF Vs Dead Pres – It's Bigger than Hip Hop Uk (Full Vocal Clean Mix) 31

14 Mumford & Sons – The Cave 28

14 Therapy? – Bad Excuse For Daylight 28

14 Stacie Collins – Cool 28

14 Professor Elemental – Elixir 28

18 Million Dollar Reload – International Anthem 27

18 Enter Shikari – The Jester 27

18 Dessa – Into the Spin 27

18 Professor Elemental – The Quest For The Golden Frog 27

18 Professor Elemental – Steam Powered (feat. Mr. Jon Clarke) 27

23 The Pierces – Secret 26

23 Million Dollar Reload – Livin' In The City 26

23 Florence + the Machine – Kiss With A Fist 26

23 Stacie Collins – Lend The Devil A Hand 26

23 Professor Elemental – Penny Dreadful 26

28 Bob Dylan – A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall 25

28 Madness – The Prince 25

28 Dessa – Matches to Paper Dolls 25

28 Stacie Collins – Little Things 25

28 Alex Vegas – Muslamic Ray Guns (The EDL Anthem) 25

33 Creedence Clearwater Revival – Bad Moon Rising 24

33 Million Dollar Reload – Goodnight New York 24

33 Unruly Child – Show Me The Money 24

33 Stacie Collins – Don't Doubt Me Now 24

33 Nick Jaina – The President of the Chess Club 24

38 The Clash – The Guns Of Brixton 23

38 Linton Kwesi Johnson – Inglan Is A Bitch 23

38 The Duckworth Lewis Method – Jiggery Pokery 23

38 Dessa – Alibi 23

38 Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends – Bully In The Alley 23

43 Led Zeppelin – The Battle of Evermore 22

43 The Pierces – Boring 22

43 Manu Chao – 13 Dias 22

43 Black Spiders – KISS Tried To Kill Me 22

43 Stacie Collins – Hey Mister 22

43 Stacie Collins – Tied To You 22

43 Datsik – Hydraulic 22

50 George Thorogood & The Destroyers – Bad To The Bone 21

My most listened to tracks were obviously doninated by the bands that appeared highest on the acts chart, plus a few acts from which I loved one or two songs but wasn't moved much by the rest of their output ; the dubstep artist Datsik and quirky folk musician Nick Jaina fell into this category.

Last.fm Stats 2011 - Most Listened To

2012-01-02T07:52:00.000Z

Black Stone Cherry

1 Black Stone Cherry 412

2 Professor Elemental 323

3 Christina Aguilera 322

3 BBC Radio 4 322

5 The Unthanks 318
6 Muse 315

Professor Elemental

6 Dessa 315

8 Stacie Collins 312

9 Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 308

10 Rancid 305

11 Coheed and Cambria 295

12 Megadeth 291

Stacie Collins

12 The Pierces 291

14 Metallica 283

15 The Wildhearts 278

16 The Beatles 269

17 Marillion 267

Nneka

18 Lily Allen 266

19 Status Quo 261

20 Mastodon 259

21 Magnum 257

22 Etran Finatawa 256

23 Manu Chao 255

23 Ace Frehley 255

25 Nneka 254

26 Madness 251

27 Marilyn Manson 245

28 Mumford & Sons 242

29 Therapy? 233

29 The Proclaimers 233

29 Million Dollar Reload 233

32 The Decemberists 232

33 Britney Spears 231

33 Antonín Dvořák 231

35 Igor Stravinsky 230

36 Georg Friedrich Händel 226

37 Lee "Scratch" Perry 224

38 Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends 222

39 Rachel Unthank & The Winterset 221

40 Antonio Vivaldi 215

40 Street Sweeper Social Club 215

42 The Rolling Stones 214

43 The Answer 212

44 Led Zeppelin 207

45 Electric Light Orchestra 204

45 Voodoo Six 204

47 Rush 203

48 Siouxsie and the Banshees 200

49 The Prodigy 197

49 Florence + the Machine 197

That's a reasonably eclectic year for me. Black Stone Cherry's Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea drove them to the top of my chart, and the endlessly hilarious Professor Elemental got his creator Paul Alborough second spot.

My top ten are well split between old favourites, Christina, Muse, The Unthanks, and listening that was new to me in 2011 like country rocker Stacie Collins, BSC, Professor Elemental's wonderful steampunk chap hop and Dessa's clever and articulate rap.

Further down my charts are well filled with lots of old favourites - try as I might to search out new and weird music I just can't help coming back to the likes of The Wildhearts, Metallica, Megadeth, Led Zeppelin, Madness or Siouxsie and the Banshees. New acts that push their way into my most listened of the year included Manu Chao's upbeat Freanch/Spanish/Basque folk pop, Nigeria's pop/rnb singer Nneka, Czech composer Antonín Dvořák and the rock bands Voodoo Six and Million Dollar Reload.

Roman Candle Batting Practice

2012-01-01T00:03:00.000Z

Parliament - Prime Order (Micro Mix)

2011-12-14T23:59:00.000Z

A Plague on Evangelical Vegetarians

2011-12-14T08:57:00.000Z

Image by robpurdie via Flickr

I appreciate that almost all of us have things we believe in, or traditions we have carried on for years, or political or social goals that we believe, deep down, if the rest of the world thought and did the same the same as us then the rest of the world would be a far better place. Personally, I would like to see a much broader appreciation of hard rock music, the introduction of Neal Gaiman's Sandman as a compulsory part of all English literature courses and the police to be allowed to arrest any adult caught wearing a tracksuit in public when the wearing of said clothing is not immediately related to a sporting event. But that's just me.

I know a lot of people get upset at people who have faith, they hate proselytizing. The very worst single belief people though are the ardent vegetarians and associated animal rights folk. Theirs is the one and only true path, they have achieved perfection and nirvana in their views and all others, meat eaters and leather weathers in particular, are unthinking souls lost in the limbo of uncaring and harmful ways. Yet, they can be saved, especially if you bang on about it for long enough.

My views on vegetarianism and its ultra orthodox relative veganism are the same as my views on religion. I am quite happy for you to hold whatever view you want, but once you have stated your view and someone else has stated they are not in agreement you should not persevere with explaining your viewpoint until the cows come home – of their own accord, only if they wish to spend the night in a barn, and not to be cruelly exploited for the purposes of extracting the precious gift that is mother’s milk.

Militant vegetarians always try to claim a moral high ground by continually pointing out the various cruelties involved in meat production. They do so though by always taking the most extreme examples they can find. Whilst engaged in a rather one sided ‘discussion’ recently I was repeatedly informed that if I would only watch a particular YouTube video showing chicken factory workers being cruel to their flock then I would never want to eat chicken again. This is false and fuzzy logic, I have in fact seen the footage in question and what I desire after seeing it is for nasty people to stop being unnecessarily cruel to chickens and using them as footballs. Not for a moment does this sort of thing turn me off from being a meat eater; a ‘lovely roast hen with Yorkshires and gravy’ is still on the menu for me.

If you wanted to show the health and farming benefits of being wholly or partly vegetarianism I would be much more willing to listen. I think the Meat Free Monday movement is quite a decent idea, there are lots of us who should perhaps eat less meat and less extensive and intensive animal rearing would be beneficial in parts of the world. Perhaps the idea could be extended into Fish Only Friday and Tofu Thursday, but only if people want to join in.

I dislike the way some vegetarians try to demonise meat eating, the whole Meat Is Murder moral high ground thinking is rubbish. People are not evil because they enjoy a bacon butty or Big Mac. They might not be particularly well educated about the meat they eat though, so there is always room for education.

People should be allowed to eat meat, meat is wonderful. Last night chef Rob and myself made some slow honey and chilli slow braised belly pork with crackling and it was truly wonderful. As some fundamentalist vegans would have it though, this was the act of two evil men; an innocent animal lost its life just to provide a family with a meal.

I will be quite honest here, and this is the bit that might upset some people. I hold that animals and people are two different things. Animals are not people, they do not have to be accorded the same rights and respect that I would grant to any human. However, I see no reason at all why any food animal should be put to any unnecessary suffering. Beasts farmed for food should live decent lives free from pain and suffering and the killing should be accomplished in the most humane manner possible.

Many of us should perhaps eat less meat, bought from less intensive farming styles. Yorkshire Dales lamb would be an example of a good choice due to its non-intensive farming methods, while artificially fattened beef is less good. Neither of these, nor hardly any other meat choice is evil. The moral high ground claimed by the militant vegetarians is not a high ground at all; they have taken a value judgement and made a decision based on their own moral standards, as I have done. Neither of us stands above the other in moral terms, it only looks that way from your narrow point of view.

School Photo

2011-12-14T08:03:00.001Z

A rather sweet short film about school photo day.

schoolportrait

Ham Bikini Bouncing Explosions Mayhem!

2011-12-14T07:55:00.000Z

Coca-Cola Wormhole (Vidvent Calendar Day 2)

2011-12-14T07:52:00.000Z

Baseball ?

2011-12-13T07:34:00.001Z

Tom Stoppard

"I don't think I can be expected to take seriously any game which takes less than three days to reach its conclusion" - Sir Tom Stoppard talking about baseball and cricket.

The One Show visits Ripon Cathedral

2011-12-12T08:14:00.000Z

Two Minute Zombie Movie

2011-12-08T21:38:00.001Z

Too Late from Side Films

Songs of Joyce - My Girl's a Yorkshire Girl

2011-12-08T08:04:00.000Z

My Girl's A Yorkshire Girl

2011-12-08T07:57:00.001Z

Image by jo-h via Flickr

Two young fellows were talking about
Their girls, girls, girls —
Sweethearts they'd left behind,
Sweethearts for whom they pined.
One said, "My little shy little lass
Has a waist so trim and small.
Gray are her eyes so bright,
But best, best of all...

"My girl's a Yorkshire girl —
Yorkshire through and through.
My girl's a Yorkshire girl,
Eh! by gum, she's a champion!
Though she's a factory lass
And wears no fancy clothes,
Still I've a sort of a Yorkshire relish
For my little Yorkshire Rose."

When the first finished singing the praise
Of Rose, Rose, Rose,
Poor number two looked vexed,
Saying in tones perplexed:
"My lass works in a factory too
And has also eyes of gray;
Her name is Rose as well,
And strange, strange to say...

"My girl's a Yorkshire girl —
Yorkshire through and through.
My girl's a Yorkshire girl,
Eh! by gum, she's a champion!
Though she's a factory lass
And wears no fancy clothes,
Still I've a sort of a Yorkshire relish
For my little Yorkshire Rose."

To a cottage in Yorkshire they hied
To Rose, Rose, Rose,
Meaning to make it clear
Which was the boy most dear.
Rose, their Rose, didn't answer the bell,
But her husband did instead.
Loudly he sang to them
As off, off they fled...

"My girl's a Yorkshire girl —
Yorkshire through and through
My girl's a Yorkshire girl,
Eh! by gum, she's a champion!
Though she's a factory lass
And wears no fancy clothes,
Still I've a sort of a Yorkshire relish
For my little Yorkshire rose.

For my little Yorkshire Rose." - Words and music by C.W. Murphy and Dan Lipton

Official Kiss Kiss Music Video - Popstar Trishii

2011-12-07T07:56:00.000Z

(Found by Shan)

The Blog Isn't Dead...

2011-12-07T07:32:00.001Z

Image via Wikipedia

...but it came close this time.

I know I've been rather non-existent on the blogging front for nearly a month, a busy period at work, uni work and then our annual holiday all got in the way. The holiday was wonderful, we spent two weeks in Florida and did all the touristy things including the Universal theme parks, Gatorland, watching the Mars mission being launched and, er, shooting a Glock handgun. Not at anybody you understand.

After Florida we spent a weekend at the UK's premier classic/hard rock festival, Hard Rock Hell, drank slightly too much, got a new tattoo and heard some great, and hugely loud, bands. Magnum, Black Stone Cherry, Therapy?, Michael Monroe, Voodoo Six, Quireboys, Wolfsbane, Kobra and the Lotus and a host of other bands made it a great weekend. We have booked our tickets for next year's festival already as they tend to sell out rather early.

I got some rather good news from The Open University yesterday, I passed my foundation module with flying colours and received a Distinction. I managed seven maximum scores from the eight marking points and a good score on the online multi-choice exam.

Now that I am a quarter of the way through the 60 point module AA100 The Arts Past and Present, I am very glad that I did the foundation module as nearly all the work we did on art, poetry and history is highly relevant to this course as well. My first essays on this course, on Plutarch's view of the relationship between Antony and Cleopatra, and a critical comparison of the styles of Cezanna and Zurbaran, were both marked as being only a fraction short of Distinction level so I am really pleased with that as well. The second essay, a re-write and reflective analysis of the Plutarch essay I handed in while on holiday. The next essays are on Michael Faraday, and a critical analysis of some poetry about cats, due in the first week of January 2012

Wagner - The Greatest Hoax

2011-12-07T07:29:00.001Z

W Somerset Maugham

"But Siegfried! When he mentioned it Professor Erlin leaned his head on his hand and bellowed with laughter. Not a melody in it from beginning to end! He could imagine Richard Wagner sitting in his box and laughing till his sides ached at the sight of all the people who were taking it seriously. It was the greatest hoax of the nineteenth century." - Of Human Bondage, W. Somerset Maugham.

Son Of The Groom Speech

2011-12-07T07:23:00.001Z

For those who were unable to be at Dad and Shirley's wedding...

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the wedding celebration of Jack and Shirley Jarvis.

I would like to thank you all for being here, especially those of you who knew I’d be saying a few words – it’s very touching that you’re still in the room.

When Father asked me to do this speech, he said he was looking for someone with right amount of decorum, the correct gravitas, somebody with a sense of propriety, a man who understood decency and decorum and whose style of formal ceremonial speech would complement and underline the occasion, however, he conceded his best friends were the likes of Graham Walker and Mike Exley so that was unlikely, and even if knew anybody else of that ilk he couldn’t afford their services and so as a back up would I do it for free.

No problem, as now as I have almost 15 years of the marriage experience, I thought I might be in the position to offer the happy couple some general advice.

As I said, I have now been married, oh hang on, Meg’s been editing my speech. I have now been HAPPILY married, what’s that dear ? Sorry, I have been VERY HAPPILY MARRIED for almost 15 years now.

Actually, this reminds me of a story, we were flying on holiday and the lady in seat next to Meg was admiring her ring.

“Yes” said “It’s the famous Jarvis diamond, but it comes with a terrible curse”

“Oh what’s that ?” asked the lady.

“Mr Jarvis” my wife replied.

Strange but on the same holiday I managed to get lost in the airport, realising I had gone missing Meg went to the assistance point and said she had lost her husband.

“What does he look like ?” said the assistant.

Meg replied “He’s about 6’6”, a body like a bronzed Adonis and the features of a young George Clooney.”

The lady pulled up a picture of me on the cctv and said was this her husband.

“Yes” said Meg.

“But” said the lady, “this man is 5’4” with a pot belly, a frankly ridiculous beard and looks like Lemmy from Motorhead.”

“I know” said Meg, “but who wants him back “

I asked my good friend Phil Baxendale if he had any experiences he could pass on as a married man and he told me this story of his own wedding. Apparently Michelle was very nervous on their wedding day and afraid she might get something wrong at church. Phil said “It’s very simple dear, just remember that first comes the aisle, because that’s what we’ll be walking down down, second comes the altar, because that’s where we’ll be standing, and finally comes the hymn, because that’s what we’ll be singing.”

And how did that work ? I asked Phil.

Not so good he replied, when we got to the front of the church all I could hear was Michelle muttering Aisle – alter – him , aisle – alter – him.

Now, a recent holiday survey showed that the items that appeared most often in the luggage of young newlyweds were

an industrial sized tub of KY jelly

a rampant rabbit personal pleasure device and

a kinky nurses costume

Whilst the items that appeared most often in the luggage of older newlyweds were

an industrial sized tub of Deep Heat

a Johnson & Johnson personal support truss and

a nurses outfit, complete with heart monitor and defibrillation machine

some older couples also took along a dirty movie, not so much to get them in the mood as to remind them what they were supposed to be doing.

This does remind me of the wedding day of my Great Great Grandfather Wilfred, at the wedding breakfast his rather elderly bride turned to him and said

“Tonight I’m going to give you super sex”

Great Great Grandfather thought for a moment and then replied “I think I’ll have the soup.”

Ok, this has been a load of daftness, but to conclude I would like to recall the final words of my Great Great Grandfather Wilf. I was a young boy, and the family were all gathered around Wilf’s hospital bed, he lay there with his oxygen mask on, and he began struggling for breath and indicated with his hands that he would like a paper and pen. With these he scribbled a few words which he passed to me, and then the poor old soul expired.

Dad turned to me with a tear in his eye and said, what did he say Mike.

I look down at the paper and solemnly read out to the assembled family.

It says “You’re standing on my oxygen tube.”

Now, to be properly serious, I would like to take this opportunity to formally welcome Shirley into the Jarvis clan, and I’m very sorry but we don’t get any more serious than this.

And now ladies and gentleman, if you would charge your glasses, I would like to propose a toast, to the much loved and respected patriarch of the Jarvis clan, and to the equally much loved and respected most recent addition to our family, Jack and Shirley Jarvis…

Book Review : Swiss Family Robinson - Johann David Wyss 2*

2011-11-15T13:02:00.001Z

I was hoping that this would be more in the Crusoe vein, but it isn't, it's tripe.

The Robinson family get shipwrecked on a bountiful coast containing a menagerie of wildlife from various continents, all of whom appear overly eager to hurl themselves on the family's hunting spears whenever they get peckish. Indeed, the life at the shipwreck point is so rich and varied that they hardly seem to eat the same meal twice.

Within a year the family have established a system of irrigated farms, have built a number of homes, have domesticated half the animal population of the area and then bump into the natives - read; savages - of the area who have not managed to do any of these things. The author though understands full well why the locals have not reached shipwrecked Europeans standards of living, it is obviously because as they are black / savages / natives / brown skinned, they are obviously uneducated.

I disliked this book all the way through, every mild problem the family encounter is solved with overwhelming efficiency, almost nothing appeared believable. If you want a decent historical shipwreck story go for Crusoe.

Let em Come - Scroobius Pip,Sage Francis&P.O.S

2011-11-11T16:53:00.000Z

The Struggle - Scroobius Pip

2011-11-11T16:48:00.000Z

Massive Fireworks Experiment

2011-11-10T17:26:00.000Z

Babes Of Eve - Oceanne Askull

2011-11-05T22:11:00.002Z

Babes Of Eve - Orlanui

2011-11-01T08:19:00.000Z

"Look, it's a long flight of many warps from Dresi to Attyn, what else have I got to do but stalk other pilots ?" - China Flex

Babes Of Eve

2011-11-01T08:15:00.002Z

ZZ01shagsme here has a bit of a Natalie Portman in Star Wars look about her, but I do hope that Shagsme's gaming skills are better than Miss Portman's acting.

Eve Rules Of Combat

2011-11-01T07:29:00.000Z

1. If the enemy is in range, so are you.

2. The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions:

· when you're ready for them.

· when you're not ready for them.

3. Teamwork is essential, it gives them someone else to shoot at.

4. If your attack is going well, you have walked into a trap.

Carl Sagan - Pale Blue Dot

2011-10-31T09:45:00.000Z

Religion vs. Spirituality

2011-10-31T08:07:00.000Z

Image via Wikipedia"Actually, I believe there is an important distinction to be made between religion and spirituality. Religion I take to be concerned with faith in the claims of salvation of one faith tradition or another, an aspect of which is acceptance of some form of metaphysical or supernatural reality, including perhaps an idea of heaven or nirvana. Connected with this are religious teachings or dogma, ritual, prayer and so on. Spirituality I take to be concerned with those qualities of the human spirit - such as love and compassion, patience, tolerance, forgiveness, contentment, a sense of responsibility, a sense of harmony - which bring happiness both to self and others. While ritual and prayer, along with questions of nirvana and salvation, are directly connected to religious faith, these inner qualities need not be, however."

- the Dalai Lama, Ethics for the New Millenium, Riverhead Books, 1999, p22, quoted in Clive Erricker, Teach Yourself Buddhism, Hodder Education, London, 2008.

Pretty As A Picture ?

2011-10-28T16:28:00.002+01:00

4 Wise Men

2011-10-28T16:20:00.000+01:00

Closed Market Stalls Amsterdam

2011-10-28T16:16:00.000+01:00

Sea View From Dunstanburgh Castle

2011-10-28T16:10:00.000+01:00

Alnmouth Beach

2011-10-28T16:04:00.000+01:00

This was back in August. Meg took me on a day trip to show me some of the places that her parents used to take her as a child. Alnmouth beach is lovely, hard flat sand and lots of interesting rock pools, and a golf course on which you almost tee off from the sand.

Ellie At The Yorkshire Sculpture Park

2011-10-28T15:57:00.003+01:00

Exposed: Media fabricated 'empty tents' story at OccupyLSX

2011-10-28T14:38:00.000+01:00

The Rudeness Of Atheists

2011-10-26T08:28:00.001+01:00

Pope Benedictus XVI

I became involved in a discussion last week on my Christian beliefs, and as at many times before when I have stated my belief in God, I was immediately verbally attacked and in quite rude terms. I find this quite a lot, there seem to be quite a lot of people who cannot feel secure in their own atheism without being quite astonishingly abusive and deliberately attacking my faith.

I do consider myself a Christian, I believe in God and Jesus, I am not a fervent follower and won't be proselytizing in order to try and convince you to accept my set of beliefs. I really don't mind if you are Christian, Muslim, Jewish, atheist, agnostic, a white witch or actively bow down and worship Accrington Stanley FC. I do find though that a fair number of people who profess to be atheist have to attack you for not sharing their life view.

The discussion was one of those rambling after dinner chats when one of the diners said to me "You believe in God don't you ?", I replied that I did. The follow up comment is sadly fairly typical "I find it hard to believe that any so called intelligent person can believe in religion." My response to this rather rude outburst was to say that there are many far more intelligent people than me who also believe in God, but the attack had to carry on and try to poke holes in my belief and to 'prove' that I was foolish for so believing.

If this situation was turned around and I was fairly rude to people on other topics, for example let's say I verbally attacked fellow diners for having children, thereby increasing the already almost insupportable world population, draining our resources faster, damaging the ecosystem and bringing the world perilously close to an ecological tipping point. If I said this, and added that I was astonished that any so called intelligent person could have children, I feel fairly sure that people would be rather offended and the likelihood of me being invited round for dinner again would be somewhat diminished. In modern British society though it has become acceptable to attack religion, in almost any terms you wish to employ, and for that to be accepted as a reasonable way to behave.

Why are some atheists so intolerant ? What is it about what I do and believe that angers them so much. I go to church once in a blue flood, I pray more often when I'm out in the countryside hiking or running, there is something in the beauty of nature that calls to my faith. I have been reading the Bible, and I am interested in learning more about religion, not just my own, what is there in this simple set of actions that so angers some non-believers ? I really cannot see that I am doing anything that should bother anyone or cause any sort of offence.

Jonathan Sacks

On his visit to the UK last the Pope warned of the threat of the "more aggressive forms of secularism" that he perceived in British society. Lord Sacks, the Chief Rabbi, warned in July this year of the growing, and state sponsored, religious intolerance in the UK. In Wakefield a housing worker of 15 years good standing was sacked for displaying a palm cross on his van, what sort of intolerant buffoon is offended because the electrician who comes to fix his faulty fuse box wears a cross, a star of David, a turban or nips out for a prayer break instead of a tea break ?

I would like to reiterate that if you are an atheist, I am quite happy with that, I don't see the need to bother you about it. I don't profess to have all the answers to life and the universe, I cannot explain to you the mysteries of cancer, Alzheimer's or any other illness you bring up in the "If this disease exists then there can be no God" argument, I am not a professor of theology. I'm just a cook who also happens to believe in God, why does that offend you so ?

People Listen To This For Pleasure ?!

2011-10-25T08:30:00.000+01:00

My kitchen normally chugs along to the noise of angry sounding young people bellowing over a crescendo of wailing guitars and pounding drum rhythms, yesterday though as I pressed on to the next part of my humanities course, the fat lady sang.

Cover of Giuseppe VerdiTo be more accurate, she wasn't fat at all, I was just repeating an overly used jibe about opera, but like many people, I suspect that quote and a vague image of large men in tight fitting costumes is about my sum knowledge of opera. Yesterday I was introduced to Verdi, Puccini, Rossini, Donizetti and Luzzaschi, and I must admit, it was not an easy introduction.

I have no problem with listening to songs in another language, alongside the excellent German singing Rammstein I have a fair few bands whose singing language is either not English, or in some of the more extreme metal bands, possibly not human.

There is a quality to this operatic singing though that sends a shiver right through me, and not in a good way. To be even more precise, I can get along with the male singers, but the high pitched warbling effect favoured by the female vocalists is jarring and unpleasent to my ears.

So far on the course I have gained knowledge of a good many art forms and historical figures about whom I previously knew very little, and the more I learn the more I seem to appreciate them, with the exception of Stalin, who was a git. I have not come across anything so far though that has been so hateful at first contact and that has left me with the feeling that if I never encounter it again, I will be the happier for it.

Opera is regarded by many as being difficult and elitist, an art form reserved for, and appreciated by a narrow band of the upper classes. As with many things regarded as being elitist, half the case is that access to opera, as with many things considered somewhat exclusive, is actually quite easy, anyone can download, cheaply or for free, a reasonable selection of music, and if you have the money you can buy a ticket for a gig. What seems to be harder to come by though is an appreciation for the art form. I am listening to (I think) Maria Callas warbling her way though a bit of Verdi's La Traviata, and to be perfectly honest, I just wish she'd stop.

Oh well, I will just have to apply our old Scout motto, POR - Press On Regardless.

Stalin's Giving Me A Hard Time

2011-10-23T08:31:00.000+01:00

Well it was bound to happen sooner or later, I have reached a part of the degree course that I did not find easy. I dare say as I add modules and move on to stage 2 and 3 work I'm going to find quite a lot of the work quite hard, but until the Stalin chapter yesterday everything seemed to be going quite well.

Krushchev and Stalin

Our task in the Stalin chapter of Reputations is to examine the myth of Stalin, both the story he built up about himself, and then the counter-myth spun by Krushchev, this is done by examining the conclusions of different historians. This is a very different way to learn history than I am used to, this isn't at all the rote learning of dates and events I can remember from school, along with the very definite 'this is what happened' approach. The methods we are being trained to use to examine history is much more 'so X occured, but the reason might be Y according to Smith, or Z according to Jones', and then it's up to us to sort it out.

I have managed to complete the Stalin chapter, and did all the exercises within, but it was tough going, and when I read the suggested answers for each question, I had not made half so many connections and conclusions as I had been doing in the earlier parts of the course.

There isn't an essay to do on Stalin, for which I am quite grateful. My Cleopatra essay is almost completed, just the bibliography to do, and I have my Cezanne vs. Zurburan essay in rough form ready to copy up. Looking to the next chapter of the course, it's music, focusing on the diva, and taking in Maria Callas, Madonna, Puccini and Luzzaschi, who as far as I am aware at the moment, plays inside left for AC Milan.

Wagner, Dead As Mutton

2011-10-18T07:02:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

"I tell you young people that before the nineteenth century is out Wagner will be as dead as mutton. Wagner! I would give all his works for one opera by Donizetti."

ICC Dinner & Wine Night

2011-10-16T22:24:00.000+01:00

Image via WikipediaThe food cooked by Dave, Richard, Owen & Callum, Maitre D'd by Liz, and served by Ellie and Rae of this parish, was wonderful. Seriously folks, hats off to you, I think you did a quite remarkable job cooking a five course meal for 50 people from what is really just a standard home, non-commercial, kitchen, I was most impressed.

The ICC wine nights are a fund raising event for the cricket club, always popular and very well supported, where a team of very hard working volunteers cook and serve the food, and a selection of 'wine experts' select and present a wine to go with each course. I got to choose the dessert wine (with a fabulous budget of £6 a bottle), and my presentation ran like this....

"Ladies and Gentlemen, there is a wine, the grapes for which are grown only in a single, near inaccessible valley in the Nava De Roda hills of the Ribero Del Duoro wine region in Southern Spain.

Lavish care and attention is spent on the grape vines, grape tenders camp out in the valley ensuring that each vine receives exactly the amount of water it needs and keeping the vines clear of pests. The grape tenders have to be somewhat accomplished at a musical instrument, for wine grower Jesus Montilla is convinced that the grapes grow riper with music, preferring light classical music in the growing season, and a little flamenco as the grapes ripen.

The Moscatel grapes are only picked at night, during the first frosts of Autumn, and only after being blessed by the bishop of Valencia. They are then transported in padded baskets on the backs of mules, at the winery each grape is inspected for ripeness and any that do not pass Jesus Montilla’s exacting requirements are rejected.

The grapes are then gently trod beneath the feet of young girls, filtered, and barrelled for two years before being bottled. The resulting wine is said to taste somewhere between sexual ecstasy and religious revelation, and this, ladies and gentlemen, is not that wine.

However, there is another wine, grown in vast quantities on the plains of Valencia, where the grapes are watered by the urine of passing goats who are herded by the infamous winemaker Pablo Ossario. They say that if you are downwind of Pablo that on a breezy day you can smell his BO in Madrid, on a bad day in Portugal. Pablo seasons his goat piss tinted grapes by spitting regularly and heartily into the fermenting vat, and because Pablo can’t be bothered waiting for the grapes to really ripen he sweetens the resulting wine with antifreeze (which is only rumoured to cause cancer in lab rats). This pale green, sometimes lumpy and frankly repellent vintage is bottled in stolen Marks & Spencer bottles and shipped to the UK to be aimed at the slapper & chav Lambrini girls market.

This ladies and gentlemen, is that wine, cheers."

Greetings From Amsterdam

2011-10-10T21:45:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia We're here just having a quick four day break, my first consecutive days off since April I think. The flight was fine, we had to take a bus from Schipol to catch a train from another station to get into Amsterdam, but that was fine. There was an arse in suit playing hell with the ticket guy and demanding to know why they hadn't informed people in advance of the change of plans, but really, what's he supposed to do, phone everyone in Europe and say "Hey, if you're coming to Amsterdam on Sunday there are some engineering works on the lone so you'll have to catch a bus and that will hold you up by 20 minutes." The thing is, sometimes people in suits are dicks.

Amsterdam on arrival was much like Ilkley, mostly raining. We had arrived later than decent restaurants open on a Sunday and ended up in a burger place where one half of the customers looked like drug dealers and the other half appeared to be the end of week get together of the Amsterdam National Front. There's something about groups of skinheads that always makes me mildly nervous.

This morning though the city showed itself in a better light. After sleeping in until 8.30am, and there's a rare treat in itself, we had breakfast at the hotel and then set off on a bus tour of the city. Meg fancied looking round a diamond workshop and so we looked at the beautiful, glittering and expensive things for a while, and then she said she could stand being bored for a bit and allowed me to drag her around the Rijksmuseum.

I was rather impressed with the collection of Dutch masters and the demonstration the art provided of what an impressive trade and military power the Dutch Republic was. The museum is having a refit for the next couple of years and the display space has been vastly cut down, but the art on display is a visually stunning Dutch greatest hits parade, including the almost overpowering and vast 'Night Watch.'

After a quick lunch we took a canal cruise around more of the city, including the river and a cruise past the vast river cruise ships and the old sailing ships, the we had a walk around the fringes of the red light district and Chinatown. Dinner was a huge pile of noodles and Peking duck, then a few pints of Heineken back at the hotel.

Tomorrow ? We haven't quite decided yet, but the floating flower market and Anne Frank's house are possibles.

2011-10-06T14:14:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia'A chili-pepper,
give it wings,
a red dragonfly' - Basho

'Pull of the wings of a red dragonfly,
a chili-pepper' - Kikakou

Pic - Basho by Hokusai

Diary Of A University Student Aged 44

2011-10-02T23:43:00.002+01:00

For better or for worse then, introductory course Y-180 is a wrap. I have submitted my assessment essay on Chris Ofili's mixed media painting Afrodizzia, I have done the multi-choice online exam and that is it, the course is complete. All I have to do now is sit back and wait for the result and hopefully 15 points of the 360 I require to get a degree.

Except...I'm not sitting back and waiting because I signed up for a 60 point module, AA 100 - The Arts Past And Present, and as the Openings module ended, the new one began.

On Saturday I became a proper student as along with a largish crowd of fellow Open University students I attended our induction day event in the Rose Bowl at Leeds Metropolitan University. A number of the Yorkshire (Region 7) students had contacted each other via Facebook, and so wet met up, slightly nervously, at Leeds Station before trooping off en masse to an actual brick Uni.

I know the first course was proper study, but this course feels more real after meeting fellow students face to face as well as getting to meet our course tutor. Now, the Open Uni has rules about talking about tutors but I think it's alright if I say that our tutor seems decidedly forthright, blunt even, but in a very honest and helpful way. I think he has left us in no doubt of what we need to do to pass this module, what we need to do to pass this module with flying colours, and what sort of things we should avoid to avoid looking like complete muppets - handing in 5,000 word count essays when the question asked for 500 for example.

I had a flutter of unease during the tutor introduction session, but not to do with this course, it was just that as the tutor explained why we must remove the 'I' from our essays I was thinking back to what I had written in my essay on Afrodizzia and wondering whether there might be a bit too much of myself in it.

Now, I know that some of my fellow students may well read this as my blog posts to Facebook, and I do want to panic anybody who might be struggling with the coursework, but...I was a bit worried when I took on this degree work that it might be too challenging for me, that I might struggle with the work and fall behind. The opposite seems to ring true, well, its either that or I'm failing to understand the work. I know that I have not quite nailed the art of the academic essay style yet, partly because I am far too used to writing in a chatty and informal style, but that will come with a bit more practise. My first tutor also kept giving me a great bit advice - get in close to the subject. I realise that I have a tendency to stand back a bit and look at the topic in overview, to try and drag in extra information and expand on the question asked. Practise should make better here if not perfect, read the question very carefully, and then, very carefully, answer the question that was asked.

I love all the work. Our tutor said we can't possibly enjoy everything, but so far I have, the 1st World War Poetry was moving and powerful, Chartist history opened up for me a part of history I knew nothing about but was glad to learn, and the art, oh wow, the art is fantastic.

When I started this, I was pretty sure that a degree in English Literature was the one for me, after all, I read loads of books so it should only follow that my main strength and interest would lie in literature right ? I still love Eng Lit, but some of the art sets me ablaze. Before learning about techniques, meaning, and especially context, I was content to look at art and judge it on whether I liked it or not, which is at the base level what everyone does. When I can learn about the back stories to, and history of people like Picasso and Cezanne though it makes their paintings come alive for me, I can identify with what they saw and what they were trying to achieve, why they painted in the way they did.

Eyes down then, time to both study and enjoy it, our first theme is reputations and the people we are studying are a fantastically diverse group, Cleopatra, Christopher Marlowe, Paul Cezanne, Michael Faraday, Joseph Stalin, Madonna (the pop singer), Maria Callas and the Dalai Lama. It's all great, I'm sure I will hit a point when the work becomes a struggle, when my comprehension leads me astray and I need to phone my tutor and say "Help", but for now, I love the work, I love the way the OU and the modules work, everything is wonderful.

Did The Enlightenment Fail ?

2011-09-30T07:32:00.001+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

Jurgen Habermas

"Enlightenment thinkers still had the extravagant expectation that the arts and sciences would promote not only the control of natural forces, but would also further understanding of the world and of the self, would promote moral progress, the justice of institutions, and even the happiness of human beings. The 20th Century has shattered this optimism...Should we try to hold on to the intentions of the Enlightenment, feeble as they may be, or should we declare the entire project of modernity as a lost cause ?" - Jurgen Habermas, "Modernity versus Postmodernity" in New Left Critique, 22 (Winter 1981)

Is This Land The Nurse That Bred Thy Soul ?

2011-09-29T07:09:00.001+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

"Declare with speed what spot you claim by birth. Or with this club fall stricken to the earth! This club hath ofttimes slaughtered haughty kings! Why mumble unintelligible things? What land, what tribe produced that shaking head? Declare it! On my journey when I sped Far to the Kingdom of the triple King, And from the Main Hesperian did bring The goodly cattle to the Argive town, There I beheld a mountain looking down Upon two rivers: this the Sun espies Right opposite each day he doth arise. Hence, mighty Rhone, thy rapid torrents flow, And Arar, much in doubt which way to go, Ripples along the banks with shallow roll. Say, is this land the nurse that bred thy soul?" - from Apocolocyntosis by Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Suspect A Stroke ? Act FAST

2011-09-28T07:47:00.000+01:00

Suspect a stroke? Act FAST

What is FAST?

FAST requires an assessment of three specific symptoms of stroke.

Facial weakness - can the person smile? Has their mouth or eye drooped?

Arm weakness - can the person raise both arms?

Speech problems - can the person speak clearly and understand what you say?

Time to call 999

2011-09-28T07:40:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

Then Hercules said, "You just listen to me, and stop playing the fool. You have come to the place where the mice nibble iron." Apocolocyntosis, Lucius Annaeus Seneca.

Pic - Sculpture of Lucius Annaeus Seneca by Puerto De Almodovar in Cordoba.

Cezanne vs. Zurbaran

2011-09-28T07:33:00.000+01:00

Cezanne's Jug and fruit

vs.

Zurbaran's Still life with Lemons, Oranges and a Rose

Fight !

Book Review - The Underdogs : Mariano Azuela 6*

2011-09-27T06:56:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia Written about events during the Mexican Revolution, this tale follows the exploits of a group of villagers who band together under their local leader Demetrio Macias. The men seemed to have joined the Revolution not out of ideals, but because a side has to be picked, and a poor working man has to be anti-Federal.

Demetrio leads through force of action, but when a Federal deserter, Luis Cervantes, arrives with his city education and, initially at least, his strong sense of ideals for the Revolution, the group find they have a spokesman who can express why they are fighting.

As the war grinds on, Demetrio's band experience some success, but along the way they become corrupted by greed and revenge. Petty killings occur on the flimsiest of pretexts, and robbery and looting become the order of the day. Eventually they come to be feared and hated by the peasentry in turn as the federal soldiers who burn Demetrio's home were hated by them. Cervantes uses the power of his speech to set Demetrio up as a great general, with Cervantes rising in power at his side. The city man though can see which way the wind blows, and as the Revolution begins to turn on those people it was meant to serve, he flees the fighting with his war loot and sets himself up in business.

When the gang eventually return home they can find no peace. Demetrio is asked why he keeps on fighting, but after two years the fighting has come to define his life and he can see no other purpose for it.

The Underdogs chronicles the failures of the Mexican Revolution as it turns on the very people it was meant to serve. In its unflinching treatment of the main characters and Azuela's depiction of men changed by war and greed, it paints a picture which has become more familiar to us in more recent war books and films, particularly those concerning the American involvement in Vietnam.

An interesting read that introduced to me a period of history I knew nothing about, but which makes clear the eternal pointlessness and brutalising nature of war.

Poetry In Action

2011-09-25T14:37:00.000+01:00

2011-09-24T06:53:00.001+01:00

I was having a row with my wife over who was boss of the house, so I told her "From now on you will cook my dinner when I want it, you will iron my clothes without complaint, you will do the shopping and remember to ring me beer, and tonight I am going out to dinner with my friends and do you know who will be tying my shoelaces and straightening my tie ?"

She looked me squarely in the eye and said, "Yes, the undertaker."

2011-09-23T07:39:00.001+01:00

Image via Wikipedia"I would have given the world to take back what I had said; but a word once spoken, who can recapture it?" - Kidnapped, Robert Louis Stevenson

I Have Returned

2011-09-23T07:20:00.000+01:00

Image by Rob J Brooks via FlickrThe blog isn't dead, yet. The past two weeks have been exceptionally busy here at Ilkley Golf Club with the Autumn Senior's Open, Ladies Invitation Day, Yorkshire Golf Guide Qualifying Event, Clitheroe Ladies Exchange and a host of visiting club and golf societies to look after.

The whole team have done a wonderful job, but as the season draws to a close there have been some changes on the staff front. The summer uni student brigade have gone back to their palaces of learning, so it is goodbye for now to Rob C, Calum and Izzie. Little ray of kitchen sunshine Hannah is moving on to become a shop assistant, bye Hannah, it has been fun working with you. Staying on with chef Rob W and myself we have Fred (although he wants to work away in the ski season over the winter), Laura, Rachel and Ellie. We had a bit of a false start with new girl Brook, although we will welcome her back if her circumstances change, so our latest addition to the team is Maddy.

I like this time of year, the brutal long shifts and work patterns are almost behind me, the nights are drawing in so we can get to close earlier on evenings when there are no bookings, and it is very nearly holiday time.

We bought some flights at a fund raising event for Ilkley Rugby Club (and I'm still waiting for an invite to look around the place !), so we are having a few nights in Amsterdam in October. For our big holiday this year we pondered over going to California and doing a long distance driving holiday, but then we changed our minds and decided on Florida and a single base holiday. So we will be going to some of the big fun parks, Harry Potter at Universal's Islands of Adventure, Seaworld, and then a few lazy days at the nice villa we are renting.

Image via WikipediaWe arrive back from the USA just in time to get to Hard Rock Hell V for a fairly raucous weekend featuring Girlschool, Magnum, Black Stone Cherry, Therapy ?, Ginger Wildheart, Lizzy Borden, Ace Frehley, Michael Monroe and a host of other bands.

On Christmas Day, the one day of the year when the club is closed, I will of course be cooking for the family, and no doubt the twins Alice and Jack will be the stars of the day, adored and pampered by everyone. I will try to get up to Ripon Cathedral to watch Joe singing, and a big hug from Ellie, plus some chin pie for Ellie, are compulsory.

Who knows, with the nights drawing in, I might even do things that normal folk do, like having nights off and going to the pub, see you in Bar'Tat, mine's a bitter.

Do Our Colleges Fail Their Students ?

2011-09-18T12:18:00.000+01:00

Image by RobW_ via Flickr"There are more college students studying performing arts than there are people employed in the entertainment industry as a whole, this includes ticket sellers, cinema cashiers and lap dancers"

"There are ten times more people studying hairdressing than there are jobs in the hairdressing industry."

Educating Cinderella, BBC Radio 4

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2011-09-17T14:28:00.000+01:00

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2011-09-15T16:28:00.000+01:00

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2011-09-08T17:22:00.001+01:00

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2011-09-08T17:19:00.001+01:00

Album Review : Peace Sells Remastered - Megadeth 8*

2011-09-08T07:57:00.000+01:00

Image via WikipediaI have made a mistake here, I realised that my vinyl copy of Peace Sells is no longer worth playing, my CD copy has vanished so I thought I would buy a download, and got seduced into buying this remastered version of Megadeth's classic second album.

I only own a handful of remastered albums, and to be honest, they are nearly all worse than the original releases. Marillion's updated Fugazi sounds like the drums were recorded in a telephone box, and on this effort Dave Mustaine has looked back on Peace Sells...But Who's Buying ? and thought to himself that he could make a better job of it, he was wrong.

The thing is, Peace Sells for Megadeth was pretty much a perfect album, it was full of rage and anger and fantastic guitar and drum work, it sounded raw and dangerous and brash and exciting. I think part of the problem with this re-mix is Dave's still not quite resolved problem with being fired from Metallica. In March 1986 Metallica released their finest album, the one that cemented their growing reputation and established both the band and thrash metal firmly at the forefront of popular metal, Master Of Puppets set a template for other bands to follow if they could. MoP was massive, huge rhythm sections complemented great song writing and the polished, incredibly well rehearsed sound Metallica had achieved pulled their own style of thrash away from its hardcore roots.

In November 1986 Peace Sells was released, and it was a different sort of album. Megedeth sounded like they walked into the studio drunk and angry, then they pounded out a few tracks in a fit of barely controlled rage. It was that feeling that at any moment Megadeth might go completely out of control that I loved about the band and this album, they always pushed to the very edge of their technical ability. This wasn't Metallica with their endless practise and overdubbing, most of the solos on PS sounds like Dave and Chris Poland just picked up their guitars, let rip at each other and then shouted "Fucking A!" when they'd finished. At any moment on Peace Sells you thought that Mustaine might throw down his guitar, snort a giant line of coke, punch and policeman and set fire to the place (actually, this is more or less what did happen).

So what has happened on this remastering ? Well, some of the vocals sound like they have been reworked, Mustaine's trademark sneering vocal style has been tamed a little, and overall the sound has been cleaned up a little. This is where the problem lies, Megadeth's second album sounds like music made by men on the edge of sanity, it was an awesome, thrilling musical experience, and this remastered version has trimmed away some of those manic thrills and spills and made the whole thing just a touch too safe and clean.

I still rate this version as 8* as Megadeth have not managed to totally cock up their original sound, but if you are thinking of buying Peace Sells, then search out the original version, it's a solid 10* album on which Mustaine and company threw everything they possessed wholeheartedly into the music and created a quite awesome technical metal sound.

11'9"01 September 11 - Ken Loach

2011-09-06T15:36:00.000+01:00

You Should Consider Having Sex With A Bearded Man

2011-09-03T08:28:00.000+01:00

Image by Getty Images via @daylifeGreat song by The Beards

"He rubs his bristles on your mammary glands" - this song is full of hirsute win.

2011-09-03T06:37:00.000+01:00

"I would have given the world to take back what I had said; but a word once spoken, who can recapture it?" - Kidnapped, Robert Louis Stevenson.

The Light Of A Single Candle

2011-09-03T06:30:00.001+01:00

Image via Wikipedia“All the darkness in the world cannot extinguish the light of a single candle.”

— St. Francis of Assisi

Top 10 Biggest and Best Jumps Ever

2011-09-02T07:36:00.000+01:00

It's Grim Up Elland Road

2011-09-01T07:38:00.004+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

Max Gradel

Although my passion for football continues to wane with every obscene transfer fee, wage demand and episode of diving and cheating, I still want Leeds United to do well and so at the start of this season I am more disappointed than ever with Ken Bates.

On transfer deadline day yesterday Leeds lost the excellent Max Gradel along with Fede Bessone and poor Mike Grella got the sack. Coming in to bolster the side there is nobody of any real note.

Leeds fans didn't fail to notice that our defence was weak last season and with our best striker for the past few seasons already having moved on, Leeds could certainly have used another good player up front. Oh yes, we got Billy Paynter.

If you has asked me before the beginning of this season where LUFC were likely to finish, I'd have said well short of the play-offs, and nothing in the transfer window has changed my opinion.

Mind you, the lean times at Leeds are as nothing when you have a look around the rest of Yorkshire, we don't have a club in football's top flight and yet the likes of Swansea, Norwich, West Brom, Wolves and Wigan are all up there. Barnsley, Leeds and the doomed looking Doncaster are floating around in the Championship with none of them having a really good chance at promotion, both Sheffield sides and Hudds are doing reasonably well in Division 3 and down in Division 4 Rotherham are on top, but once Premiership Bradford are in a lowly position and lucky to still be in existence.

In other sports, the Rhinos are rugby league's almost side this season and over at Headingley...

Well, what on earth has happened to the lads at Yorkshire CCC ? This year's team is largely the same team as last year, but Yorkshire have gone from challenging for the title to certain relegation, this season's results being a constant drizzle of dismal batting and bowling figures which account for a terrible record of 2 wins from 15 games. What happened lads ? It makes me glad that I've spent half the season watching Ilkley CC, at least I have seen a few wins there.

Picasso, Guernica, 1937

2011-08-30T07:50:00.000+01:00

Handle bar Moustache Club

2011-08-29T16:12:00.000+01:00

How to Kill a Motorcycle

2011-08-24T17:52:00.000+01:00

2011-08-24T13:14:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipedia

"Hoots! Small blame to ye! To be feared of a thing and yet to do it, is what makes the prettiest kind of a man." - Kidnapped by Robert Louis Stevenson.

England Whitewash India to Become The No.1 Test Side

2011-08-23T08:24:00.000+01:00

I know I have not been blogging of anything much apart from my Uni work recently, but that isn't to say that I havn't been watching and listening to our glorious cricket team demolish India to become the best test team in the world. England have been dominant in all departments, bowling, batting and fielding and the previously powerful and talented Indian team have look tired and weak in comparison.

Andrew Strauss's team really have become something quite astonishing, and now we are on top the team will have to work equally hard to keep this position, India will want to return to the top of the world and Australia are always hungry for victory. At least until the next round of tests though....

Tinie Tempah on Chris Ofili

2011-08-22T07:38:00.000+01:00

Image via Wikipediahttp://channel.tate.org.uk/media/69451326001

Rapper Tinie Tempah talks about his reactions to the Chris Ofili exhibition at Tate Britain.

Pic - No Woman, No Cry by Chris Ofili.

Representation of Depth in Art

2011-08-18T08:03:00.000+01:00

Image via WikipediaRepresentation of depth…

• overlapping

• diminishing scale

• atmospheric or aerial perspective

• vertical placement

• linear perspective

• modelling

Pic - Satire on False Perspective by William Hogarth.

The Girl Who Flies

2011-08-18T07:50:00.000+01:00

Natsumi Hayashi makes levitation photographs without photoshopping, you can check out her daily levitation blog here.

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