Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Big Phil Calls For Unity At Chelsea

Some said the club couldn't make it with a foreign manager, and yesterday Britain FC were sinking fast in the league after a weekend hammering by Job Losses United, but the club's plucky manager, 'Big' Gordy Brown came out swinging in his own particular style.

"Oh yes," he said in his heavily accented English. "We plan to spend £20billion in the January transfer window to bring in some big names to the club like Bank Lending and Small Business Cash Flow. I've watched Cash Flow performing for Germany FC and he's just the sort of player we need."

Cash Flow's agents were not available for comment today and a source close to Germany FC said they had no plans to sell him.

Some football critics have blamed US soccer manager George W Bush for the current world football crisis saying that if it wasn't for his lack of control over US players Fannie Mack and Freddie Mercury, then we wouldn't all be up to our necks in shit in the first place.

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