Sunday, July 31, 2005

Book Review : Monday Mourning - Kathy Reichs**

If you have read any of the other half dozen or Tempe Brennan novels you will be familiar with the ground that this novel travels, or digs up as the case may be. Rather too familiar I might add.

I have previously enjoyed Reichs' other books in this series, but this one just didn't do much for me. The plot has become formulaic and predictable, Tempe finds old body, tries for a while to persuade police that it is a murder victim, succeeds, and her on/off relationship with the ruggedly handsome policeman Ryan is doing nothing but boring me now. If you couldn't see the relationship 'plot twist' coming from when it is first mentioned in the book, it's time to go back to reading picture books I'm afraid.

If you really enjoyed the other Tempe novels, then you might like this as well. I think it will be the last one that I read though, Reichs has hit upon a winning formula in terms of sales, and it looks like she's going to stick rigidly to it.

A message from Murderers, Violent Psycopaths and Freelance Kneecappers Inc.

"We are announcing our intention to stop slaying men, women and children with nailbombs, pipe bombs and exploding cars, and to instead concentrate on our core activities of extortion, drug running, illegal red deisel, prostitution and stabbing people to death outside city centre pubs."

Various puppets being operated by the IRA said.."Now that Al-Queeda have knocked us off the the top of the terrorist premier league we might as well just rob banks instead."

Do you think the multi-millionaire violent crime lords of the (suddenly defunct) IRA might donate a few hundred thousand to stop people dying in Niger or Darfur ? No ? Didn't think so.

P.S. "We're not actually going to stop punishment beatings or kneecappings either, we see this as a legitimate business tactic"
My Penis And I

This was a documentary which introduced a gentleman who was at the back of the queue when todgers were handed out.

This poor soul made himself feel worse by watching well hung blokes in porn, seeing a strapping rugby team stripping for a nude calendar and trying a number of fairly unsuccessful treatments and appliances.

The crunch moment came when he managed to persuade his girlfriend of 8 years to appear on camera and asked her...."Do you wish I had a bigger penis ?"

After a long a squirm inducing pause, she replied...."Yes."

There you go guys, size is rather important after all.

Saturday, July 30, 2005

15 Strippers Arrested In Sting Operation

Shannon and Crystal may not be taking their arrest entirely seriously

Oddly, SFW
Fed Up With Pigeons Crapping On His Car ....

'Dead Eye' Ted McFlintlock takes a measure of revenge, better get the big casserole dish out.
Unfettered as Nature Intended....

....that's the women of Wanaka, New Zealand, who whip off their bra's at any opportunity and hang them on sheep fences.

Apparently there isn't a lot else to do in New Zealand. As always though, some small minded, or possibly breasted, person has got it into their head that Wanaka's premier, indeed only, tourist attraction, may be offending somebody, somewhere, maybe.

So a 'bra battle' has ensued, with persons unknown stealing the undergarments in the dead of night so that offence is not caused to the good folk of Wanaka. Wanaka City Council has had to erect special roadsigns so that young ladies of a certain build do not injure themselves after visiting the bra fence....

Ooh, it's yellow, no, it's blue, oh, they're both the same
We're moving house, we couldn't afford a removal van

(Pinched from Attu)
Wine Review - The Coppermine Road Cabernet Sauvignon '02, d'Arenberg*****

Open it up, pour a glass and let it breath a while and come alive. Have a good sniff, you can pick up dark cassis and a scent akin to pencil shavings or cigar boxes.

It is a big wine, 14.5% abv, massive in the mouth. There is an initial taste of oak, then lashings of super ripe cassis with hints of vanilla and liquorish at the end. It has a lovely mouth feel, masses of flavour with soft but balanced tannins.

I had this with a rich beef casserole, it would also go well with roast venison, game stew, rosemary roast lamb and char grilled steak. It's a big beast of a wine and will match up well with richly flavoured meat dishes.

Available from Oddbins for around £20, I don't normally spend this much on a bottle but my loving wife got me a bottle for my birthday. The Coppermine Road has received 22 months barrel aging before being bottled, and should improve if cellared.

Thursday, July 28, 2005

Because we all know what you really use the interwebnet for

(via Primate Journal)
Fan Pleasers....Jade Johnson

Here's one for the hundreds of Croatian sports fans who have hit the blog this week, the very wonderful Jade Johnson. Jade is currently ranked #7 in the world for the long jump, she is the British #1. Sadly she has struggled to maintain any form this year as she is suffering from a prolapsed disk, this has badly affected her run up and caused her to be disqualified with three consecutive no jumps at the European Indoor Championship.

Jade gets firmly behind the London Olympics bid.


Wednesday, July 27, 2005

In twisted genius response to We're Not comes I Am Fucking
One for the office workers, fancy maiming your colleagues with two rulers, a bic biro and some sellotape ?
I Said A Snakebite Please

Of all the strange requests, a lady from Bradford GC who were on their exchange day visit to us, came to the bar and said "There is a rather large spider in the ladies toilets, could you remove it ?" Wandering Nick was despatched with a pint glass and came back with this beastie.

That is the biggest spider I have ever seen over here, we let it go into the fields where it was later seen hunting sheep and growling at large dogs.

I hesitate to ask, but, captions ?
Body Design Fault

Most of my body seems adequately , or even well designed, to cope with a fiery Mexican dinner at Cocina . The chilli nachos is hpot and tasty, the enchiladas pleasing, hot and filling.

Everything working well so far.

The next morning though, on the throne, "Aargh, the pain, it burns, it burns."

Why is my bum so intolerant of last night's spicy repast ?
How Much ?!!!

Why are razor blades so outrageously expensive, a tiny scrap of plastic and metal sets you back about 90p, they must cost at least tuppence to make.

I wrote to Tesco last week to ask why they were advertising their strawberries as "Half Price £1.69 a punnet" on a big, bright yellow sticker. Now I'm sure that legally if you are going to advertise something as being half price, then it must have been at full price at some point, this isn't the case at Tesco.

Furthermore, strawberries are cheaper than the Tesco price at my greengrocers, so who do you think they are fooling ? It looks like blatant false advertising to me. Tesco have a card system where you write down your complaint or question, leave your name, phone number and address and ask to be contacted by phone or mail withing 36 hours or 1 week respectively. What really happens though is that you write down your complaint, then Tesco utterly ignores it.

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

Easy Skankin' Time

You all know that I'm first and foremost a punk and metalhead, but being a deeply eclectic type I also love reggae and ska.

This chap, Frederick Nathaniel Hibbert, picked the rather easier moniker Toots, formed himself a band, The Maytals, and went on to invent reggae and ska. Toots coined the word reggae as a cut down form of 'rock steady' which was what Jamaican musicians were calling their musical style at that time.

Toots was arrested and jailed for nine months on drugs charges, Toots claimed he was innocent and while he was in prison he wrote one of the best reggae/ska tracks of all time, "54-46 Was My Number."

It has the best bass line ever, dum dum d d dum dum dum d d dum, which has been copied for numerous other regga and dance tracks.

Go out now, today, and buy or borrow a Toots album, put 54-46 on and when that big bass line kicks in, you won't be able to stop yourself from smiling, give it a go, brighten your week a little, all together now.....

"I'm not a fool to hurt myself
So I was innocent of what they done to me
They was wrong
Listen to me, they were wrong

Give it to me one time
Give it to me two time
Give it to me three time
Give it to me four time

54-46 was my number..........."

Sunday, July 24, 2005

There, oh no, there then, or perhaps here, I just can't remember where Lithuania goes
I Predict A Riot

Looking at the levels of violence and general alcohol related thuggery in Ilkley town centre most weekends, I was wondering whether this is partly down to a lack of choice of drinking venues.

Since I was a regular pub drinker Ilkley has lost....

The Troutbeck
Stony Lea
Lister's Arms and nightclub
Wharfe Cottage
Wharfedale Gate
The Wheatley

It has gained, Escape. The Cow & Calf isn't really a drinkers place anymore so you could say that Ilkley has lost a net half dozen drinking holes. With a much wider choice of venues, various cliques could disperse themselves. The public bar of the C&C for example was often filled with a motley, but mostly friendly, assortmen of bikers and metalheads.

Now, everyone is packed into a few establishments in the centre of town, which all require security staff to deal with the incresed amounts of tension and violence.

I'm not saying that the drinking days of my youth were some sort of beautiful, halcyon time when man did no harm to his fellow inebriate. There were always problems, but Ilkley didn't seem as rough as it is now.

One Friday evening whilst driving my waiting staff home we witnessed no less than four seperate violent incidents between the Mallard and the train station. What has our beautiful town become on a weekend night ? A lager sponsored boxing ring apparently.

Johnson's is applying for a 6am licence, Tesco for similar (and I thought part of the reason they shut down 24 hour opening the first time was the amount of pushy, obnoxious drunks wandering in after chucking out time ?). Are either of these licences likely to help the situation ? The Tesco application in particular seems a bad idea, I would imagine that the vast majority of it's extra hours customers will be pretty well booze filled before they get there.

Oddly, I scribbled my list of lost watering holes earlier, before I found Bertie's link to the Ilkley Against CCTV Blog . I don't know if I am for or against CCTV. Maybe if Ilkley's numerous doormen did something other than standing and watching as their tanked up customers beat each other up on the pavement the town would be a nicer place at night.

Oh fuck, fuck and fuckit, what the fucking hell was that ?

I don't mind if Glenn McGrath unleashes one of the best spells of bowling of his career, which he did, or that Fatboy continues to spin and bamboozle, or even Brett fucking Lee sends down some frighteningly fast balls, I don't, that's the nature of the game.

What I do mind though is the rabbit in the headlights stance taken by our entire upper order, and by the way half our players threw their bloody wickets away.

Geraint Jones - still the happy hooker, won't he ever learn ?

Flintoff / Vaughan - if you leave a bloody big gap twixt bat and pad then nasty McGrath will bowl you, OK ?

Harmison / S Jones - if the ball is passing by a good foot clear of the stumps, then don't hang the bloody bat out at it, muppets.

Ashley Giles - They already have the Primary Club for those poor souls whose entire innings consists of but a single ball, but what shall we have for poor Giles, caught behind and trod on wicket at the same time, and the caught behind he was chasing yet another ball that DIDN'T NEED FUCKING HITTING!!

I'm taking nothing away frm Australia here, McGrath and Warne were superb, Lee and Gillespie providing decent back up. Our bowling was good in patches, but with the exception of Pieterson, our batting was a shambles. Well done Australia, worthy winners of the first Ashes test, on to Edgbaston then.....

In slightly better cricket news, Yorkshire beat Leicestershire with a ton from local boy Joe Sayers and are back at 2nd in the division and only a handful of points off top spot.

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I Love Glenn McGrath

Or rather, I love Glenn McGrath's attitude. "It won't take much to get on top of England," he said. "I can't see any situation other than a 5-0 win." This is great, Australia are the world's #1 cricket side and have been for absolutely ages, they play an exciting and aggressive game, and they talk themselves up excessively beforehand.

I'm all for this. Montgomerie was never going to win the Open on Sunday, the reason for this is that he managed to convince himself that it couldn't be done. In numerous interviews on Saturday evening and Sunday morning he kept saying that no-one had ever managed to make up four shots on Tiger Woods on the last day of a tournament. Bingo, by the time he teed off he had it fixed in his own mind that Colin Montgomerie could not make up four shots on Tiger, and so of course he didn't.

The Australians cricketers have been telling us for years that they are going to win matches, and then they do. Of course they have to have the ability, which they do, but the right mental attitude is hugely important.

Witness our whinging football team, nasal whining David Beckham gets up to the microphone and says "We're going to do our best today, we're going to try really hard," then they get someone sent off and lose to Germany in the penalties. England have a great football side at the moment, and if they can get the mental attitude of the Australian cricket side/any boxer in the world, then they'll come back with a trophy.

It isn't always the done thing in England to talk yourself up too much, but is shouldn't be seen as boasting, it is mental imprinting. If you can convince yourself that you are going to win then you have a much better chance of actually winning, and vice versa.

Australia talk themselves up just like boxers, they build themselves up and put their opponents down. This is what England should be doing, build themselves up, pick out some weaknesses (real or imagined) in the Australian team and have a go at them, it isn't boasting, it's getting your attitude to the same place as your playing ability.

We all know that Vaughan has a winner's attitude in the changing rooms, he has worked wonders with a much improved England side since the start of his captaincy, but he needs to show that killer attitude on the field a bit more. Don't let the lads go quiet in the outfield, keep them chattering away. Jack Russell was a star for England even when the chips were down, he was constantly nattering away behind the stumps, talking to the batsmen and fielders, trying to keep the fielding side positive and batters unnerved, this is what we need.

Australia know they are in for a rougher ride this time around, you can tell by the way they have stepped up their pre-Ashes war of words. I can't remember an Ashes series when Australia were so positive about their chances and went to such pains to pick fault with England. This is because they know that England can challenge properly this time around, so it is imperative that they sow the seeds of self doubt in English minds before the series starts. Australia know that if England get their mental attitude right, they will be every bit as good as Australia. They know it, they're worried about it, so they've gone to work on it.

Let's get rid of a bit of traditional English reserve here, let's have the lads saying outright that they are going to win, if they get it in their heads that they can win, then they can win.

Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Invading Germany 2006

R5Live was running a few articles over the weekend on the forthcoming World Cup in Germany, mentioning plans to keep fans happy and peaceable by being nice to them. In my experience this won't be hard for the German people, they are wonderfully warm and open folk if you take the effort to get to know them.

If you're over in Germany for the World Cup next year and you have a few days to spare, my advice would be to get yourself over to Trier, or any part of the stunningly beautiful Mosel valley, ask the locals where the best place to eat is, call in at a few vineyards and buy some bottles, you'll have a great time.

Picturesque Piesporter, and the seemingly endless miles of vines.

Harvest Festival in Trier.

Ready for picking.
Trouble for Shane Warne Ahead Of The Ashes.... one of his 'conquests' catches up with him. He'll be needing the 'Snugfit Box for Smaller Boys' when batting then.
Harry Potter and The Sacks Full Of Cash

Although I'm not all that keen on the Harry Potter books myself, I think it is absolutely fantastic that a novel can stir up the kind of excitement usually seen only at gigs and big movie openings.

Well done once again J K Rowling, I hope that the kids (and adults) buying this book use it as a springboard to launch themselves further into the world of literature.

Let's hope that the Potter publishing phenomenon becomes more commonplace, in particular, let's see lines of people waiting outside bookshops at midnight in a few years time to buy Hoop, the first installment in the Hoop Arrangement by Mike Jarvis. Advance copies available by sending me a used tenner to the usual address.
Yorkshire Skies

The moon rises over Ilkley Moor as the sun sets beyond Addingham, taken last Friday the 15th of July.

Monday, July 18, 2005

How Much ?!!!!!

Lucky (but now poor) bugger Fraser over at Blogjam has wined and dined at the esteemed Fat Duck in Bray, pop over and read his review.
My favourite posts from Were Not

Go visit them, look back a couple of posts for the link.

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Three quarters of the Big Red Boys being Not Afraid.
Another one for the ladies .

What do you think girls, attractive ? Sexy ? Laughable ?

It's all NSFW at the 18+ YSoul today.
I'm still looking at a number of options for new staff uniforms,some of these took my eye, and to fit in with the catering theme they have even called them Cooking Phat. (NSFW)

How about the Awechasm ? Or the Leather Moggie ? Hang on, there's a knocking at my door, that'll be a mob of angry parents then.
This link's for James..... Dog Condoms .

James works at a kennels, and much as miners may suffer vibration white finger, and typists get repetetive strain injury, kennel workers suffer from a strange malady which manifests in hopping on one leg and violently shaking the other in the air while shouting "Gerrof yer bugger."

I expect damages claims for "Shaggers leg" to start pouring in, or should that be "Shagees leg" ?
Ladies, if you're so proud of your fantastic pregnant belly, now you can keep it for ever by munching 5 big macs a day by using the Proud Belly Pregnancy Belly Cast Kit .

Iain Paisley always said the Pope was the anti-Christ.

That's the burning question. I have no idea what's going on here.

Libby, how's the foot ? My Libby managed to pour boiling coffee over her feet instead of into a mug, not at work I hasten to add. Libby is a very talented sprinter, and if she can overcome her scalded foot and slight unwillingness to comply with her coaches wishes, she might just be a Yorkshiresoul Sporting Babe come the next Olympics, go Libby.

Chefette enjoys another night out at Ilkley's infamous Il Trav, love the boots!

Thursday, July 14, 2005

I Don't Want To Be Just Like Anyone Else.... old Mazza Manson says.

I drove past the condemned Il Trav nightclub and I was remembering the time in my life when I thought it was important to fit in, when I felt pressured to get along with people, be like other people, dress the same, like the same things, go and get pissed in the Trav on a Friday night.

And then I thought, fuck it, this isn't making me happy. So I had my hair cut into a floppy one sided new romantic thing and took to wearing shirts with frills. Then I got a mohican, shredded and bleached my best jeans (much to Mum's dismay) and took a razor to a few of my t-shirts, add a few studded leather wristbands, a bondage belt I could hardly walk in and some seriously tall leather boots and I was happier.

There was a strange 'look at me, don't look at me' thing to being punk, or in any way different. I didn't have long hair, big boots and an embroidered jacket for your attention, it was all for my own happiness. I never fitted in with the cool kids, and trying to do so was making me unhappy as a teenager.

Nobody wants to suffer teasing or outright bullying at school, and the things that kids give each other grief over makes me wince now as an adult, and I wasn't quite bottom of the pecking order so I've inflicted some pain in my time. It could be that your drainpipe trousers weren't quite narrow enough, you didn't have the current cool brand of shoes or you hadn't bought the last big thing pop record.

In a sociology class we were each asked what the last few records were that we had bought, my list ran to St. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band, Magnum, Thin Lizzy, Girl, The Beach Boys and the Sex Pistols. Apart from the Pistols then, I was already miles out of touch with my classmates, kids being kids even the group's other punk, Colin, scorned me for having bought the Beatles and Beach Boys. Pretty much everyone else had a record collection that ran like a current top ten. The same sort of thing happened when we were asked to list our favourite sports, films, tv programmes etc. I wasn't fitting in, at the time when you most need some measure of respect, or at least acceptance, from your peers.

After leaving school I fell in with some new groups of friends, those from Scouts, from a games club I started, and from college. I don't really have any school friends bar one, and I certainly do not look back on my schooldays as 'the happiest time of my life' as some folk say.

I'm fairly content now, I'm happily married, happy enough in my job. I don't have loads and loads of friends, but I love the ones I have.

But I still don't want to fit in. I don't know where this core of awkwardness comes from, but it's there, deep seated and immovable. Eccentricity, strangeness and individuality I like, conformity I flirt with.

Mr Manson can finish this one.....

"I woke up today and wished for tomorrow
I don't want to be like anyone else
I woke up today and wished for tomorrow
I don't want even be myself

I said no, this isn't your song
We can't all get along
It's too hard to hold hands when your hands are fists
My hate pop won't ever stop
I'm fucking glad we're different "

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

The Rudeness Of Vegetarians

It's a fairly typical working night, a set meal for 24 that has been booked some weeks in advance, as the party move from the bar into the dining room a chap knocks on the kitchen door and says "I didn't tell you earlier, but I'm a vegan."


So with thirty seconds before the chicken liver pate goes on the table, I'm supposed to run around and try to find a bloody vegan starter, main course and pudding. Thanks for the notice, idiot.

I'm mentioning this because vegetarians do this all the time, they seem to have no manners (excepting Pierre and Biddy, who always give me plenty of notice). Other people who have specialist dietary requirements always give advance notice. People who require gluten free, or dairy free meals tend not to leave it to chance that they won't get fed, they ring days in advance and make sure the chef is aware of what they need.

But vegetarians though. I've lost count of the times I have been stood at the carvery, carving succulent slices of rare beef when some pasty faced carrot nibbler says "What's the vegetarian option then ?".

The vegetarian option mate is that you are going hungry because my choice now is either stop service for the other 80 people in your party because you were too rude to inform me of your requirements, or to give you an empty plate and let you help yourself to the vegetables, but don't put any gravy on them because I've deglazed the roasting pan into it.

What seems worse is that they ask their question with a big smile on their faces, as if I should have seen their coming in the stars and got a seperate meal ready for them. Now if I have some notice, you will get looked after, much like the celiacs and the dairy allergy folks, but tell me at the last moment and you seriously can't expect much.

Why are vegetarians so rude ? Do you get a little handbook that instructs you to try and piss off the normal parts of society ? If you are attending a set dinner then you must make your own arrangements with the establishment beforehand, chefs are not going to make up a pile of vegetarian dishes just on the off chance and then bin them if a handful of veggies don't turn up.
All together Now....

Brother in law Mk.1 Kevin gets utterly non-PC at China Red.

Cheryl and father in law Brian.

Lil' sister Squirt, and P (sporting rather Chavvy earring).

Mrs YS.

Mum in law Kath, brother in law mk.2 Andy, YS.

YS and Dad, daft as brushes both. Mrs YS was heard to say, "Now I know where you get it from." She's right, this is the man who can't drive past a cemetary without saying "Look Mike, it's the dead centre of......."

I don't look pissed at all in this one do I ?

Subtle ? No, but not incorrect either.

Oh no! Porn!

My 38th birthday dinner, thanks for coming folks.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

There is something a little bit freaky about the bloke with the cowbell.
New Boys First Day

Yesterday was newbie Steven's first proper day in the kitchen, and he did well.

Risotto of asparagus, parmesan, celery and peas topped with grilled chicken marinated in olive oil and tarragon, as served for the Ilkley Ladies team match, followed by......

Lemon tart with creme fraiche, strawberries and cantaloupe melon, which was so good that we ate most of it before I remembered to take a picture.

For the lemon tart filling I always use Dominique Nahmias' recipe from Larousse...

3 eggs
100g sugar
80g butter
5 lemons

Zest and juice the lemons, combine the zest, juice, butter and sugar and warm until the butter is melted and the sugar dissolved, allow to cool a little.

Beat the eggs then pour them in all at once, stirring rapidly, return to the heat and stir gently until the mix has achieved a coating consistency, pour the mix into your blind baked tart case and bake in a hot oven for about 10 minutes.

It is really simple, very easy to make and intensely lemony.
It's My Precious

It's mine, all mine I tell you!

I don't know if it is possible to become addicted to a particular type of food, but if it is, then here is my addiction, a seriously big chunk of Parmesan cheese.

It's not for the customers, ok, it's for me.
We're All Paedophiles Now

Mrs YS joined P&C, JR&C and the children for an afternoon at Ilkley Lido yesterday, after which I met up with everyone for a picnic and cricket. Mrs YS reports that the Political Correctness Nazi's at the pool were stopping parents from photographing their offspring on the offchance that one of them might be a lurking pedophile intent on catching pics of toddlers in their skivvies.

I'm really concerned over where all this is going, already we have schools, scout groups, pools and gyms not allowing photography or video use, where will this madness spread to next ? A day at the beach ? Playing in the park ? A walk on the moors ? Your own front garden, just in case you accidentally get a picture of a small child walking down the road ?

Last year at my Godson's nativity play, the school decided wisely to allow parents, uncles and aunts, Godparents and family friends to take as many pictures or videos as they wanted, and rightly so. These are the golden moments of your children's lives, bumbling their way through their lines at the school play, giggling and running around at the outdoor pool, playing and being children and enjoying life.

Maybe you are blessed with a photographic memory and can remember every moment of your children's lives, but I think most people like photographs, they take pictures to keep for themselves and to show to friends and family. Most people like looking at photo's of children they know, children are charming, dirty, rude, lovely, sweet, funny, sad, but they're not boring, we all love children.

It seems to me that the few bad apples in society want something a little more serious than blurry photo's of young Johnny in his swimming trunks, and anyway, put 'children swimming' into Google images and you get 10,200 pictures, enter 'child' and you get 920,000 pictures, type in 'children' and you have 1.5 million photo's to feed your perversion if that's your thing. Photo's of small children in various states of undress are not hard to find.

I agree that child protection is a valuable and important thing, children are vulnerable, they can be preyed upon by paedophiles. At work we have had to put a notice up in the showers that says 'Child Protection, adults should not use the showers when juniors are present'. Do they have these same notices at Ilkley Lido ? How is that supposed to work anyway ? When I have taken my Godchildren swimming, they both come and get changed with me, well it's either that or leave a three year old girl on her own in the women's changing room, apparently these days that's the correct thing to do.

We went swimming at school and got changed with the teachers, we went swimming all the time in the holidays and got undressed in the communal area with older blokes. I was a cub, scout and venture scout, I have had to get out of wet hiking kit in scout huts, in tents and in the back of scout leaders cars whilst the leader got changed next to me or in the front seat, tens of times, dozens of times, hundreds of times. Do you know how many times sexually deviant adults tried to take photo's of me naked or molest me ? Never, not once, not ever.

We all know that there are a few really bad people out there, people who want to harm your children, but as with message sent out by the British after the London bombing we have to stand up and say we are not afraid, we are not going to let the few change for the worse the lives of the majority.

If you want to take pictures of your children, you do it, they're only going to be this age once, there will only be one moment when you can take that picture of little Robert with a plastic bucket on his head, or baby Jess running round naked screaming with pure, unfettered joy.

I have a picture in my hall of my three brothers in law, Andy, Rob And Chris, all naked in the bath together when they were aged 2, 1 and some months. It's cute, funny and charming, it brings a smile to the face of everyone who sees it. The vast majority of us are not paedophiles, please don't treat us as such.

Sunday, July 10, 2005

(From the excellent Primate Journal )

So we briefly celebrated on Wednesday and were looking forward to a certain amount of gloating, especially over one Mr. Chirac, and then the terrorists struck.

Personally, I think our police and intelligence services do a terrific job, it's just not possible though to weed out every possible attack before it happens. Maybe there will be lessons that can be learned from this, but if we want our free and open society then there is a certain level of risk we are going to have to accept.

London's emergency services rose to their task with admirable professionalism and resolve, well done to everyone who did their allotted job under extreme circumstances.

Amidst the horror and misery of Thursday there was one small bright point, England thrashed the hapless Oz team by 9 wickets, well done boys.

Yesterday was Captain's Day here at IGC. Mrs YS and myself were on the course all day running a barbeque and bar, then up to the clubhouse in the evening to prepare dinner for 60.
The weather was perfect, much Krombacher was downed, I served hundreds upon hundreds of sausages, burgers and kebabs and a good day was had by all.

Congratulations are due to young Henry Flather who played a majestic round of golf and equaled the course record for Ilkley, and well done (and good luck today) to Mark Buckley from Ilkley Golf Club who is playing the final qualifying event for the Open.

I had decided to let Chefette have the night off last night as she had got all the dinner prep done, 10 minutes after she left, waitress Libby hobbles in with her foot in a huge bandage because she's dropped a pot of scalding coffee on herself at home, so she had to be sent home as well. Thanks and well done therefore to Ros, Robyn and Sarah for getting the evening service done shorthanded.

Captain's Day = The Longest Day, started work 6am Saturday, finished 1.30am Sunday morning, thankfully today looks quiet.

Friday, July 08, 2005

We should have been celebrating.

London survived the Nazi Blitz, it came through the numerous atrocities commited by the cowardly IRA, and it will survive the foul murders done by Al-Qaeda.

We won't turn against the Muslim parts of our community, or the Sikhs, or the Hindu's, or the Poles or Australians or Americans or French or Germans or anyone else who has become part of Britain's rich, welcoming and vibrant culture.

You won't ever win.

You only have hate.

We have hope and love, and they conquer all in the end.

Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Dear Finland,

Thanks for your two votes, bon appetit!

(as heard on R5 this afternoon)
Oi Chirac, Your Boys Took One Hell Of A Beating

London gets the 2012 Olympic Games, I'm stunned, it is absolutely fantastic though. I must admit to having had a small chuckle at the TV pics of thousands of Parisiennes booing at the result.

Well done to the London bid team, has Kriss Akabusi come down from the ceiling yet ?
Hire 'Em, Fire 'Em

Bad news guys, Chefette Rebecca is leaving! Oh no! She's off to become a nurse, it's time to get private medical insurance then. Only a few short weeks of her giggly madness and then we'll have a new underling.

Luckily I have found a new victim trainee already.....

Some eye candy for the ladeez for a change. Say hello to Steven, he is (hopefully) going to be my right hand man for a year before he goes off to university, and I promise not to mention the Thai ladyboy incident Steven, oh bugger.