Golfing World Shocked By Further Revelations
The normally staid, indeed plaid world of professional golf suffered further shock waves this morning when a woman in Nether Poppleton claimed not to have slept with Tiger Woods.
"I know it sounds unlikely," said Doris Boslas, 83. "But I have not had sex with Tiger Woods or any other professional golfer. Mind you, that Roger Bannister was pretty good in the sack."
It is now thought that Tiger Woods has slept with nearly all the women, yes that's right, all the women, everywhere, including your sister, your mum and that slightly odd girl with the lisp that works at the petrol station.
In related news, Tiger Woods will be taking a break from golf to undergo not at all routine surgery to have a pitching wedge removed from his backside, shortly after this incident his wife Elin was heard to shout "Now that's what I call a hole in one."