Prime Minister Rushed Into Hospital
The country holds its breath today at the shock news that Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been rushed into hospital.
"The pain caused by kidney stones can be quite excruciating," said Prof Kyle of the Renal Unit at St. Bartholemews. "Even a very small stone can cause debilitating pain and bouts of violent vomiting."
Gordon Brown is said to have reacted to these accounts of Peter Mandelson's illness with such hilarity that his own ohysician had begun to fear for his health.
"Gordon hasn't stopped laughing for over two hours now," said Dr McBill (Private patients only, appointments on Tues and Thurs morning - golf permitting - platinum credit cards or Coutts cheques to be presented in advance). "We thought at first that he had suffered a rare form of Kuru or CJD, but now we're sure that it's just that he finds Mr. Mandelson's condition to be hysterically funny."
Political commentators report that it isn't just the PM that finds Mandy's sudden illness to be so entertaining.
"Guffaws and bursts of laughter can be heard all over Whitehall," said one.