It's A Red (Spy) Letter Day
Picture the scene, The Times editor and a group of cronies are sat around in the offices of one of the UK's most respected daily journals, dossiers of information and photographs and laid on the table amidst open bottles of champagne and Pimms.
London's finest press reporters are celebrating the breaking of a major political scandal, Russia has been spying an America. OK, so that isn't really much of a scandal at all, in fact, we'd all be more surprised if Russia were not engaged in planting deep cover spies and ferreting out the secrets of their competitors. What then has caught the imagination of the broadsheet newspaper men ?
Senior Reporter - "She's got massive knockers."
Senior Picture Editor - "Truly astounding bazookas."
Coffee Boy (Giles Coren) - "And she's a redhead, mmmm." (starts drooling)
More comments along the lines of "Huge lungs" , "I'd like those as hand warmers" , "You could have someones eye out with those, mine preferably."
Editor - "This is a story that will run and run."
Picture Editor - "Not to mention a photo we can endlessly reprint on the front page."
Editor - "Cheers and Double D's all round!"
(Pic - a pretty woman with nice garbanzos, she may also be a spy, other women in the spy ring were quite plain so we're not showing them.)
The Times, not just a quality newspaper, but a newspaper that uses any old flimsy excuse to put pictures of large breasted attractive women on the front page.
In tomorrow's Yorkshire Soul : Is The Times about to merge with Nuts ?