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Yorkshiresoul - "Yes that's correct, the price for the raw steak is £12 but you did want it cooking didn't you ?"
Jet2 Man - "Well yes but...."
YS - "Well that's 12 quid for cooking, 8 quid for chips, a fiver for the sauce, and then you didn't want to eat it off your lap with your fingers so the plate and cutlery charge is 15 pounds."
Jet2 Man - "But that's still only 40 quid ?"
YS - "Well yes, but you wanted to eat your steak at the same table as your wife and friends, so that's another 20 quid or you end up sitting in the alley with Stinky Bob the strange homeless dude."
Jet2 Man - "And that still only comes to £60, where do you get all the rest of the money from ?"
YS - "A tenner for me to write the bill for you, and another tenner for you to pay it."
Jet2 Man - "You're fucking kidding ?!"
YS - "Only if you are."
Jet2 Man - "And what's this last item, it looks like you've written 'thieving bastards' across the bottom of my bill ?"
YS - "Ah yes sir, that would be the thieving bastard charge."
Jet2 Man - "This is a disgrace ! I'm walking out."
YS - "Only if you've bought one of our 'Exit Door Tokens' at the bargain price of £25, and if you haven't, the seating charge is by the minute."