Needle Hits Needle In Haystack
My favourite bit of news I read on the BBC whilst I was away on holiday was that a British nuclear submarine had managed to ram another nuclear submarine, in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.
Of course the news of this needle in a haystack finding exercise is only made better by the fact that the submarine rammed by a Royal Navy vessel was French. The French of course will think that we damaged their submarine on purpose and will embark on a long series of trade sanctions against the UK. There is a positive boon to the event though for some, Greenpeace will be able to protest in safety for a while without fear of being sunk by the French navy.
The editor of Jane's Fighting Ships said "Navies want quiet areas, deep areas, roughly the same distance from their home ports. So you find these station grounds have got quite a few submarines, not only French and Royal Navy but also from Russia and the United States."
The mind boggles, it would appear that in all the vast depths of the Atlantic, all the major navies of the world, and the French, are hiding their submarines in the same small gully. What's going on there ? Are they having a DS Mario Kart tournament and the subs have to be that close or their handsets can't get each other's signals ?
Worryingly, it would appear that the world's nuclear submarines are actually a bit rubbish, neither the British or French sub knew that the other was in the area, so in a war situation there would be no chance of detecting and destroying another submarine, not that I'm necessarily advocating going to war with France of course. The commander of Le Triomphant reported that his sub has struck a submerged container of some sort, the British commander of HMS Vanguard thought that the chef had knocked something over on the galley.
What's with that name though, Le Triomphant, what French triumph is that referring to ? We should insist that all French navy vessels are re-named along the lines of Le Thank The Lord For Britain And America.