Thursday, March 31, 2005

Captions ?
It is safe for work, but after looking deeply into the Hoff's eyes you might find youself unable to look away from the monitor, there is something oddly hypnotic about Tidal Dave .

The Dublin Spire, it's so bloody big I couldn't get it all in picture without it looking like a photo of a knitting needle, it is very impressive, and the top, sadly just out of shot, lights up at night.

Part of the Daniel O'Connel statue at the bottom of Connolly Street.

Trinity College, home to the Book Of Kells, a must see when in Dublin.

Dublin pubs, you'll find a pub roughly every third building, and most of them appear to be really brightly painted, especially here in the Temple Bar district.

I've forgotten to take notes about this one, a monument to those imprisoned by the British ?

Molly Malone, fresh out of apples but she still has a nice pear, sorry, can't help myself.

Dublin's most exclusive shopping district.

Goods being delivered in the street markets.

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Vote Yorkshire Soul

After grumbling on a few weeks ago about how I couldn't find a political party to suit my current personal political preferences, I think I'll just start my own. Here then are my manifesto pledges, vote Y soul, you know it makes sense, of a sort.

Wipe Out 3rd World Debt
Ethically, morally we cannot continue to make vast profits from the poorest people in the world. The shameful truth is that millions have suffered and died across the 3rd world so that we can make a few millions profit on interest payments. The Y Soul Party will aim to cancel 3rd World debt.

Changes to Corporate Responsibility Laws
Two major changes are planned here, firstly, CEO's/MD's wages and bonuses must be linked to company profits. Directors will not be allowed to bring companies to the brink of financial ruin and still walk away with a vast golden goodbye.

Secondly, the people running the company must be made responsible for the actions of the company. Perhaps people might think twice about signing on for their 23rd city directorship if they know they will be prosecuted when their shoddy rail network collapses and kills people.

Repeal the Hunting Ban
It was a nasty and vindictive bit of revenge legislation.

Abolish Inheritance Tax
You made your money, you got taxed on your money while you made it, you got taxed on the vast majority of your savings and investments, this money has already been taxed numerous times, now you will be able to pass it on to your children tax free.

Changes to the Legal System
Under the Y Soul government, you won't be able to buy the law. We have to act rapidly before our legal system becomes as obviously shallow and corrupt as the US system. Y Soul will introduce a flat wage system for Lawyers, solicitors and Barristers, nobody in the legal system will receive bonus payments.

Introduction of Pet licenses
Dog licenses will be re-introduced to help pay for dog wardens and street cleaning. The scourge of UK birdlife, the 'domestic' cat will have to be licensed with money raised being used to support the RSPB and similar charities.

Energy Policy
This country does not have one, it is a shambles. In the not too distant future (30-50 years perhaps) the fossil fuels will start to run out, we will face a calamitous situation if we do not start doing something right now.

It is time to bite the bullet, we will begin building large scale nuclear power stations to service Britain's future power needs.

Under the Y Soul government, the BBC will keep the license fee, but it must drop large parts of it's cheap/populist programming (the whole swath of house selling / decorating / gardening / auction programmes) and replace them with more worthy subjects.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Have you made plans for the attack of the killer zombies ?

Well have you ? Waitress/chefette Rachel was telling me that she had watched 28 Days Later (but apparently had not found it as pants wettingly scary as I did) and the film had caused her to put some thought into what she would do in the event of Ilkley society being turned into a horde of bleeding eyed murderous undead.

I was quite happily surprised at Rachel's admission, prior to this I thought that I was the only person loopy enough to have put serious thought into planning for the zombie apocalypse. The other waitress on duty, Robyn, was by now staring at the pair us aghast and saying things like "Why are you talking like this ? Have you gone mad ?".

"No," I replied. "We are the organised ones, when the undead swarm arrives we'll know what to do, you'll just have to run away screaming."

Actually, the running away screaming bit figures quite heavily in my plans as well.

It turns out that Rachel's plan to survive the undead end of the world scenario involves breaking into the golf club and stealing all my tinned food, the little bugger! My own plans were more along the lines of getting my hiking boots on, packing my big rucksack with all the dried food I can fit in and heading for the hills.

Rachel also thought the club kitchen would be a handy source of weapons to use on the zombies, I'm not so sure. A 12" serrated ham knife may look fairly dangerous if you waft it in the direction of your own fingers, but it really lacks the weight required for decapitating flesh hungry undead. Thus, when Rachel arrives, she will find that I have already removed the large Chinese style cleaver for my own protection and she will have to fight off the zombies with a selection of paring knives and apple corers.

Anyway, come the zombie apocalypse, it looks like me and Rachel are going to survive, we are organised, we have plans, we're really sorry that the rest of you are going to spend eternity as mindless, shuffling automatons, or Ikea customers.

Monday, March 28, 2005

This is what we need at Leeds , sod signing any more players, just get some bloke in tank to shoot the opposition.
But Is It Art ?

Last week, British alt art/street artist Banksy sneaked into four of New York's top museums and placed pieces of his own art on the walls, including the excellent bug picture above which he put up at the Museum of Natural History.

More on the New York story here at Wooster Collective.

Check out Banksy's past work on his own website.

Do have a look around, Banksy's art is almost always provocative, interesting and challenging.

Friday, March 25, 2005

The Vocabulary Enhancer

I found this site whilst wandering the interwebnet, it claims be be useful in aiding students to enhance their language skills, but after reading a few entries I found the definitions to a a bit thin, or wooly, or slightly misleading, or in some cases all three. Have a look, see what you think.
Restaurant Review - Shack Restaurant, Temple Bar, Dublin****

We booked a table here earlier in the day, good job too because the restaurant is packed. The service is not slow though, we get a jug of iced water right away and a young waiter soon arrives to take our order.

I always try to follow a 'When In Rome' maxim, especially at the start of a trip, so I opted for Irish smoked salmon and then a traditional meal of bacon and cabbage. Mrs YS had mussels in garlic and cream sauce then king prawns 'Shack' style with tomatoes, wine and cream.

The smoked salmon was succulent and tender and came with some excellent home made walnut and raisin bread, I was disappointed though that we were not given any other bread, despite having side plates and butter on the table. An oversight ? Or was it a chargeable extra ? Some bread would have been good for Mrs YS to mop up the sauce, I tried a mussel, they were good, tender and juicy.

Having tried the Irish national drink last night, and not really enjoyed it, I went for a bottle of sherry strength Amarone tonight. It was at the upper end of the wine list, but having seen some wines I knew (Ozzy cabernets and some riojas) presented at fairly reasonable prices I thought I might be in for a treat, I wasn't wrong. The Amarone was at perfect temperature, big in the mouth, filled with ripe, rich flavours.

My main course was three generous slices of boiled bacon loin, on a heap of buttered cabbage, with parsley sauce over the top, as if this mighty pile of stuff wasn't enough I was served with and individual dish of carrot batons and broccoli and some garlic and cheese potatoes. The bacon was good, not too salty and complemented well by the spring cabbage and sauce. Mrs YS pronounced her prawns to be excellent.

For dessert I chose a cheese plate, four different cheeses, plenty of biscuits and a heap of salad. Mys YS had a chocolate 'cake', four pieces of dense, rich, chocolate brownie with whipped cream and apricot coulis.

Service was pretty good considering that the restaurant was full (and people were queuing to get in), the total bill for 3 courses each, plus one soft drink and one coffee came to a touch over 120 euros, but 52 euros of that was the Amarone, I think this is pretty good value for a good restaurant in the trendy district of a capitol city. The menu is fairly extensive and contains fish, pasta and a fair assortment of world foods alongside the Irish specialties. If you are visiting Dublin, give it a try.

Shack Restaurant, Dublin
Dry on the outside, sadly dry on the inside.

It is Good Friday, last night the Irish, as well as a goodly/motley assortment of other Celts were reveling in the streets, getting outside of as much Guinness as they could and generally having a good and boisterous time.

Today though, Dublin is dry, bugger. It's not as if I really need any more booze after last night though, a bottle of Amarone followed by a few pints and a whisky or two should have been enough. Surely they'll let me have a vino with dinner tonight ?

We ate at a nice restaurant in the Temple Bar district called The Shack, very enjoyable. We are struggling for somewhere to eat tonight though, I had compiled a shortlist of traditional Irish restaurants that I wanted to try and they all all shut on Good Friday, something I should have considered when we booked our trip.

We spent this morning on a bus trip around the city, it is rather a beautiful place, lots of stunning Georgian architecture, mightily impressive buildings, The Bank Of Ireland and the Post Office are both fantastic and a few monuments.

I like the self deprecating Irish humour, as we passed the statue of Molly Malone some wit called out "It's the tart with the cart" and similarly the light spire on Connolly Street was dubbed the Rod To God, or even the Stilleto In The Ghetto.

I have been really impressed with Dublin, the city itself is wonderful and has many attractive buildings and great little pubs. There is a smoking ban here now so every pub and restaurant has a little huddle of smokers outside. I wouldn't say that the Irish are either as laid back or as madly friendly as you might imagine, especially given the reputation that the media likes to build up about them, that isn't to say that they are uptight and rude though, not at all, but Dublin is a busy capitol and its inhabitants seem much the same as the citizens of Paris, Rome or New York.

So far, I have really enjoyed our visit, the flights with Ryanair were pretty cheap, our hotel, the North Star is fairly good and there is loads to see and do within the city. On the coach tour today you could the hills and mountains beyond the city, I might have to come back another time and bring my hiking boots.

Thursday, March 24, 2005

"You must try the Guinness in Ireland........

it tastes completely different."

So people kept telling me, after some consideration, I think these were people who don't usually drink Guinness anyway, and nor do I. So last night, after our arrival in a torrential rain shower that was trying to wash Dublin away down the Liffy, I retired to a drinking establsihment and ordered a pint of the black stuff.

I don't drink Guinness at home because having a couple of pints feels like having a four course dinner, with stodgy roly poly pudding and cheese board. Never the less, when in Rome and all that. I purchased my pint of black liquid and carried it back to a seat, Mrs YS proceeded to draw a happy face in the froth despite my protestations that a shamrock would be more in order.

After a few moments contemplation I raised the cool glass to my lips, got half a pint of froth entangled in my moustache, and drank deeply of the lifeblood of the Irish. And do you know what ? All those wise people who told me I would love a pint of stout on its home turf ? They were wrong, every last one of them, if you don't like Guinness in Yorkshire, you won't like it in Dublin.

Sorry about that, another myth shattered.

The Irish can rustle up a proper breakfast though, 2-3,000 calories mostly made up from high cholestrol meaty goodness, salty bacon, black pudding, white pudding, sausages, fried bread. There was a muesli bar being picked over by a rather anorexic teenager but I stayed well clear.

We spent the morning wandering around central Dublin, around Temple Bar and along the Liffy. I like to get a bit of culture on my trips abroad so we stopped off at Trinity University to see the Book Of Kells. If you come to Dublin you must see this, if only for the fact that 185 calves were slaughtered to make its pages. The scriptwork, calligraphy and artwork are nothing short of magical and there is a further treat for bookish types as you get to wander through the barrel vaulted Long Room Library as well.

We have booked a table at a nice looking restaurant in Temple Bar for this evening, I'm looing forward to a traditional Irish feast of boiled bacon, buttered cabbage and parsley sauce, and maybe even another pint of the black stuff, you never know, it might grow on me.

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Bored, what you gonna do ? Put a firework in a plastic water bottle and blow it up, film it with a super slo-mo camera
BBC defends 'Aggresive Interviewing'

Following Jeremy Paxman's suggestion that John Reid is an 'attack dog' the BBC has had to defend more of its interviewers against charges of aggresive interviewing.

John Humpreys was accused by a House of Lords Select Committee of 'failing to treat politicians with sufficient respect.'

Nicky Campbell was chastised when he lost his famed Gaelic insou'ciance and began shouting "Just give them their fucking money back" at the chairman of a double glazing firm on Watchdog.

Perhaps the most shocking incident came when Christopher Martin-Jenkins rammed a vaseline coated cricket bat up Matiah Murilitheran's arse and shouted "Now let's see you bowl an off break you rubber armed chucker."
BBC accused of 'Dumbing down' in Africa TV Week, programming 'Not populist' says the Beeb

Can you guess which of these 'not dumbed down' programmes the BBC are actually going to show during Africa TV Week, and which ones I have just made up for a cheap laugh ?

Grange Hill - two Somali brothers arrive at the school and become the target of anti-immigrant bullies.

Strictly African Come Dancing - various luvvies of African descent strut their stuff with African dance troupes.

DIY SOS - the team upgrade a hostel being used by Zimbabwean asylum seekers.

Ground Force - Charlie and Tommy re-arrange some unsuspecting black person's garden and expect them to be bloody grateful for it.

Ready, Steady, Cook - featuring more celebrities of African descent and Ainsley Harriot, a man no continent wishes to claim as it's own.

Rolf on African Art - Rolf inflicts himself on decent, hardworking African artists.

Rolf's African Animal Hospital - In a scene not for children, but enjoyed by adults everywhere, Rolf gets eaten by a lion.

Holby City - Dr Ric volunteers to work in a hospital in his native Ghana.

Weakest Link - any black celebrity not featured on anything else, no matter how minor, or even if you have never heard of them at all, get their intelligence / dress sense / hair / racial origins roundly abused by a past middle age white woman.

Ok then, the 'not populist' programmes that the BBC will be showing are....

Strictly African Come Dancing

Ground Force

Rolf On African Art

Holby City
Kitchen Airplay......or what the staff are having to suffer this week

1) Out/Definition - Mad Capsule Markets (Oscillator In Distortion)

2) Judas Rising - Judas Priest (Angel of Retribution)

3) Live for This - Hatebreed (The Rise Of Brutality)

4) Infernal Dance Of Kashchei's Subjects - Stravinsky (The Firebird)

5) It Takes More - Ms Dynamite (A Little Deeper)

6) Miranda That Ghost Just Isn't Holy Any More - The Mars Volta (Frances The Mute)

7) Kick The Chair - Megadeth (The System Has Failed)

8) Special Brew - Bad Manners (Rude Boy Revival compilation)

9) Stockholme Syndrome - Muse (Absolution)

10) The Fight Song - Marilyn Manson (Holywood)

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Book review : Killing Pablo - Mark Bowden****

Pablo Escobar was the richest and most powerful drug baron in Columbia. At the height of his infamy the legal and judicial system collapsed when he ordered so many judges murdered that the rest refused to prosecute cases against him and his allies.

He was a terrifying man, anyone who opposed him, or even criticised him, was gunned down by the sicarios, Escobar's small army of paid assassins. When he ordered the bombing of a civilian aeroplane in order to kill a presidential candidate, the USA got involved.

This book tells the story of Escobar's life and of the years long hunt conducted by the Columbian and US governments in order to catch him. You'll find yourself shaking your head in disbelief when Escobar 'surrenders' and is allowed to live in a 'prison' that he built himself, and then eventually 'escapes' from.

With Escobar on the run for the second time, the hunt for him changed tactics. The US no longer wanted him captured as they didn't trust the Columbians to hold him, they wanted him dead. The USA spent millions of dollars on the hunt, sending specialist CIA and army units such as Centra Spike and Delta Force to search for him.

The co-operation between the two sides always seems strained, and with the advent of the anti-Escobar punishment squads dubbing themselves Los Pepes it is perhaps surprising that President Clinton (and Bush before him) didn't receive more criticism for the actions in Columbia. To me anyway, US trained killers acting on US information to murder hundreds of people seems more important than whether or not he got a blowjob from a staffer.

It is a fascinating book, Bowden seems to have had access to many of the most important players on the government and law enforcement sides, and he is the type of writer who is able to translate this information into an accessible and enjoyable read.

Get Killing Pablo for free from Bookcrossing
Book review : Transit - Edmund Cooper***

I quite enjoyed this, it is certainly an easy read.

Richard Avery is a failed artist, he is moping around, achieving very little when he is whisked off to a strange prison by unseen aliens. After meeting other prisoners and answering hundreds of questions they are all dumped on a seemingly idyllic tropical island.

Life continues, the four people, two men and two women, pair up, the girls get pregnant, then they discover the golden haired, and violent 'others'.

It is fairly standard 60's SF with a duex ex machina that will surprise nobody, but pleasant enough to while away a couple of hours with.

You can get this book, and hundreds more, free from Bookcrossing

Friday, March 18, 2005

Captions ?
A Conversation.

The phone rings, it is answered.

Robyn - "Hello."

YS - "Hello Robyn."

Robyn - "Hello YS."

I wait a moment, she must realise why I'm calling - "Yes hello Robyn."

Robyn, sounding bright and unaware - "Hello YS."

YS - "Robyn, why am I speaking to you on the telephone ?"

Robyn, sounding happy and clueless - "Because you phoned me."

YS - "No, what I mean is, we're about to start service for the Rotarians Annual Dinner, why am I not speaking to you in the kitchen ?"

Robyn, there is a pause, then she speaks in a very sheepish voice - "Am I supposed to be working ?"

YS - "Yes, starting an hour ago."

Robyn puts hand over phone, but I can still hear her shouting - "Mum, you've got to drive me to Ilkley. No, right now."

Robyn's best (or worst) effort at getting to work came when she set off for her shift, forgot which one of her part time jobs she was supposed to be working at and went to the wrong one, nobody told her she wasn't supposed to be there and I thought she'd quit without telling me.

You see why I don't have children of my own, it's enough stress just employing them.'s not for me.

We've had a bit of bother down on the course so I have been doing the odd late night patrol to check that there are no unsavoury types hanging around by the greens. You can't expect the police to do it, they're all busy filling in forms to show how they have met three dozen differing government targets.

I had driven down to the practice ground, it is absolutely pitch black, and I can hear an odd noise. I turned off the engine and swung my torch around, after a moment I identified the source of the noise, it's a ewe in labour.

I put the torch down and moments later a voice says quite clearly, "Hello."

At this point I emit a little shriek and nearly wet myself.

I'm all by myself, in the dark, down a little country lane, a few moments ago there was no-one in sight and now some invisible person has crept up to the car, possibly with a machete.

After a short pause the voice continues...."You have reached the vodafone credit line, please enter your....".

Oh bloody hell, I've only gone and put the torch down on my mobile. I would laugh about it, but I think I'm having a heart attack.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Wine Review : Inurrieta '02, DO Navarra****

This was one of the Red Nose Day wines offered by the Northern supermarket chain Booths at the very reasonable price of £5.99

The wine is a good dark colour, strong enough on the nose. It is fairly big bodied, tasting of blackberries nicely meshed with slightly toasted oak/hint of smoke with a hint of spice in the background.

It is a good wine for the price, a bit more direct and full in the mouth than you might expect from a Rioja, it's almost striving for a new world effect.

We tried it alongside roast pork and it matched up very well, later in the evening, charitable souls that we are, we drank our way through the other Red Nose wines, seldom has charitable giving been so pleasing.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Politics, it's not for you.

Out political leaders seem to be drawing up a list of people and principles that shouldn't be involved in politics.

Nasty Martin McGuinness doesn't want the family of IRA murder victim Robert McCartney to stand against the Sinn Fein candidate in the forthcoming election, and he made some rather disturbing comments during his speech about it yesterday. It is said that the Sinn Fein candidate was drinking in the pub where Mr. McCartney was stabbed and kicked to death on the pavement outside but oddly enough, like a couple of hundred of other customers, the Sinn Fein candidate 'saw nothing'.

Tony Bliar thinks that the various churches shouldn't go poking their noses into politics, why on earth not ? This is what religion is about, it is all encompassing, and that certainly includes politics whether the issue is abortion, poverty or war. He also doesn't think that Michael Howard should be highlighting cases in the NHS in the election run up, crikey, if we all do what Tony says there won't be many issues left we can actually have an opinion on.

Or maybe (shock and awe!), that's what they want.

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

This man is gay ?? You're kidding me ? I don't think anyone should have been surprised when Rob came out and admitted batting for the other side, it certainly made the macho mens culture of heavy metal think a little, and probably paved the way for the openly gay/bi metal stars of today (Marilyn Manson, Brian Molko) to become accepted. Of course the funniest gay metal moment was when Faith No More's Roddy Bottum came out, with a name like that, did he really need to ?

I'm sorry love, but you're doing nothing for him, as soon as they guy with camera buggers off he's going to french your boyfriend.

I found an interview with Rob in a car magazine, after asking Halford a few questions about his cars and in car music he then posed the unfortunate question....

"And what are your favourite cruising spots ?"

Rob laughs and says "Nothing we can talk about in your publication."
Album Review : Angel of Retribution - Judas Priest*****

Good God and bloody hell fire the grand old camp high priest of heavy metal is back with his band and the word is, it is very bloody good indeed.

Since their last proper album with Rob Halford, the magnificent Painkiller way back in 1990, the Priest have knocked out a few albums with 'Ripper' Owens on vocals, but they were not the real thing.

Here, on the opening track, as the guitars wind up, a noise begins, high pitched screaming that goes on and on and on and then, BOOM, Judas Priest are back in action.

This is a near flawless album, massive riffs, tight drumming, Rob's vocal histrionics and well written songs, 'Judas Rising', 'Hellrider, 'Demonizer', they're all set to instant Priest classics, as soon as those big guitar licks start thundering out you get a silly grin on your face, your head starts nodding, fingers twitching as you reach for your trusty old air guitar.

It's obvious that Halford, Downing, Tipton and Co are still getting the same kick from making music that they had when they started the band way back in the dawn of time (or about 1973). The lyrical style, all angels, demons and slightly made up things, remains exactly the same, and the music is just fantastic, so many fast bands lose pace when they get older (just look at Metallica, ha), but the Priest have produced an album packed with fast, memorable songs played with all the verve and venom they had first time around.

What sets Priest apart from nearly every other British rock band at the moment (with the exception of Muse, The Wildhearts and Feeder) is that they can actually write songs. Songs that you can remember, songs with big, infectious hooks that get you singing along and punching the air with joy. This is proper heavy metal done well, and a whole slew of Brit metallers (Eden Maine, Hondo McClean, Hell Is For Heroes, Hundred Reasons and a whole many more) ought to listen to this album and take a big lesson in how to write songs.

There are ten tracks on the album, a couple of nice changes of pace some along with the ballad 'Angel' and the mid paced 'Worth Fighting For', the only slightly duff note comes with the last track 'Loch Ness' with lyrics as plausible as any Spinal Tap number, but, even after saying that, I've still been singing along to it.

I know it is early in the year, and there is a lot of music to come (including SOAD), but I think this just might be the album of the year.

Captions ?
I've been through the links list cutting out the blogs who seem to have vanished from the interwebnet, if your blog has been cut and you are still active, or you are resurrecting a blog that has been dormant for a while (where are you Sprengsteff and Guabancex ?), just e-mail me at the addy to the right and I'll pop you right back in.
Yorkshire soul's Rambling Quiz : Series 3 Week 6 Answers

1) How would you differentiate a marmalade from a jam, and from a jelly ? Marmalade is made from citrus fruits, jam from fruit pulp and jelly from fruit juice with no bits in.

2) What does SFTGFOP, and is it leaf, broken or fannings ? Special Fine Tippy Golden Flowery Orange Pekoe, and it is a leaf tea.

3) What is the unusual flavour of Gudbrandsdalsost cheese ? Caramel

4) What is the seafood element of Jannson's Temptation ? Anchovies

5) What is the name of the Finnish meat, fish and bread pasty which originated in Savo ?

6) Name the two Swiss dishes based on melted cheese ? Raclette and Fondue

7) What is the name of the egg rich pasta noodles from Germany ? Spatzle

8) What is the name of the worlds only spontaneous fermentation beer, and where does it come from ? Lambic beer from Brussels and the Senne Valley in Belgium

9) What is the French name for a whole almond in a sugar shell ? Dragees

10) What is majiritsa, and if you were given a boiled egg with it, what colour would the egg shell be ? Greek Easter soup with lambs offal, the egg would be painted red to represent the blood of Christ.

This weeks results, it must have been a bit easier than the last round, from a possible 16 points....

Dr. P 16
MR 16
Chez 15
Eleanor (Dreamer Moon Fever) 15
Patricia (Ms B Haven) 15
Jo (Counting Sheep) 13
Penny Farthing 12
Alex (Yorkshire Ranter) 11
Cocky 8
Ric B 6

League Table Week 6

1) Malcolm R 86 =
2) Dr. P 75 =
3) Eleanor (Dreamer Moon Fever) 72 =
4) Chez 59 =
5) Penny Farthing 38 +
6) I am a Donut 34 -
7) Trisha (Saeri) 30 +
8) Alex H(Yorkshire Ranter) 26 -
9) Chay 14 =
10) Jo (Counting Sheep) 13 *
11)Katherine(Chatiryworld) 9 -
12) Cocky 8 *
13) Ric B 6 *
14) Stuart 2 -
15) Tony T 0 -

= Same, + Riser, - Faller, * New Entry, and that's the chart pop pickers.

I'll try to put up another quiz on Friday.

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Cloning success ?

The World Of Mayonnaise, sponsored by an eclectic mix of insurance salesmen, bong smokers and mobile ringtone suppliers.

All this time I thought I was a metalhead and I'm actually a Hessian

English Genius
You scored 93% Beginner, 86% Intermediate, 93% Advanced, and 88% Expert!
You did so extremely well, even I can't find a word to describe your excellence! You have the uncommon intelligence necessary to understand things that most people don't. You have an extensive vocabulary, and you're not afraid to use it properly! Way to go!

Thank you so much for taking my test. I hope you enjoyed it!

For the complete Answer Key, visit my blog:

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 32% on Beginner

You scored higher than 19% on Intermediate

You scored higher than 40% on Advanced

You scored higher than 96% on Expert
Link: The Commonly Confused Words Test written by shortredhead78 on Ok Cupid

Friday, March 11, 2005

1) Describe yourself in one sentence but you must use the word "creep" in it.

I am a biped and therefore I walk rather than creep like a centipede.

2) Did you have a desire to just die at one point in your life?

Yes, right at the end

3) You are about to be executed in five minutes, What do you do/feel? Any last words?

"It wasn't me, it was the other three, the just told me to stand here and watch this door."

4) Do you believe in life after death?


5) What violent crime or natural disaster are you most likely (or would rather choose) to die from?

Yorkshire Soul died yesterday after being crushed when the safety release on Jordan's bra strapped as he walked close by, witnesses fought to save him but say he kept trying to crawl back under the mound of flesh.

6) Do you believe in ghosts?

I'm not really sure, probably not.

7) Who/what do you think you were in the past life?

Can't remember.

8) And the one before that?

Bugger, I can't remember what I was doing last Tuesday, never mind what I was doing two lifetimes ago.

9) If you are to resurrect a dead person, who would it be?


10) Describe your weirdest dream ?

Running around a branch of Makrowith one of those tomato shaped ketchup bottles firing ketchup at Margarat Thatcher PM and the Rt. Hon. Geoffrey Howe.

11) What mental disease are you most likely to develop?

Alzheimers, anything involving forgetfulness and absentmindedness.

12) What extraordinary ability do you have?

I can see through womens clothing and detect an open bottle of wine from a hundred paces, also, I can get lost in any city centre in 30 seconds flat.

13) Which of the seven deadly sins describes you most?


14) Which tarot card do you think you are?

I don't know anything about Tarot, how about, The Bringer of Pork Pies

15) If you are to go back to medieval age, what 3 things would you take with you?

Gareth Gates, Richard Whiteley and Jools Holland, then I'd leave them there and come back.

16) Which war (battles, crusades, missions, campaigns etc.) would you have enjoyed to participate in?

None, fuck that, people with limbs hanging off and gangrene everywhere, what weirdo sent me this quiz ? Hang on, Berwick was at war with Russia for ages, I could have taken part in that, they didn't actually fight at all.

17) You are to switch soul with a member of the opposite sex, who do you choose?

Natasha Kaplinksy

18) Would you choose to be tortured in exchange of something you really desire?


19) What is the weirdest word you've heard ?


20) What do you believe in that most would find unbelievable?

Leeds United's chances of promotion

21) [2] (add one to this number - indicates how far this meme went through before you)

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Walking Yorkshire : Malham, Gordale, Arncliffe

The old smithy in Malham. I've planned a real treat today, a longish walk (19m) with most of Yorkshire's finest limestone features packed into it. I parked at the Dales centre carpark, I'm keen today, first person here. Boots on and off up the road to Gordale Scar (915635).

The entrance to Gordale Scar, New Close Knotts on the left, Cross Field Knotts on the right. So far the walk is a gentle stroll along narrow lanes, worse is to come.

Inside the Scar, water drips constantly from the overhangs above you, it gets steadily darker as you progress, then you have to climb up a waterfall to stay on the path.

I can't climb to save my life, even this fairly short bit is beyond me, so I have to backtrack and haul myself up the loose scree and sheep trails on the side of the Scar. I've had a skinfull of beer at Bookcrossers last night, byt the time I'm halfway up the slope sweat is pouring off me, I don't want to halt as I might not get started again, I certainly don't want to look down and see how bloody high up I am.

When you do eventually make it to the top, and your put upon heart has returned to something approaching normal rhythm, the views down Gordale are quite fantastic.

Looking northwards up Gordale Scar. The walk now turns into a nice flat plod again, for which I'm mightily grateful. I make good time over to Malham Tarn, the tarn is a large area of water which sits on a bed of slate, you don't get lakes in limestone otherwise, it tends to run away.

Great Close Scar to the east of Malham Tarn.

The view across Malham Tarn from the viewing point close to the visitors centre (887674). This part of the walk is on the Pennine Way, up the fairly gentle climb of Malham Moor to the road, I stayed on the road all the way to Arncliffe and then Arncliffe Cote.

Mole control in the high pastures.

Arncliffe village. Pretty little place isn't it ? I stayed on the road for the mile and a half to Arncliffe Cote (and its ugly caravan site) (947705) and then took the bridleway up and over Low Cote Moor - High Cote Moor - Lineseeds Head.

This is Arncliffe Crag / Blue Scar as seen from the road. If you were really fit you could extend this walk by staying on the road for a couple of miles and seeing the even more impressive Kilnsey Crag.

The climb up the moor from Arncliffe Cote is not too steep but it is two miles of steady climbing, when you are halfway up though you can look back and see Great Whernside in the background. It looks really nice covered in snow, but there are patches up here that I'm sinking in up to my knees so I'm glad I'm not somethere that is totally snow covered.

Looking down Cote Gill.

Hawkswick Clowder as seen from the bridleway. The next couple of miles are easy walking, except for the patches of drifted snow, I arrived back at Street Gate (905656) with plenty of time to follow the road west to meet up with the Pennine Way again and take in two more of the striking limestone features.

This is Watlowes, the dry valley that runs from (893652) a few hundred yards south of the car park on the road to Malham Cove itself.

You can clearly see the old streambed twisting its way down the valley.

The lower part of Watlowes leads right to the edge of the Cove, don't fall off now.

Impressive, this must have been quite a sight when it was a waterfall.

Mad bloke in pink top suspends himself from bit of string on Malham Cove.

This was a really great day's walking, I'm knackered now, I've done about 19 miles. If you want to do this route pick up a copy of OS Explorer OL2, make sure you've got the proper kit, especially in winter. I had a good day today and walked most of the day in a t-shirt (with a rucksack full of warm clothes and waterproofs should the weather turn), but the Fell Rescue get sick of picking plonkers off the moor dressed in shorts and sandals.

The really impressive sights on the walk (Malham Cove, Gordale Scar, Malham Tarn) are all easily accessible from the road and are on good paths, it is well worth the short walk to see any of these. Watlowes dry valley is great, but I would recommend you have better footwear with bit of ankle protection for the rocky paths within.

Most of Yorkshire is pretty, often beautiful, but here the limestone country produces features that are awesome and spectacular.

The only bad thing of the day was that, like a complete muppet, I've left my wallet at home, no celebration pint at the Buck Inn for me then, bugger.