Monday, February 02, 2009

Strikes Sweep France

I thought the point of a news service is to report news, i.e. to bring to the public information on events which have changed or altered in some significant way.

Wasting minutes of air time to tell us that the French are on strike is like having an in depth report into the startling revelation that Alex Salmond is still Scottish, or that the British like to moan about the weather.

The French go on strike, it's what they do, striking is an ingrained part of French culture, the Brits binge drink and fight in the streets, the Swiss are fastidious and punctual, and the French go on strike. And while they're at it, they like to burn a few lorry loads of English lambs as well.

Today, motorways across France are closed because French strikers have blockaded them, today Motorways across Britain are closed because there has been an inch of snow and nobody ever buys snow tires.

The French are famous for their four hour lunches, for their mistresses, their appreciation of wine that citizens of other nations would put on their chips, and for their love of burning English livestock, and to be fair, it's very hard to fit all these things in to your 30 hour week, so you may as well have a couple of strike days so you can go out eating and drinking, screwing and animal burning with your mates.

President Nicolas Sarkozy has to walk a fine line between courting public opinion and actually getting a modicum of work out of the French work force, it's not an easy task, in the UK when the PM slips too low in the opinion polls we have a general election, in France, they send them to the guillotine.

Prime Minister Francois Fillon has an even harder job, he has to negotiate with the unions, this often involves lunches so long that the cheese course becomes the starter for the evening meal, much cheap wine is drunk and everyone agrees that France is almost perfect, the French language shouldn't be tainted by becoming Franglaise, and that if they can't find a dubious legal reason to ban British meat imports, then they'll just set fire to them on the docks.

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