F1 Season Off To Thrilling Start
Now sports fans we're going to cross over live to the action as it happens.......
Commentary - "Coming around the first bend now, and clearly in the lead, it's the McLaren team headed up by Queen's Counsel Michael Taylor-Woodhead with the pack close behind him, I can see Prosecution Counsel Sir Geoffrey Winterhaven and Nigel Eddison who has only recently been called to the bar."
Taylor-Woodhead - "M'lud, it is my contention that my client did not, as has been stated by the prosecution, deliberately allow another driver to pass him on the home strait thus irrevocably altering the outcome of said motor vehicle speed test, but did in all honestly drive his automobile to the very best of his ability."
Sir Geoffrey Winterhaven for the Prosecution - "Sir, upon questioning the accused, in the first instance of inquiry he claimed to have allowed the vehicle allegedly driven by Jarno Trulli to pass him without due hindrance, but when the question was put before him a second time the accused changed his statement and I quote "It wasn't my fault guv, the boss told me to do it". I put it to you M'lud that this man's statement is a tissue of lies and we should all retire to the back room of the Dog & Gun for a pre-lunch snifter."
Lord Justice Sir William Buffington-Smythe - (Bangs gavel) "All in favour say aye".
All - "Aye"
Buffington-Smythe - "It's young Nigel's round, get 'em in Nigers."
Nigel Eddison - "Oh bugger off Willy, surely its your turn."
Buffington-Smythe - "You know full well Nigers that Jesus College alumni don't buy on Fridays."
Commentary - "And that's it for now F1 fans, a thrilling conclusion to the first court case of the season I'm sure you'll agree, join us here next week when we'll be showing the legal fall out from Australian Farcical 1 race."