Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween Groan

Alone late one foggy night,

When behind him he hears:


BUMP...




BUMP...




BUMP...





Walking faster, he looks back and through the fog h e makes out the
image of an upright casket banging its way down the middle of the street
toward him.




BUMP...





BUMP...





BUMP...






Terrified, the man begins to run toward his home, the casket bouncing
quickly behind him





FASTER..





FASTER...






BUMP...







BUMP...






BUMP...





He runs up to his door, fumbles with his keys, opens the door, rushes
in, slams and locks the door behind him.








However, the casket crashes through his door, with the lid of the casket
clapping










clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...






clappity-BUMP...





on his heels, the terrified man runs.





Rushing upstairs to the bathroom, the man locks himself in. His heart is
pounding; his head is reeling; his breath is coming in sobbing gasps.



With a loud CRASH the casket breaks down the door.









Bumping and clapping toward him.





The man screams and reaches for something, anything,
but all he can find is a bottle of cough syrup!









Desperate, he throws the cough syrup at the casket...



















and,

















(hopefully you're ready for this!!!)







The coffin stops.

(You can all blame EvilBarSteward for dropping this in my inbox)
Flock Together



Starlings sat on power lines at Spurn Point.
Kilnsea Beach



I saw this half buried on the beach at Kilnsea on our trip to Spurn Point. I can't fathom what it is, it looks like a pill box except there seems to be no way to get in or out of the thing.

Seeing the way the land has eroded here, perhaps this was set up on the small cliffs and was entered from underneath, maybe the erosion has dropped it down onto the beach.
Captions ?



(Click for larger.)
Welcome Darkness

The clocks have gone back, British Summer is officially over, it's dark an hour earlier and all the visiting golfers have stopped coming.

Great! I can get a social life again.

Last night was a nice, normal night. Dinner with Mrs YS and a movie on the telly. Tonight, Gogol Bordello at Leeds Met, Wednesday night I'm open to offers, Thursday I'll be setting off improbable amounts of loud and colourful explosive devices, got to work Friday, and then an early night on Saturday because we're setting off in the wee, small hours to start our trip to Singapore and Australia.

During the summer season we usually finish work sometime between 11-12pm, sometimes later. When the nights come in and we have no people staying on it's nice to be able to go to bed when you want rather than when work allows you. Last night I went up to bed at ten o'clock, luxury.
Someone Doesn't Want You To Read This

There should be a new block above the main blog which contains a small section from an article of news or comment that is banned somewhere in the world.

This is part of the Amnesty International campaign to prevent governments and companies like Google from censoring the internet, if enough bloggers pick up on the idea, much like millions did with the Make Poverty History banners, then those that wish to repress information will find it impossible to do so.

You can find a direct link to the Irrespressible Info campaign here.

Sunday, October 29, 2006

Big Brother USA Is Watching You

Have you rented/driven a car in the USA in ther last 15 years ? If so then then the National Licence Bureau of America has your records on file, including your photo (passed on to the US by our helpful government).

Check your details held by US agencies by clicking here.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

The Madness Of Mobile Phones

What is with people and their insane addiction to texting ?

I'm out at a gig on tuesday night, stood at the urinal letting go of a couple of pints of Kronenbourg and the guy next to me is texting like mad, one hand on dick, one hand on phone.

This proves not to be a wise move when he lets go of the phone and drops it into the gutter of the urinal, sadly downhill from me and the other two blokes using the facilities at the time.

Friday, October 27, 2006

Call Centre Crime

After reading this article on the BBC site, perhaps it is us who should be asking them the security questions.

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Where Have I Seen Him Before ?

A Sign From Above



I'm not actually working right hard today.

Your own name written in lightning here.
She Loves Me....



Almost as much as I love T.a.t.u.

She could love you too
Vote Yorkshirsoul



And if you don't, I have plans to take over in a violent and bloodstained revolution anyway.

Make your own election badge here.
Behind Closed Doors

The English Football Association are to contest charges of disrepute after England fans got into a bit of a ruck with members of the Croatian Nazi Party (known in Croatia as 'The Police') after the fans were kindly locked out of the stadium after paying their hard earned cash to tickets to see the match.

Penalties might include a hefty fine, or being forced to play their next couple of games behind closed doors.

A similar set of charges brought against Leeds United were greeted with relief by many LUFC fans yesterday.

"We would welcome LUFC playing behind closed doors," said one season ticket holder. "Anything is better than watching another five goal thrashing."

"I could be at home with the kids, or shopping with the wife, I remember when we had players who could give a shit about the club," said another fan, echoing the sentiments of every LUFC fan.

And just to really cheer up the long suffering Leeds fans, chairman Ken Bates had seen fit to install ex-Chelsea and Millwall scummer Dennis Wise as manager. What was wrong with Gary McAllister you buffoon ?



(Pic thanks to Oliver Fowler)
My Friends Are The Best Friends

Many thanks to the Woodhead Irregulars for helping me out last night in one of my hours of need.

Chefling Robyn doesn't seem to have read the small print in her contract which clearly states, "Don't ring in sick, you can ring in dead, but only with a week's notice."

So there I am, running around on my own trying to get dinner for 60 ready, plus the usual lunchtime crowd to look after, when I catch my arm on a pan of boiling water, ouch, much swearing ensues. There is even more swearing when I realise that in jerking backwards away from the steam I have knocked a pint of cream all over the sandwiches I was making.

Mrs YS leapt to the rescue and put a hydrogel dressing on my arm, this seems to have worked well, this morning I have no blistering, just an angry looking red patch about the size of my palm on the inside of my right wrist.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

The Family Car....

...isn't the same the world over.









(Thanks to The Lurker for those)

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

Look Out for That Banana Skin Bob!



Here is Robert Cheruiyot romping home in the Chicago Marathon last weekend, he's in the lead, things are going well, he's about to cross the line, nothing can go wrong now.

Or can it ?

Look out for that banana skin Bob!



Oops.



OOPS !



And down he goes.



Thud. That's going to sting.



Hang on, what is going on here ?

"Perhaps if we roll this up really quickly no-one will notice that he slipped on the Laselle Bank tiles."

Oh yes they will.



"He just slipped," race referee Pat Savage said. "Luckily for him, he slipped completely forward. The finish line is right at the beginning of the mat, and he ended up sliding right across it. ... There is no doubt about it; he's the winner."




Poor lad, it's all a bit much, you run really well for 26 miles only to fall right on your arse in front of thousands of people, and his Mum watching on the telly.

Monday, October 23, 2006

The Wisdom Of Rio Ferdinand



Of necessity, this will be a fairly short article.

Rio Ferdinand, "England's Most Talked About Footballer" - according to his publicists, after Beckham perhaps, and maybe Rooney, oh yes Stan Collymore, Robbie Savage, er, England's 5th Most Talked About Footballer doesn't have quite that same cachet.

Anyway, Rio said this about footballers who hand out racist abuse "Players need to be banned for a certain amount of games and massive fines - something that is going to makes people sit and up and think: 'I had better not do that. My club is going to suffer, I am going to suffer. I will get embarrassed in public as well'.

"I think people need to be hung out to dry. There needs to be nowhere they can have a safe haven.

"Football is not going to get racism out of society but it goes a long way to setting the right tone towards kids coming through because football is an inspiration.

"If they see footballers doing the right thing then more than likely they will try to go along the same lines.

"The powers that be have a part to play."

Which is all well and good, and I'm sure we would all agree with him.

I wonder though, what exactly is Rio's stance on footballers who take drugs, recreational or otherwise ?

In other news, Rio Ferdinand (England's Most Talked About Footballer remember) shifted a fairly paltry 8,000 copies of his autobiography, shame, and he was hoping to buy a third yacht with the proceeds.

Customers on Amazon seem less than impressed with Rio's scribblings.
Well Done That Man



Congratulations to James Hepworth of Ilkley Golf Club who won the last Challenge Tour tournament of the year at San Domenico, Brindisi, Italy and now gets to play with the big boys on the main European Golf Tour next season.

James was lying in 29th place in the tour rankings at the start of the tournament and with only 20 cards on offer for the the main tour he knew he had to pull off something rather special on the final four days of the season. James carded scores of 69, 65, 68, 69 to finish 13 under par and win the competition by two shots, the win moved him up to 5th plave in the final rankings to guarantee him aplace on the the 2007 European Tour.

Well done James, you can buy me a pint from your winnings when you're next in the 19th.

There is no rest for professional golfers, the season begins again on the 9th of November in Shenshan, China, although I gather James will miss the first couple of events and will join the tourdown under for the New Zealand Open, good luck mate.

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Confucious Say....

...regarding an incident in the car park yesterday.....

"It is a foolish man that parks his Porsche under an apple tree on a windy day."

Friday, October 20, 2006

The Scariest Man In Music

Who would that be then ?

Marilyn Manson ?

Probably not, I know he got middle America all upset but apart from taking a few illegal substances and a penchant for putting lightsticks up his bum on stage, he's not actually all that dangerous. Marilyn Manson is a creation just as much as Alice Cooper is (Manson even references this when he sings "I'm just a copy of an imitation"), the make-up, the clothes, it's all just Halloween spookiness for older kids, still great though.



Aw look, a dead lamb of God on each shoulder, he's pressing all the right buttons, but it's a little too contrived.



This on the other hand is quite scary, Mazza blacks up for a photo shoot for the Golden Age Of The Grotesque album and comes out looking like some mutant undead Mickey Mouse, that's just nasty Mazza.

What's really, really scary though is this......



Aaaaaargh! The horror! That's Marilyn, aka Brian Warner, after being arrested for waving his genitals in the face of a security man. He's an ugly bugger, stick to the make up Brian.

So, if Mazza isn't the scariest man in music, perhaps it's......

Sid Vicious



A man almost completely devoid of talent, yet with enough attitude to make him of of the most famous rock icons of all time. Sid was an arse, a heroin junkie who played bass badly and couldn't carry a tune in a bucket, he made up for this by sneering (which he was very good at), spitting, fighting and cutting himself on stage, still, he was more of a danger to himself than to society at large, although he did help to create punk.

Keith Flint



I know what you're thinking, he lives in a big country house, apparently excels as a cook, has a wide ranging knowledge of vintage wines, but still, there was a time when Flint was dangerous, specifically the Firestarter video.



Whenever this video comes on I'm glued to it in fascination, look at Flinty in it, he just looks mad, mad, mad. Dangerous, unhinged psycho ward mad. Look at those eyes, mad I tell you.



Or perhaps it's.......

Wattie Buchan



Mad as a box of frogs Wattie Buchan, he decided being in the army wasn't challenging or dangerous enough so he formed The Exploited, now if you think Green Day or Blink-182 are punk, then you're wrong. The Exploited are punk, and if you argue, then Wattie will hurt you. He looks pretty much like what he is, a loonatic Glaswegian hard man.

And there's......

G G Allin

Those of a nervous disposition may want to look away now.



GG Allin had about twenty different bands, all called GG Allin And The........, they were all similarly crap, but GG was a real basket case, in the photo above, that will be his own blood.



GG was not a well man, you never knew quite what you were going to get if you went to a GG Allin show, but you knew you'd need a shower afterwards. GG used prolific amounts of drugs (which would eventually kill him) and was a real danger on stage, cutting himself, smashing bottles on his head, pissing and puking, not averse to taking a crap and throwing it at the audience. You'd really want to stand at the back of the hall, out of the way of things that GG might hurl, mic stands, guitars, insanely brave would be stage divers, people got hurt at his gigs.

Do you know anyone scarier than this lot ?
Punk Is Dead ?

"Punk became a fashion just like hippy used to be and it ain't got a thing to do with you or me. Movements are systems and systems kill. Movements are expressions of the public will. Punk became a movement cos we all felt lost, but the leaders sold out and now we all pay the cost. "

(From a Portuguese music site)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Book Review - Lucifer : Morningstar - Mike Carey*****



And so it ends.

Or does it ?

When Mike Carey took one of Neil Gaiman's supporting cast from Sandman he always said that the series was going to have a defined length, much as Sandman did, and as Lucifer thunders towards its conclusion you can't help but see a little similarity between the conclusions of two of the greatest comic series ever written.

Pretty much every character from the entire ten book run of Lucifer makes an appearance in this volume, all the plots, sub-plots, side treks and machinations by all the involved parties are brought to fruition or destruction by the final pages.

The army of the Lilim, under command of Lilith (first wife of Adam) are gathering to storm the gates of Heaven where the Host wait in trepidation without God to help them, a renegade second Host created by Lilith and the angel Sandalphon has joined them. In Hell, dead man Christopher Rudd holds sway over dead souls and demons alike after Duma the silent angel spoke and gave him the key to Hell. Lucifer and Elaine witness the birth of Jill Presto's child, the rape baby of the Basanos. Fenris the wolf stalks the plains of Armageddon and the Archangel Michael has shed his blood into the roots of the World Tree. The powers then are all gathered, and war awaits.

I don't want to give away any more spoilers, the book is as beatifully written as ever, characters twisting and turning, fighting and backstabbing or remaining utterly loyal as their desires or dedication demands. The artwork, handled again by Peter Gross, Ryan Kelly, Marc Hempel and Ronald Wimberly, is wonderful and evocative.

The storytelling throughout has been fantastic, patient and always building towards this point, you'll find yourself thinking "Ah, so that's what was going on in book 2 (or 6, or 4, or 7......) as finally all the plots and alliances are revealed. Carey has maintained a very high level of storytelling through the entire series with all the strands weaving themselves into one vast, coherent story arc.

Also included in Morningstar is a one off featuring Gaudium in a story that serves to remind us just why Hell was so full, and what the consequences of power really are for the stupid and shallow.



Typically, the book doesn't end as you thought it might, Yahweh does make a belated appearence, many people die, some are brought to great power, The Great Power, and it might not be who you expect. The series could have ended here, on the last page of Morningstar everything seems to make a kind of sense, and it would have been no bad thing for the series to conclude as it does here, but Carey is a tidy sort of bloke, and he wants to sort out a few of the loose endings, so be prepared for this....



Lucifer : Evensong, January 2007.

And then it will end.

Tuesday, October 17, 2006

Pleasant Times

This is the life, I've got a bottle of chilled Cava, some metal banging away in the background, and the new Walking Dead, Lucifer and Strange girl .
Gerry Fecking Adams!!

Saw this gizmo over at I Am A Donut, thought I'd have a go, bugger me, apprently I'm the spitting image of Gerry 'Blood on my hands' Adams, I'm not at all impressed.

MyHeritage - genealogy software with facial recognition technology

Also, all my look-a-likes are old farts, are they saying I'm old ? Who is Joey Fatone anyway ?
Unsigned, Unknown, Unrecognised, Still Rather Good

The Mekano Set

Who ? 3 Piece 'dirty electric pop' band from Brighton

Similar To ? Siouxsie and the Banshees, Meat Beat Manifesto, PJ Harvey, PiL, Joy Division

Where ? Mekano Set MySpace, Mekano Set Website

Looks like ?



Cotheria

Who ? Brand spanking new heavy metallers from the West Riding of Yorkshire, except for singer Kyle who's a Canuck.

Similar to ? Bullet For My Valentine, Deftones, Trivium

Where ? Cotheria MySpace

Looks like ?




JinZena

Who ? Leeds based modern ska band with keyboards

Similar to ? The Selecter, hints of Muse, Talking Heads, Blondie

Where ? JinZena MySpace

Looks like......




Fuck Off Machete

Who ? Paul Mellon, Callan Dickson and Nashii Noramly make up the Glasgow indie band.

Similar To ? Iggy Pop, QOTSA, Flaming Lips

Where ? FO Machete MySpace

Looks Like.....


Betty Curse

Who ? Betty is the cute little Goth with her band all of whom are surnamed Curse, awww, cute. Now signed to Island Records.

Similar to ? She's sort of the Avril Lavigne for mini-Goths, The Cure, Cyndi Lauper, Jesus And Mary Chain

Where ? Betty Curse MySpace

Looks Like...


Drugdealer Cheerleader

Who ? Glam rocker/metal outfit from London

Similar To ? Girl, New York Dolls, The Stooges, Motley Crue, G 'n R, Poison

Where ? Drugdealer Cheerleader MySpace, Drugdealer Cheerleader Website

Looks Like....


Bat For Lashes

Who ? Gothic pop from Brighton Based Natasha Khan and crew. Debut album out now.

Similar to ? Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, The Virgin Suicides, Siouxsie and the Banshees, the bands website says they sound like "Halloween when you're small"

Where ? Bat For Lashes MySpace, Bat For Lashes Website

Looks like....


More to follow.....
Poetry Sithee

Hi waitress, excuse me a minute, now listen,
I'm not finding fault, but here, Miss,
The 'taters look gradely... the beef is a'reet,
But what kind of pudden is this?

It's what?...
Yorkshire pudden!, now coom, coom, coom, coom,
It's what? Yorkshire pudden d'ye say!
It's pudden, I'll grant you... it's some sort of pudden,
But not Yorkshire pudden... nay nay!

The real Yorkshire pudden's a dream in batter,
To make one's an art, not a trade,
Now listen to me, for I'm going to tell thee,
How t' first Yorkshire pudden wor made.

A young angel on furlough from heaven,
Came flying above Ilkley Moor,
And this angel, poor thing, got cramp in her wing,
And coom down at owd woman's door.

The owd woman smiled and said, 'Ee, it's an angel,
Well I am surprised to see thee,
I've not seen an angel before... but thou 'rt welcome,
I'll make thee a nice cup o' tea.'

The angel said, 'Ee, thank you kindly, I will',
Well, she had two or three cups of tea,
Three or four Sally Lunns, and a couple of buns...
Angels eat very lightly you see.

The owd woman looking at clock said, 'By Gum!
He's due home from mill is my Dan,
You get on wi' ye tea, but you must excuse me,
I must make pudden now for t' owd man.

Then the angel jumped up and said, 'Gimme the bowl...
Flour and watter and eggs, salt an' all,
And I'll show thee how we make puddens in Heaven,
For Peter and Thomas and Paul'.

So t' owd woman gave her the things, and the angel,
Just pushed back her wings and said. 'Hush'
Then she tenderly tickled the mixture wi' t' spoon,
Like an artist would paint with his brush.

Aye, she mixed up that pudden with Heavenly magic,
She played with her spoon on that dough,
Just like Paderewski would play the piano.
Or Kreisler now deceased would twiddle his bow.

And then it wor done and she put it in t' oven
She said t' owd woman, 'Goodbye',
Then she flew away leaving the first Yorkshire pudden,
That ever was made... and that's why...

It melts in the mouth, like the snow in the sunshine,
As light as a maiden's first kiss,
As soft as the fluff on the breast of a dove...
Not elephant's leather, like this.

It's real Yorkshire pudden that makes Yorkshire lassies,
So buxum and broad in the hips,
It's real Yorkshire pudden that makes Yorkshire cricketers,
Win County championships.

It's real Yorkshire pudden that gives me my dreams,
Of a real Paradise up above,
Where at the last trump, I'll queue up for a lump,
Of the real Yorkshire pudden I love.

And there on a cloud... far away from the crowd,
In a real Paradise, not a dud 'un,
I'll do nowt for ever... and ever and ever,
But gollup up real Yorkshire pudden.

(Nicked from Eleanor)

Monday, October 16, 2006

Album Review : Costello Music - The Fratellis*****



I don't dance. I just don't, because I only have one dance and it's a podgy bloke on a surfboard sort of thing, but this, this makes me want to dance.

The Fratellis are a three piece from Glasgow who gleefully pilfer riffs and ideas from classic rock and 70's sitcom themetunes and then turn them into astonishingly catchy I've got that song in my head and it won't let go type of tunes.

From bouncy opner Henrietta through to closing number Ole Black 'n Blue Eyes there isn't a weak track on the album. All the way through it is music to sing along to with a big, dirty grin on your face, it's upbeat, infectious and happy despite the slightly dark and misogynistic lyrics.

A la The Ramones, the three boys on the band ("Just these three miserable cunts
Sitting on the back seat banging on the off beat") are all called Fratelli, Jon, Barry and, er Mince. Mince ? It's always the drummers who are the weird ones.

Amongst the more prominent influences on the album you may spot the riff from Rudie Can't Fail by The Clash ripped out wholesale to open Everybody Knows You Cried Last Night, big bits of Terrorvision turn up here and there alongside big sing-a-longs from classic era glam rock, but I'm not complaining about any of these 'influences' because it's all so bloody well done.

This is fantastic, I had previously thought Muse were going to put out the killer album of the year, but Arctic Monkeys produced a stunner and Costello Music is nothing short of loveable, rogueish genius, buy it and smile, now where's me surfboard ?
Album Review : Amputechture - The Mars Volta**



I thought that The Mars Volta's previouys two studio albums (De-Loused In The Comatorium, Frances The Mute) were fairly amazing stuff, long prog songs with influences from many fields and genres.

This album then comes as a bit of a dissapointment, structurally and musically it is pretty much the same as the previous two outings, and this is the problem, The Mars Volta just don't seem to be trying to achieve anything, they seem to be comfortable in their prog/jazz/rock niche and don't want to do anything different.

On Frances The Mute there were at least a couple of songs that actually followed a song structure, something that you could get your head around rather than just lose yourself in. Amputechture though might test anybody's prog leanings, I have listened to the album a dozen times, and still no 'song' really stands out, indeed I can't really remember how any of them go.

Sure, they're all fantastic musicians, but these constant flights of musical fancy do start to get a bit wearying after a while, whilst they seemd wildly inventive and different on the preceeding albums, here it just comes across as a bit lazy, long wandering solo's and freestyle jazz instead of anything more solid.

The previous albums were supposedly held together by a single narrative, if you could work out what it is between obtuse lyrics sung in English, Portuguese and a language that Omar apparently makes up as he goes along, but Amputechture does not, and perhaps this is where it fails, with no project to drive it, all the songs have turned out as much of a muchness.
Book Review : The Accidental - Ali Smith***



I thought that within a few pages this wasn't going to be the sort of book that I would enjoy, but sat in the kitchen on a long, empty Sunday afternoon I got through 100 pages or so, about a third of the book, and found it quite enjoyable.

The structure of the novel is a little odd, it is told in stream of consciousness / thought processes of four of the five protagonists, thus the actual plot can often be buried within, or distracted by, fairly random thoughts about girls, dinner, home movies, the weather or any of the myriad small things that attract and distract us all on a daily basis.

The only mind you don't get to see into is the most intriguing, Amber walks into a family holiday home where each of the four family members are so self occupied that they all assume the girl is something to do with one of the others and nobody, for a while at least, questions her right or reason to be there.

Amber acts as a mirror of conscience for the husband and wife, saviour and lover to their teenage son and confidante to their daughter. Each person finds something of their selves in her, something often left in the past or unacknowledged in the present.

So far so good then, so why only three stars ? Well I found the end of the book a tremendous disappointment and rather baffling. I won't tell you what happens and spoil it for you, but I don't think the events in the last few chapters do justice to the rest of the book.
Speed Bowlers On Speed

"Pakistan cricket, already besieged by multiple controversies, has received another body blow with Shoaib Akhtar and Mohammad Asif, their leading new-ball bowlers, testing positive for the banned anabolic steroid Nandrolone during an internal dope test carried out by the Pakistan Cricket Board. They have been recalled to Pakistan and will miss the Champions Trophy."

Full story at Cricinfo.com

Update

Apparently, if the Pakistan Cricket Board hand out punishment to the two homeward bound players, this is likely to be far less than the two year ban that could have been imposed by the ICC had they been caught cheating by the ICC during the Champion's Trophy, hmmm, anybody smelling rodent ?

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Don't Panic

We were just this bad prior to the last Ashes series.

Dalrymple bowled well though.
Book Review : Tragically I Was An Only Twin - The Complete Peter Cook (Ed. William Cook)****



Peter Cook, comedy genius, writer, performer, star of stage, screen and LP, savior of Private Eye, partner of Dudley Moore, this is a collection of (not quite) all the collected writings on one of England's great comedians.

Whether you're a fan of Pete n' Dud, Derek and Clive, Sven the insomniac Norwegian fisherman or Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling, there are some treasures in here for you.

Cook's humour was quintessentially English, often based on class differences and the perceptions of difference, he used humour to have a go at the rich, stupid, working class, middle class, the religious, the pious, but often done in an abstract and surreal style that would inspire those other giants of British comedy the Monty Python team.

My personal favourite would be that failure of a man, Sir Arthur Streeb-Greebling, the man who spent half a lifetime trying to teach ravens to fly underwater, undertook a financially disastrous musical crickets tour and once had a job as Betty Grable's leg tugger (she had very short legs you see, they required daily tugging to keep them at a reasonable length for dancing).

Cook's star has waned somewhat in comparison to Python and other comic luminaries like the Two Ronnies and Morecombe and Wise, but if one of the numerous endless repeats channels on satellite tv should see fit to broadcast some Pete ' Dud, or maybe air the Twelve Days of Christmas, they are well worth looking out for, and if you can't see them, pick up the book.
Kilnsea Caravan Park

We were on the way to Spurn Point in the East Riding of Yorkshire last week when after a missed turn we ended up on a dead end road down to the beach at Kilnsea.



This is Sandy Beaches Caravan Park, fancy renting one ?



Some of the caravans, only feet from the eroding edge, still seemed to be occupied.







The sky is a bit washed out on this picture, at the left you can see the old drains jutting out of the soil, in the centre on top of the bank is an electricity connection point and just to the right of that is part of a concrete bed that a static caravan used to stand on.

I found a document detailing erosion on this part of the coast which contains these details.
Erosion within Sandy Beaches Caravan Park - records begun 1978
Average annual erosion - 4.25 metres
Erosion since 1978 - 104.1 metres

Given an average year's erosion, some of those caravans in the second photograph probably won't make it through the winter.