I was testing children in my Dublin Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting into heaven.
I asked them, 'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into heaven?'
NO!' the children answered.
If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the garden, and kept everything tidy, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, the answer was 'NO!' By now I was starting to smile.
'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave sweets to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into heaven?'
Again, they all answered 'NO!'.
I was just bursting with pride for them.
I continued, "Then how can I get into heaven?"
A six year-old boy shouted out: "YUV GOTTA BE FOOKN' DEAD!"
(thanks to Barbara)