Monday, August 04, 2008

Gas Prices To Rise 35%

£144m in dividends to be handed out to British Gas shareholders, so, 2 + 2 = 144 million, nice.

British Gas will probably make one of those famous BP statements.....

"We don't acutally make much money from selling petrol, our profits are made in upstream operations"

What the hell does that mean ? Upstream operations ? Is that like salmon returning to spawn ?

Coming soon......

McDonalds - "We don't actally make a profit from selling burgers"

Tesco - "We don't really force our suppliers into a state of near bankruptcy and then try to hide our obscene profits in offshore funds"

Max Mosley - "I'm so rich that hiring groups of whores dressed in leather can be put down as a legitimate tax deduction"

Gordon Brown - "Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit"

(file under "Big Business are Bastards")

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