Saturday, September 04, 2010

Guns 'n Roses Catch A Plane

Axl Rose - "I am Axl Rose of Guns 'n Roses ©™ and I am here with my band to take the plane to Los Angeles, 1st Class of course, and I demand that you scatter rose petals along the concourse."

Flight Desk Attendant - "I'm sorry Mr. Rose but the LA flight left an hour ago."

Axl - "What ?!! Motherfucker. Don't you know who I am ?"

FDA - "Yes sir I do. You are Axl Rose and you're an hour late for your flight.  I Don't recognise the other gentlemen with you though."

Generic Rock Bass Player - "Hi, I'm Generic Rock Bass Player."

Man with upturned Kentucky Fried Chicken bucket on his head - "I'm not Slash."

Axl - "I am Axl Rose, the most important figure in the whole heavy rock genre, and I demand that you bring back that plane right now. Motherfucker."

FDA - "I am sorry Mr Rose but that just isn't possible.  We put out several calls over the tannoy and you didn't respond to any of them."

Axl - "I am Axl Rose, messages are delivered to me hand written on parchment carried by nubile virgins shimmering with fragrant oils. I don't answer no fucking tannoy. Motherfucker."

FDA - "Mr. Rose, if you continue swearing at me then I'm going to get Big Bob from security to taser you."

Axl - "I am Axl Rose and no motherfucker tasers the God of...." (BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ, singe, crackle)

Axl - "motherfucker...." BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

Next episode - Axl Rose tries to catch a train.

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