A young boy was sitting outside his house crying.
A passing neigbour sees him and says
"Seamus, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"
Seamus replies "'Tis a terrible t'ing. Me mam's dying"
"That's awful" the neighbour says "Would you like me to fetch the priest?"
"No thanks", says Seamus, "I'm not in the mood for sex"
I'm going to Hull for that one.