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Breaking news here as the BBC are now able to report that yesterday hundreds of thousands, if not millions of British Muslims went to work, took their children to school, sneaked a fag halfway through the morning, moaned about the weather and got a takeaway for supper because they'd had a long day and couldn't be bothered cooking.
It's over to our on the spot reporter in Bradford who has found a British Muslim to interview....
Slightly breathless BBC reporter - "So, you claim your name is Ajib Jan ?"
Ajib Jan (for it is he) - "Er, yes, Ajib, that's me."
BBC wallah - "And just what were you doing yesterday Mr. Jan ?"
AJ - "Well, I had some porridge for breakfast, took the kids to school because the missus had an early keep fit class, went to work, moaned about the weather, had a cup of tea with the lads, came home, walked the dog, watched some telly and the missus made a lasagna for dinner."
BBC - "But what about the poppies, what about our fallen soldiers."
AJ - "Oh yeah, mine blew off in the wind yesterday, but we've got a collection tin at work so I put 50p in and got another one, and we did the silence at 11, mind you, half the lads nipped out into the car park for a crafty ciggie."
BBC - "But didn't you burn the poppies and spit on the Union Jack ? You're a Muslim aren't you ?"
AJ - "No. Hey mate, I was born here, my cousin plays for Yorkshire U-17's. Do you like Aerosmith ?"
BBC - "What ?"
AJ - "Aerosmith, the band, I like that one that goes if you can tell a wise man by the colour of his skin you're a better man than I"
Back to the studio now where we're showing endless footage of a few mindless thugs burning poppies.