Karl The IT Man Opens A Restaurant
Customer - "Table for one please."
Karl - "Certainly, would sir like a plastic table near the toilet, a laminate table in the middle of the room, or a hand polished oak table on the balcony with sweeping views of the valley ?"
Customer - "Oh, the oak table please."
Karl hands the customer a menu.
Customer - "I'd like the lamb chops please."
A few minutes later a waiter drops a package on the customer's table.
Customer - "Excuse me, but what is this."
Karl the IT Man - "Those are your lamb chops sir."
Customer - "But they are vac-packed, raw and frozen, just what am I expected to do with them ?"
Karl - "Well that's hardly my problem now is it ?"
Customer - "Well yes it is actually, I want them cooked, and I want some vegetables with them."
Karl takes the lamb chops away. Ten minutes later he re-appears with the now cooked lamb chops and vegetables on a plate.
Customer - "And what am I supposed to eat them with ?"
Karl - "You'll have to purchase a mark 1 left and right standard hand attachment dining set."
Customer - "What ?"
Karl - "A knife and fork Sir."
Customer - "I have to buy a knife and fork ?"
Karl the IT Man - "Well yes sir, unless you're planning on eating them with your fingers."
....some time later.....
Customer - "What the hell are all these things on the bill ?"
Karl - "Well that is the charge for the meal, the charge for your hand attachment dining set, the charge for the oak table with view and the call out charges for me attending to your table."
Customer - "You didn't bloody tell me that it was going to cost more to eat at this table."
Karl the IT man - "I'm sure that should have been obvious from the quality of this table over the standard ones."
Customer - "And you're charging me for the lamb and then charging me again for bringing it to the table ?"
Karl the IT Man, with big grin - "And I'm charging you for going back to fetch the condiment set !"
There is a scream as the enraged customer pitches Karl off the balcony.
Customer - Yorkshiresoul (For it is he) - "It's the only language these bastards understand."