Saturday, January 31, 2004

Boom! Taiwan launches new express sushi delivery service.

And another one.
The things you do for love, or lust. As a younger man I had a girlfriend whose grandparents had the pub at Muker (Farmers Arms ?). After Christmas with my own family I set off to spend a few days with Mandy and her family. I took the bus to Hawes, it arrived in pitch darkness at half past four in the afternoon and I resolved to walk from Hawes to Muker.

About half an hour after setting off a blizzard descended, I couldn't see five yards in front of me. Now a vehicle passed along the lonely and windswept moorland road as I trudged along, headphones on, singing Marillion songs to dopey looking sheep.

When I eventually reached the pub I was freezing and soaked, despite my waterproofs, two hours of driving snow into my face, melting down my neck. My snow covered glasses steamed up rendering me doubly blind. I could just see the fire so I shook my jacket in the doorway, walked across the room and hung my coat to dry over a chair in front of the fire.

A wave of laughter erupted, grizzled farmers telling jokes at the bar, oh good thought I, plenty of folk here already, should be a good evening then. After cleaning my glasses
I glanced over to the fire, oh horror, they hadn't lit a fire at all, they'd stuffed the fireplace with red tinsel and aimed a spotlight at light.

The farmers were not telling jokes, they were laughing uproariously at the long haired, dippy hiker bloke. Life moves at a slower pace in Muker, my unwitting moment of comedy was repeated to every newcomer for the rest of the night.
Two items worth mentioning from my hit log.

"Worksafe free pussy", well let's face it mate, the two are not exactly compatible.

"What does Justin Hawkins of The Darkness think of groupies ?", he probably thinks, wahey!, except for the ugly ones, then he thinks, these are for the drummer.

Friday, January 30, 2004

With the average cost for a Nursing Home per day reaching $188.00, there is a better way when we get old &feeble. I have already checked on reservations at the Holiday Inn for a combined long term stay discount and senior discount of $49.23 per night. That leaves $138.77 a day for:breakfast, lunch and dinner in any restaurant I want, or room service, laundry, gratuities and special TV movies.

Plus, they provide a swimming pool, a workout room, a lounge, washer, dryer, etc. Most have free toothpaste and razors, and all have free shampoo and soap. They treat you like a customer, not a patient. $5 worth of tips a day will have the
entire staff scrambling to help you.

There is city Bus stop out front, and seniors ride free. The Handicap bus will also pick you up (if you fake a decent limp). To meet other nice people, call a Church bus on Sundays. For a change of scenery, take the Airport shuttle Bus and eat at one of the nice restaurants there.

While you're at the airport, fly somewhere. Otherwise the cash keeps building up.

It takes months to get into decent nursing homes. Holiday Inn will take your reservation today. And - you are not stuck in one place forever, you can move from Inn to Inn, or even from city to city. Want to see Hawaii? They have a Holiday Inn there too.

TV broken? Light bulbs need changing? Need a mattress replaced? No problem. They fix everything, and apologize for the inconvenience. The Inn has a night security person and daily room service. The maid checks to see if you are ok. If not, they will
call the undertaker or an ambulance. If you fall and break a hip, Medicare will pay for the hip, and Holiday Inn will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.

And no worries about visits from family. They will always be glad to find you, and probably check in for a few days mini-vacation. The grandkids can use the pool.

What more can you ask for?

So: When I reach the Golden age, I'll face it with a grin. Just forward
all my email to: me@Holiday Inn!

Nicked from I B Dreamy, she's nicked from somwhere else but she doesn't say where.
Wednesday night at the Box Tree then, and the third attempt to post this article, Blogger having eaten the last two. I haven't published any restaurant reviews before, being in the business myself it seems a little odd to be commenting on my neighbours, then again, at least I have tasted the sand in the arena.

We went to the Box Tree with the Times Eat Out For £5 Offer, collect three vouchers and you can take a party of up to six people for a two course meal at £5 per head.

Two things that the BT should have attended to on a freezing cold Yorkshire winters night, some salt to grit the icy path would have been good, and a warmer dining room would have been nicer to sit in.

The offered menu had three choices on each course, asparagus soup, chicken liver
parfait or gravadlax, then smoked haddock with thermidor sauce, chicken with cep veloute or pork fillet stuffed with black pudding.

My gravadlax was small but perfectly formed, with a zig zag pattern of lime hollandaise,
Mrs YS declared the foamy soup to be very nice. The chicken main course was presented on a pillow of buttery, chive speckled, creamed potato, with tiny, pretty vegetables arranged in the light, delicate, perfumed cep sauce. Father went for the pork, which looked very nice if little petite.

Both of our initial wine choices were unavailable, but the excellent waiter/sommelier
provided two very good wines in the same price band, the Box Tree having the sort of wine list in which you can soon find yourself in financial trouble. Le Pavillion Semillon Chardonay from Boschendal was clean and crisp with nice lime notes, and a snip at £11.50, for the red we had a Bellesuche '99 M. Chapoutier Cotes Du Rhone, very nice indeed, quite big and a little smoky but not too overpowering for the main course.

Desserts were £5, I had a very nice apple and raisin crumble, served in a butter pastry tart shell, but no presentation at all, just dumped on a plate, Mrs YS had the iced vanilla parfait with strawberry sauce which was very nicely presented.

After coffee, another £2.50, we retired to the lounge for glasses of marc de champagne, a spirit made from the champagne lees and an acquired taste despite mother recommending it. In all it was a fairly good night, but if the Box Tree wants still to be seen as one of Yorkshires premier eating houses it really should pay attention to things like heating, both rooms and food.

Another Ilkley restaurant, The Steps, I won't visit again, on our last trip the food was again wonderful, my seared pigeon breast with parsnip puree was a delight, but I think that one and a half hours is too long to wait for a starter. Furthermore, when a customer makes a complaint, and the staff say something rude about them (and I know we all do it, in the privacy of our own kitchens)

SAY IT WHERE THE CUSTOMER CAN'T HEAR YOU!

Wednesday, January 28, 2004

There's half an inch of snow on the ground, but it still makes putting impossible, so we are closed. Therefore I'm trolling the interwebnet to amuse myself.

Here's a sort of foody blog, Playing With My Food, I'm trying to persude the author, Paul, into posting some recipes.

A transvestite skinheads tour of Catalonia, yep, it made me look as well, and you can read it in Dutch too, how useful.

Dear Abby,

My husband is not happy with my mood swings. The other day, he bought me a mood ring so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big fuc*ing red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me a diamond.

Sincerely,
Bitchy in Boston (Taken from Karen blogs from Malta.).

And now, I'm off for dinner at The Box Tree, owner Madame Avis once threw me out of her nightclub for fighting, let's hope she doesn't remember.

It was a crap fight, I got hit from behind which knocked my glasses off, then someone kicked me whilst I was on the floor scrabbling for my specs, then to cap it all, she throws me out and lets my assailant stay! I suppose though it's just French history repeating itself, the BEF leave via Dunkirk, the Germans get to keep all the vineyards.
Oh please, as long as I live I don't want to have to see John Lydon blowing his nose ever again, somebody buy the man a hankerchief.

Kerry McFadden - still cracking up nicely, 'exhaustion' and tears after being asked to walk 400 yards, and even better, the evil and malign British public have forced the poor girl into the next Bush Tucker challenge, ha ha, we're going to drown her!

Alex Best - the invisible woman, famous for being married to famous alcoholic George, so what ?

'Razor' Ruddock - you do realise your wife can see you hugging all those young women don't you ?

Peter Twat Andre - nothing nasty has happened to him yet, but I keep voting.



Yes, yes, I think the word Arooga is in order, if you pop over to Jasmin you can download this fine piece of art as wallpaper, and see the new ad in full. (For my D&D players, hey look, she must be wearing a +5 Thong!)
We're already planning our next holiday, a sort of circular trip to New York, New Orleans and Florida, and a visit to Hooters ?



Your waitresses tonight, Jennifer and Caren. I keep suggesting to my girls that we have a staff uniform along these lines, thus, I keep getting slapped.
Yorkshiresoul 'Finds' Nemo
So the 'Big Freeze' is here. What is wrong with us all ? A spattering of wintery weather and all the media are behaving as if the next ice age is upon us. The Daily Mail yesterday actually printed this advice............if you are feeling a bit chilly, try wearing a scarf! You rather wory about the Mail's readership if they need that sort of advice.

As for all the muppets who will doubtless have got stuck on roads up and down the country, BUY SOME BLOODY SNOW CHAINS, we've had about an inch of snow last night, that's London ground to a halt then.
This is respected a.f.w. contributor Ian Hoare replying to a post I made yesterday on the news group...........(My comments in "")

"Jane MacQuity writing in last weekends Times claimed that almost without
exception there is never a need to decant wines or even to let them breath."

I disagree profoundly.

"She said that the practice of allowing some fine reds to breath before
drinking was actually damaging the wines."

If you leave them too long, of course.

"Quoting Macquity "There is no mysterious alchemy that occurs if you decant a wine. Take my word for it, wine does not freshen, improve it's bouquet, or open up when exposed to air."

Not freshen, but it does improve its bouquet AND open up. She's completely
up the creek on this one.

"Ms MacQuity further stated that the only wines that ever require decanting
are crusted ports and old reds that have thrown a sediment."

Wrong. Only yesterday, Mikulski, talking of his Meursault-Genevrières 2001
said that it would improve considerably when drinking at less than 5 years'
old, if decanted 3-4 hours in advance.

I don't know what Ms McQuitty is up to. Perhaps she's been told to throw off
the stuffy "Times" image and start being more "modern". In any case, I
think - from personal experience that she's wrong all along the line on this
one.

Final example. Over Xmas (we were in the UK with my brother), my brother
brought up 3 bottles of Ch Beaucastel '95. We weren't sure how many we'd
drink amongst the 11 of us round the table, so we opened (and decanted) 2 of
them about an hour and a half in advance. About half an hour into the meal,
it was obvious that we'd need the third, so I opened it and decanted it.
Upon drinking it, the wine showed far less expressively at first, and was
quite closed in. Lots of enthusiastic glass twirling DID get it to open up,
but nevertheless, it was noticeably less expressive than the first two.

"What do the knowledgeable AFW contributors think ?"

Same as I think of people who say that all guidelines as to what wine to
drink with what dish are useless. Rubbish.

--
All the Best
Ian Hoare

Another regular, Mark Lipton, added this.........

As others have already said, the notion that breathing and/or decanting is
pointless runs contrary to fact. Ms. McQuity must either not have tried many
ageworthy wines or have no palate. What I can contribute to this discussion
is a little sense of *why* air may improve a wine's bouquet. Most wines are
bottled under what we could term "reductive" conditions (reduction here
meaning the opposite of oxidation). Part of what happens as that wine ages
(but only part) is the gradual and slow oxidation of various components to
give rise to what we think of as "bouquet" and "tertiary aromas." A very
powerful red wine might remain in a reductive state in perpetuity. So, when
you open one of these wines, exposure to atmospheric oxygen induces chemical
reactions with the reductive flavors of the wine that produce more bouquet.
FWIW, the same thing happens with coffee: the familiar aroma of fresh-brewed
coffee is the result of oxygen-induced reactions that liberate odorants.
That's why you should start with cold water that is used just before reaching
a boil (more dissolved oxygen in the water). Come to think of it, oxidation
also accounts for the familiar smells of onion and garlic..........

For more wine anorak stuff than you can hit with a stick, and to see this thread in full (title - Wines, No Need To Breath ?) go to alt.food.wine

A small pile of hits yesterday from Globe Of Blogs, why ? Because I'm on their front page, woohoo, fame at last.

Tuesday, January 27, 2004

Although I'm not a huge fan of reality tv shows, I'm going to make an exception for the new series of . I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here, and the reason ? John Lydon.

Johnny Rotten as was, lacks the social programming that prevents most people from saying what they truly think about others, people who can remember his cringemaking interview alongside The Carpenters will know what I mean. Sparks should fly, it's going to be like waiting for a car crash to happen, horrible, but compulsive.

Last night I must admit I was very impressed with Jordan, and not just with her impressive chest, but by the way she performed the first bush tucker trial, I would have freaked out on the first jug of spiders, good going girl.

Kerry McFadden is TAPS (that's Thick As Pig Shit to you), she's also a wuss of the first order, one bout of tears on day one, bet she doesn't make it to the end of the week.
When asked her opinion of her fellow contestants, Kerry cheerfully admitted she had never heard of Lord Brocket, Diane Modahl, Jenny Bond or Neil Ruddock, oh well.

Peter Andre, is a twat. Let's hope something heavy falls on him.
I have played Dungeons & Dragons for a long time, it's a big part of my social life when I get to see all the gang and their children, we try to have a session once a week, playing, eating, drinking, stopping the kids from eating the character sheets, it's all good fun.

Last week we lost one of our lead characters, Charle Aminger, it went like this......................

The Company had traveled to the country estate of Symon Vyner, Charles' cousin, whose house and grounds had been taken over by an evil entity known as the Corinthian, and his fey and dreamkin cohorts.

They bravely their way through numerous deadly encounters, including a showdown with the Corinthian himself and his dreambreeder. Whilst mopping up the last of the enemy forces, the company were lured into an ethereal demi-plane inhabited by five vengeful ghosts.

The Company 'destroyed' two of the ghosts, then two more, and were then rather disturbed to find that all their kills were actually reforming themselves. In the final battle, as Beltain, Saragon and Psyche were brought down to single figure hit points, Sibornal summoned holy powers to throw back the evil spirits, Callran hurled mighty magicks at the opponents, Charle was hit repeatedly by a ghost dragon.

No need for saving throws, no fortitude check, just dead. Seeing that the entire Company was about to be killed, Saragon grabbed a Wand of Resurrection and forced Charles' soul back into his body. A few more strikes and the ghosts were defeated.

Charle though has decided to call it a day, the endless violence and bloodshed has become too much. He is a nobleman and has done much to restore the good name of his family, as the most politically powerful of the current adventuring party he will continue on in the game, but in the background. He is retiring to his duchy, to breed horses and deal in spices and gems, and to devote more time to a certain young lady mage methinks.
Like many bloggers, I often add my url to various databases, Popdex, Globe Of Blogs etc., I have come across this one, The Truth Laid Bare Ecosystem and added Ysoul, wow, soon I could be an amoeba in the TTLB system, oh well.

Monday, January 26, 2004

But Is It Art ?

Helmut Newton is dead, well, at least he got to see Iman in the buff before he went.



Crocodile and Ballerina, of course I could have used this to write a glowing recommendation of Newton's work, but this being Yorkshiresoul, I'll just use it as a cheap shot to publish tits and bums shots.

Linked shots may not be worksafe.

Automobile and girl.

Office Love.

Naked French Vogue


Allure.


"While you're down there.........."

Seen at Serial Deviant.
Another book meme..........

Q - What did you last read?

Stupid White Men - Michael Moore

Q - What are you reading now?

Aftermath by Charles Sheffield and Cursed Days by Ivan Bunin.

Q - What do you plan to read next?

The Beatles by Hunter Davies, a biography of Spike Milligan and David Brin's Kil'n People, plus a few cookbooks.


Q - What would you like to read, but don't have?

The Allan Clarke diaries, The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn

Q - What would you recommend for others to read?

Lord Of The Rings - Tolkien, The Uplift War series - David Brin, Saga Of The Exiles series - Julian May, Spike Milligan's autobiographical WW2 novels, Neil Gaiman's brilliant Sandman graphic novels, Watchmen - Alan Moore, Join Me - Danny Wallace, and read a good quality daily newspaper.

Q - What's your favourite book from childhood?

The Dark Is Rising sequence - Susan Cooper

Q - What book last made you laugh?

Jennifer Government - Max Barry

Q - What book last made you weep?

I don't think I have ever cried over a book, though I read a book last year about the Holocaust in Hungary, Survivors of the Shoah I think, it came close.

Q - What book last made you angry?

Stupid White Men - Michael Moore, angry at the US Government and Mr. Moore both.

Taken from Fraser Speirs.
Get over to Deborama's today for a great cassoulet recipe, some stimulating book reviews and the meaning of 'Shibboleth', a Cthulu nightmare or having your tongue cut out by vengeful Gileadites ?

A snazzy new look over at Kennamatic, Stevan muses on colons, sci-fi novels and J-Lo's arse, Jim's in Germany building the Starship Enterprise or taking mind altering drugs, whilst Emma features crack babies, bitch mothers and spank the penguin, enjoy.

Sunday, January 25, 2004

Here's some Sunday morning fun for you, change your life with the parascience pack, read why the great man thinks anti-semetism is bad, smile knowingly when Debbie Harry says he looks like an alien and be frankly baffled as the great man combines spoon bending with strategic nuclear arms reduction treaties.

Who ? Uri Geller of course.


A little theme thing for the week, women drivers, and before you all have a fit, blame Penny Farthing and Cheryl, they sent the pics.
An Eskimo takes his snowmobile in for a service. The mechanic checks it out and says to the Eskimo ,
"It looks like you've blown a seal"
"No," says the Eskimo, "that's just frost on my mustache."

Saturday, January 24, 2004



A pic from our hols in Lanzarote, this is in the Timanfaya National Park, an area called the Sea Of Tranquility on the volcanic slopes. Timanfaya is pretty good value, for about four and a half quid you get a bus tour of the volcanoes, plus you get to see lunch being cooked over a volcanic vent, and a man poking bits of tree into holes, more piccies to follow.
What do you call a Lancastrian with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

What do you call a sheep tied to a lampost in Bury ?
An entertainments centre.

How do you castrate a Lancastrian?
Punch his sister in the jaw.

How do Lancastrians practice safe sex?
They mark the sheep that kick.

(Thanks to Matt)

Friday, January 23, 2004

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled.

The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast,I know you'll forgive me."

She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 1221."

(Thanks to Lindsey)
A customer phones Mrs YS to ask about my proposed menu for Valentines Night......

"Those oysters, are they real oysters ?"

Mrs YS (baffled already), "Of course they are"

Customer, "Oh, well I can't eat real oysters"
Book Meme. The rules are as per the film meme, bold for works you have read, italics for works you would like to.

1) Lord Of The Rings - J R R Tolkien
2) To Kill A Mockingbird - Harper Lee
3) Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
4) Animal Farm - George Orwell
5) War And Peace - Leo Tolstoy
6) Riders - Jilly Cooper
7) The Stand - Stephen King
8) The Sicilian - Mario Puzo
9) Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen
10) Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
11) Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
12) The Saga Of The Exiles - Julian May
13) Sandman:The Dolls House - Neil Gaiman
14) Vurt - Jeff Noon
15) A House For Mr Biswas - V S Naipul
16) Endymion - Dan Simmons
17) Space - Stephen Baxter
18) Hi-Fidelity - Nick Hornby
19) The Dark Is Rising - Susan Cooper
20) Valley Of The Dolls - Jaqueline Susann
21) The Allan Clark Diaries - Allan Clark
22) Charlotte's Web - Elwyn Brooks
23) The Scar - China Mieville
24) The Iliad - Homer
25) Peter Pan - J M Barrie
26) Mansfield Park - Jane Austen
27) Carry On Jeeves - P G Wodehouse
28) Porterhouse Blue - Tom Sharpe
29) Watership Down - Richard Adams
30) Tarka The Otter - Henry Williamson
31) Epitres - Voltaire
32) The Uplift War - David Brin
33) The Adventures Of Huckleberry Finn - Mark Twain
34) Adolf Hitler, My Part In His Downfall - Spike Milligan
35) Jennifer Government - Max Barry
36) Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
37) Watchmen - Alan Moore
38) Clan Of The Cave Bear - Jean M Auel
39) The Merchant Of Venice - Shakespeare
40) Tess Of The D'Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
41) Consider Phlebus - Iain Banks
42) Parliaments - Thomas Carlyle
43) Tales To Ticklish To Tell - Berke Breathed
44) The Day Of The Triffids - John Wyndham
45) Green Eggs And Ham - Dr Suess
46) A Traitor To Memory - Elizabeth George
47) I'll Be Seeing You - Mary Higgins Clark
48) The Stone Raft - Jose Saramago
49) Lord Of The Flies - William Golding
50) The God Of Small Things - Arundhati Roy
51) Alias Grace - Margeret Atwood
52) Fantastic Mr Fox - Roald Dahl
53) The Hunt For Red October - Tom Clancy
54) Count Zero - William Gibson
55) Zen And The Art Of Motorcycle Maintanence - Robert M Pirsig
56) Wilt - Tom Sharpe
57) The Silmarillion - J R R Tolkien
58) Time Enough For Love - Robert Heinlein
59) The Love Knot - Charlotte Bingham
60) Female Parts - Dario Fo
61) Beowulf - Seamus Heaney
62) Jurassic Park - Michael Crichton
63) The Forge Of God - Greg Bear
64) Jack Holborn - Leon Garfield
65) Bruno's Dream - Iris Murdoch
66) Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets - J K Rowling
67) Praxis - Fay Weldon
68) The Monkey King - Timothy Mo
69) Stupid White Men - Michael Moore
70) 1984 - George Orwell
71) The Chronicles Of Thomas Covenant - Stephen Donaldson
72) From Hell - Alan Moore
73) 101 Dalmations
74) The Time Machine - H G Wells
75) Runaway - Lucy Irvine
76) Huis Clos - Jean Paul Satre
77) Love & Rockets - Jamie Hernandez
78) The Death Of Grass - John Christopher
79) Naked Lunch - William Burroughs
80) Fevre Dream - George R R Martin
81) Books Of Blood - Clive Barker
82) Antigone - Sophocles
83) Wealth Of Nations - Adam Smith
84) The Colour Of Magic - Terry Pratchett
85) Cry Wolf - Wilbur Smith
86) Barman Year One - Frank Miller
87) The Tale Of Peter Rabbit - Beatrix Potter
88) Point Of Origin - Patricia Cornwell
89) Jackdaws - Ken Follet
90) Idoru - William Gibson
91) The Code Of The Woosters - P G Wodehouse
92) Shardik - Richard Adams
93) Helliconia - Brian Aldiss
94) Macbeth - Shakespeare
95) Shattered - Dick Francis
96) Disgrace - J M Coetzee
97) Ink Paintings - Gao Xingjian
98) The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
99) The Simple Art Of Murder - Raymond Chandler
100) Aenied - Virgil

There we go, fly little meme, fly.

Thursday, January 22, 2004

A complaint, from a hypocrite...............

"You are stealing images from my site and cropping my logo from them."

You are correct, but unless I am very much mistaken, none of these images are yours in the first place, the sporting pictures (footy-below, Karin Koch etc) are all taken from sports sites, your photoshopped images have all been sent in by readers and you pop your own url on the pics and then do not credit your contributors.

You will note on Yorkshire Soul that I usually credit where pics and links have come from (unless I have trawled them from linkdumps), or else I credit whoever had e-mailed these items to me, now piss off and stop whinging.
Proper footy, the Vinnie Jones/Norman Hunter tackle..............

Wednesday, January 21, 2004

A meme, which I try not to do too many of, Shiela might be interested, as per instructions, bold I have seen, italic I would like to.

001. Godfather, The (1972)
002. Shawshank Redemption, The (1994)
003. Godfather: Part II, The (1974)
004. Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The (2003)
005. Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The (2002)
006. Casablanca (1942)
007. Schindler’s List (1993)
008. Shichinin no samurai (1954) (The Seven Samurai)
009. Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, The (2001)
010. Citizen Kane (1941)
011. Star Wars (1977)
012. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest (1975)
013. Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964)
014. Rear Window (1954)
015. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980)
016. Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981)
017. Memento (2000)
018. Usual Suspects, The (1995)
019. Pulp Fiction (1994)
020. North by Northwest (1959)
021. Fabuleux destin d’Amelie Poulain, Le (2001) ("The Fabulous Destiny of Amelie Poulain")
022. Psycho (1960)
023. 12 Angry Men (1957)
024. Lawrence of Arabia (1962)
025. Silence of the Lambs, The (1991)
026. Buono, il brutto, il cattivo, Il (1966) (The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly)
027. It’s a Wonderful Life (1946)
028. Goodfellas (1990)
029. American Beauty (1999)
030. Vertigo (1958)
031. Sunset Blvd. (1950)
032. Pianist, The (2002)
033. Matrix, The (1999)
034. Apocalypse Now (1979)
035. To Kill a Mockingbird (1962)
036. Some Like It Hot (1959)
037. Taxi Driver (1976)
038. Paths of Glory (1957)
039. Third Man, The (1949)
040. C’era una volta il West (1968) (Once Upon a Time in the West)
041. Fight Club (1999)
042. Boot, Das (1981)
043. Sen to Chihiro no kamikakushi (2001) (Spirited Away)
044. Double Indemnity (1944)
045. L.A. Confidential (1997)
046. Chinatown (1974)
047. Singin’ in the Rain (1952)
048. Requiem for a Dream (2000)
049. Maltese Falcon, The (1941)
050. M (1931)
051. All About Eve (1950)
052. Bridge on the River Kwai, The (1957)
053. Monty Python and the Holy Grail (1975)
054. Se7en (1995)
055. Saving Private Ryan (1998)
056. Cidade de Deus (2002) (City of God)
057. Raging Bull (1980)
058. Wizard of Oz, The (1939)
059. Rashemon (1950)
060. Sting, The (1973)
061. American History X (1998)
062. Alien (1979)
063. Mr. Smith Goes to Washington (1939)
064. Leon (The Professional) (1994)
065. 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968)
066. Vita bella, La (1997) (Life Is Beautiful)
067. Touch of Evil (1958)
068. Manchurian Candidate, The (1962)
069. Wo hu cang long (2000) (Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon)
070. Treasure of the Sierra Madre, The (1948)
071. Great Escape, The (1963)
072. Clockwork Orange, A (1971)
073. Reservoir Dogs (1992)
074. Annie Hall (1977)
075. Amadeus (1984)
076. Jaws (1975)
077. Ran (1985)
078. On the Waterfront (1954)
079. Modern Times (1936)
080. High Noon (1952)
081. Braveheart (1995)
082. Apartment, The (1960)
083. Sixth Sense, The (1999)
084. Fargo (1996)
085. Aliens (1986)
086. Shining, The (1980)
087. Blade Runner (1982)
088. Strangers on a Train (1951)
089. Duck Soup (1933)
090. Metropolis (1927)
091. Finding Nemo (2003)
092. Donnie Darko (2001)
093. Toy Story 2 (1999)
094. Princess Bride, The (1987)
095. General, The (1927)
096. City Lights (1931)
097. Lola rennt (1998) (Run Lola Run)
098. Full Metal Jacket (1987)
099. Notorious (1946)
100. Sjunde inseglet, Det (1957) (The Seventh Seal)

(Found at ItCrossedMyMind)

Gosh, that was hard work, think I'll dream a book meme now

Tuesday, January 20, 2004

Book Review, Jennifer Government - Max Barry *****



In Barry's vision of the corporate future employees take the surnames of their employers, big business is more powerful than government, there are no armies, you just rent the Police or the NRA to kill people.

Hack Nike has a problem, Nike's latest marketing strategy involves assassinating teenagers just after they've bought their $2,500 Nike Mercury trainers, he doesn't really want to kill adolescents so he gives the job to the Police, who subcontract the killings to the NRA.

Buy Mitsui has a problem, Buy only ever hits his stock dealing targets on insider trading tips, he wanders into Hack's sponsored killings and a young girl dies in his arms, he decides to kill himself.

Jennifer Government has a problem, she badly wants to arrest, or shoot, she's not fussy, John Nike.

John Nike is a stop at nothing, power crazed megalomaniac, when he says he wants to wipe out the competition, you had better take him literally.

Max Barry plunges his characters into a maelstrom of corporate greed and business war, as some struggle to find their individuality others fight their way to the top of the ladder. Although Jennifer Government provides plenty of noir laughs along the way, you tend to think after reading it, hang on, apart from actually shooting people, this is how big business behaves.

As the novel progresses, and the bullets fly, and Billy NRA runs from disaster to disaster, and Violet (no last name, hah, she's unemployed!) loses the plot, and John Nike floats to the surface like the biggest lump in the cess tank, Barry's rather chilling vision of a brand ruled future doesn't seem very far away at all.
You didn't nominate me ? Mind you, they don't have a category for 'Most Eclectic Blog'. Don't nominate me for any of these please.
Tesco responds (which proves at least they have more manners than PETA)...........

"Thank you for contacting us. I was sorry learn that you are unhappy because
we are already introducing some Easter goods into our stores.

Like all other retailers, we introduce our Easter lines several months
before the holiday period, in order to provide our customers with the chance
to buy some of their requirements early.

I am sure you will agree that all holidays are very expensive times of year
and we like to give our customers the opportunity to spread the cost.

Whilst I am sorry that you are unhappy, I do hope you will understand our
reasons for this.

However, I appreciate your letting us know your views

Kind Regards

David Traynor
Customer Service Manager - Tesco"


Well David, I tend to think that these 'holidays', or should that be holy days ? These marketing periods then are very expensive because in our consumer driven society we have turned these celebrations of the christian faith into orgies of present buying.

Now I like receiving gifts, it's lovely, there's no denying it, but there are children growing up today who think that Christmas is a celebration of Santa Claus ! Don't buy Easter presents at vastly inflated prices, just get the family together for dinner, get some friends round. Give your children an empty cardboard box, a tennis ball, some string and two sticks, keeps 'em happy for hours, they don't need those £85 Nike trainers, they'll only jump in the mud in them anyway.

Whilst I'm on a rant, kids with mobile phones. How did we, the phoneless generation, survive to adulthood ? We didn't get mugged or murdered because we didn't have personal comminication devices. How did we network ? We talked, and when we talked we said things like...........

"Let's all meet at Chris's house 10am tomorow," then that's what we did. We didn't sit alone in our bedrooms chatting on the phone, we went and saw our friends and talked to them face to face, then we went and played on the railway lines, but that's another story.
Kayleigh Rose

A fanfare please, a very welcome phone call from P&C early this morning to announce the arrival of their baby daughter Kayleigh Rose (hope I've got the spelling correct), sister to Joshua, mother and daughter both fine, father sounds shattered, we're coming round for a cuddle tonight (with some wetting of the baby's head, obviously).

Brother in law Mk.2 Andy and partner Carole have bought their first home, they're having to decorate the entire place before moving in due to the previous owners tastes in purple paint, dirt and cat urine, nice.

Final bit of family&friends stuff, bother in law Mk.4, Rob, faces an 8 week ban from the football pitch when afters were offered during the match between the heroic Burley Trojans Reserves and the rough boys from Pool. Trojans were winning the match 5-0 with only moments to go when our warrior/midfielder let fly with a haymaker, sadly only glancing off his opponents cheek.

Rob's hoping that a few weeks in the Gym with the punchbag will sharpen up his reflexes ready for the Burley vs Otley Super Middleweight contest.

Monday, January 19, 2004

Book Review, The Face - Dean Koontz *****



Ethan Truman, ex-cop and now head of security for Hollywood's biggest star, is a troubled man. The death of his wife six years ago still haunts him and colours every relationship he has, his best friend lies in coma after being savagely beaten by a drugs gang, he doesn't really like his boss and hates the way his employers ten year son is treated.

Then there's the boxes, six of them, thrown over the walls of the Hollywood mansion in the dead of night. Each contains a cryptic gift, an apple sewn up containing a glass eye, a pickling jar full of men's foreskins, somebody is trying to send a message to Ethan's boss.

Koontz introduces one of his nastiest villains in this novel, Corky Laputa the dedicated anarchist with his random poisonings, drug handouts and pet killings is horrible but captivating.

As with some previous novels I feel that Koontz now writes thrillers so well that he hardly needs to bother with the supernatural elements at all. When Ethan starts having odd moments of deja vu, and a previously dead man gets up and walks away it's good, but the novel was flowing so well anyway I would have been just as happy with a serial killer/nutter novel.

Good stuff though, 670+ pages in paperback, it is one of those unputdownable books, I ripped through it in a couple of days, eager to see what mayhem Corky could conjure, or whether ten year old Fric could escape the clutches of Moloch.
Good morning, and what a windy start to the new week it is. Firstly, a triumphant return to the links list for DeIrishWoman, I'd taken Maisey off the list a while ago as the blog seemed to have gone dormant, but she's back and on fine form. Do check her out if only for the photo of the 6 foot snow penis.

This in my inbox from expectant Cheryl regarding dinner and D&D..................
"Sunday is fine for us. In the event of childbirth occurring we would be
otherwise occupied however."

Copy of letter sent to Tesco, I'm being calm look, I haven't offered the supermarket giant out the back for a fight, yet.

"Dear Tesco,

I can't help but notice that you seem to have Easter Eggs on your shelves in the first week of January, marketing gone mad ? No religious celebration you can't make a fast buck from ?

In all seriousness, I believe that your attitude towards Christmas and Easter is a little too keen, products are placed months in advance with no thought for peoples religious beliefs and sensitivities."

I note that my last letter,
to PETA, is still unanswered.

Sunday, January 18, 2004

Oh Lordy don't look at this, a nearly naked piccy of Gordon Brown over at Karma's Drum.


Meanwhile over at Kelving Green a link to Quizilla proves that I am
aragorn
Congratulations! You're Aragorn!


Which Lord of the Rings character and personality problem are you?
brought to you by Quizilla, Oh well.
A sandwich walks into a pub and the barman says..........
"Sorry but we don't serve food"

A dog goes to the job centre and asks for work. He's told there's a vacancy at the circus. The dog asks, "What would a circus want with a plumber ?"

A man goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and drinks them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Why are you drinking so fast ?"
The man says, "You'd be drinking this fast if you had what I had."
The bartender says, "What do you have ?"
The man replies, "75 pence"
Another blog that is NOT SAFE FOR WORK, Pussy Ranch, well, the name says it all really, the real life exploits of Cody Diablo the stripper and her pet gay goldfish. Recommended by Saeri.
I'm off to become an Indian policeman, the reason being, in that warm, friendly and wise nation they are paying a monthly cash bonus to coppers with facial fuzz. Any Indian policeman that grows a fine and manly moustache will get a cash reward of 30 Rupees per month.

The Madhya Pradesh Chief of Police said................."Military style moustaches will raise an officers social standing and make them look smarter"

I'm just hoping there's a similar bonus for out of control goatee beards.

Saturday, January 17, 2004

The Burial of Sir John Moore after Corunna,
penned by Charles Wolfe


"Not a drum was heard, nor a funeral note,
As his corse to the rampart we hurried;
Not a soldier discharged his farewell shot
O’er the grave where our hero we buried.

We buried him darkly at dead of night,
The sods with our bayonets turning;
By the struggling moonbeam’s misty light
And the lanthorn dimly burning.

No useless coffin enclosed his breast,
Nor in sheet nor in shroud we wound him;
But he lay like a warrior taking his rest
With his martial cloak around him.

Few and short were the prayers we said,
And we spoke not a word of sorrow;
But we steadfastly gazed on the face that was dead,
And we bitterly thought of the morrow.

We thought, as we hollowed his narrow bed
And smoothed down his lonely pillow,
That the foe and the stranger would tread o’er his head,
And we far away on the billow!

Lightly they’ll talk of the spirit that’s gone
And o’er his cold ashes upbraid him —
But little he’ll reck, if they let him sleep on
In the grave where a Briton has laid him.

But half of our heavy task was done
When the clock struck the hour for retiring:
And we heard the distant and random gun
That the foe was sullenly firing.

Slowly and sadly we laid him down,
From the field of his fame fresh and gory;
We carved not a line, and we raised not a stone,
But left him alone with his glory. "

I was rather taken with this, it was included in an article in todays Times written by David Sharrock in which he describes Moore's stand at Corunna with 30,000 British troops outnumbered 10-1 by the mighty army of Napoleon.

This from the closing paragraph of Sharrock's piece.................

"History is still very raw around here; in the city of Vigo they still burn effigies of the French every year".

Friday, January 16, 2004

I'm back, we're all back from our week in wonderfully sunny and pleasant Lanzarote. There might be tales of drunken debauchery, late night carousing and wild sexual abandon, but only from other people. Just to show that we haven't lost our edge when it comes to alcoholic excess, may I present for your delectation and delight...............

The Grand Final of the 2004 Puerto Del Carmen Pool Chair Race



Yes, that's right, two grown men (JR on the left of pic, Yorkshiresoul to the right, with a rather fetching bandana) sat on plastic garden chairs rowing themselves up a swimming pool. The event was 'won' by JR with massive cheating (i.e. got off and swam), drugs tests proved inconclusive as no blood could be found in the alcohol stream of either man.

Monday, January 12, 2004

Hello faithful readership, well, those of you who are not currently here with me basking in the glorious sunshine of Lanzarote. We arrived safe and sound on Thursday evening and went direct to Chester Fried Chicken for dinner. Despite the dubious name 'Chester Fried' does proper meals as well as anything dipped in spicy batter.

A few beers later and our private pool at midnight, oh yes, you did read PRIVATE POOL, looked very inviting, a prolonged dip (with more beer) followed. The weather has been great so far, sunny all day, Andy aka Squirrel Boy is looking a bit red on his shiny bonce.

We have amused ourselves all week by trying to injure each other with sponge soaker balls, these pack quite a punch when water filled and propelled by Andy and JR, ouch my eye.

Spent the day at a water park with loads of water slides and stuff, on arriving we found it to be almost empty, and then we found why, €21 to get in!! Thieving buggers, anyway we paid and went on every single slide ten times over to get our moneys worth. Jr has perfected an arse first technique not dissimilar to a Barnes Wallace bomb.

Last night, erm, Sunday, we dined in the harbour, vast platters of paella, mixed fish grills and tapas, loads of wine, then dodgy spirits. On getting home we decided we hadn´t had half enough to drink so polished off two more bottles of local vino, more beer and ended up in the pool again at midnight, how is the weather in Yorkshire by the way.

Hope everyone is well, back to regular service on Saturday, best wishes from Y Soul and Mrs YS, JR & C, Stephenok and Nats.

Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Film Review - Attack Of The Clones *

The first film of this Star Wars trilogy was so bad that I have been in no ruch at all to see this econd part, and was it worth the wait ? No, if anything this film sucks harder than the first one.

The first, and most major, problem with this film is the two leading actors, Ewan McGregor seems to have forgotten everything he ever learned about his profession, whilst Hayden Christianson obviously never learned anything in the first place. To call Christiansons acting wooden would be to insult forests everywhere.

Other crimes against acting include Natalie Portman's portrayal of Padme and Samuel L Jackson waiting for his paycheck. Only when Christopher Lee turns up do we see any real talent, it's a poor do when you want the evil guys to win just because they're better acted.

Another, glaring, problem is the quite dreadful script and the way characters interact. Watch the sequence where Obi-Wan first visits the cloners, see how everyone talks without listening to what the other characters are saying, awful. Did Count Dukoo have a brain spasm and forget his huge clone army ? Why don't the cloners notice that Obi-Wan knows bugger all about the clones, therefore the army probably isn't his ? Why wasn't this better edited ?

The main battle, and here comes my biggest whinge as this is what the film has been leading up to, as all Sat Wars movies do. The main battle, although nicely choreographed and well animated (which is not true of creatures in other parts of the film), suffers from the same problem as the battle at the end of The Phantom Menace.

In a battle between robots and flobberty aliens (with Jamaican boys on speed accents), nobody cares who wins, therefore, in a battle between robots and clones (who might as well be robots), well.......................

Where has George Lucas gone so wrong ? In The Empire Strikes Back we were treated to a great battle, you could see the ebb and flow of the action and follow the main character through the fighting.

Look at some great battle sequences in cinema that focus
a) on the characters
b)on the bigger picture
In the first category you could have Saving Private Ryan and Enemy At The Gates, you don't know how either of these battles are turning but you are intimately involved with the leading characters and their struggle to stay alive.

In other battles on film, Spartacus, Lawrence of Arabia, you can clearly see the pattern of the battle and the overall flow of the action. A few films manage both, LOTR:ROTK, Zulu.

What does Mr Lucas manage then in this climactic fight, more special effects than you can wave a stick at, he ably translates the confusion of war into the fog of cinema, bang, bang, whoosh, kaboom, and then...........
"We've won sir, they're retreating"

Christopher Lee makes his escape (wahey for the bad guys), but is waylaid by Yoda, Yoda the fighting scrotum, and by the time you have wiped tears pf mirth from your eyes, it's thankfully all over.

When part 3 rolls around, lets hope the bad guys win, in fact, lets hope they win, capture the jedi and then insert burning bamboo splinters under their fingernails, or tentacles.

Tuesday, January 06, 2004

ww
Not work safe. A blog by a Yorkshire lass who has moved down South to become a working girl (although this wasn't her first career choice, it paid better than typing) in London. Belle de Jour caused a mild hoo ha when it won the Gruniads Best Written Blog Award.

On a similar subject comes Ibdreamy, a redheaded 'exotic dancer' from Michigan, A Girl With A Skin often gets close to the bone as it were, and lastly, I'm Raymi The Minx isn't a working girl or a pole dancer, she just likes posting naked pictures of herself on the interwebnet.

Monday, January 05, 2004

Yorkshiresoul in bizarre 'celebrity' wedding.

Rumours abound on the interwebnet that Ilkley based bearded loon Yorkshire Soul was wed in the Little White Chapel, Las Vegas, Nevada, yesterday, to pop princess and lesbian snogger Britney Spears.

In what is thought to be a publicity stunt to prop up falling record sales/blog readership, the celebrity couple married after an afternoon on the booze.

"It seemed like a good idea at the time," said Yorkshire Soul later.

Britney spears contacted her lawyers to have the wedding annulled just 12 hours after the ceremony took place.

"It was a nightmare," she said this morning. "He insisted on watching cricket on satellite tv, spent the whole wedding night trying to tell me the difference between googlies and chinamen and shouted -you're shite, and you know you are- every time that McGill bloke took the ball. I'm calling the whole thing off."

"It would never have worked," said a rueful and hungover Yorkshire Soul this morning.
"Anyway, she says tomato and a I say it's pronounced tomato you ditzy, pneumatic Yank bint."

Sunday, January 04, 2004

Oh, my brain hurts.................

Woo hoo, only a few days before Mrs YS and myself, JR + C, Nats and Steven and Andy W (squirrel man) depart for Lanzarote for a weeks hols. The long range weather forecast says dry and warm for Thurs/Fri, then again, its always dry and warm in the bar, waiter, three bottles of Pesquera for me, and a coke for Andy please.

Saturday, January 03, 2004

Most ironic Christmas present ?

A mug emblazoned with the amusing phrase................"Leeds United supporters mug, put a goldfish in it and pretend you've won something"

All very funny, and given to me by a Sheffield Wednesday fan, all together now........

"You're shit, and you know you are"
On New Years Eve I was taking the staff home in a blizzard, taking young James back up to Langbar (Langbar is pretty much back of beyond even for country folk) in 3 inches of snow proved to be a pretty hairy drive, but we managed.

As we rounded the last corner to the hamlet we were surprised to find a Freelander upside down in the stream at the bottom of the gulley next to the road. A cheerful farmer had helped the uninjured (except to pride perhaps) townies from their car, and, as he loaded them into his Landrover, smiled and said to me.

"Ah lad, they've just come up out of town for a play in the snow, but now I'm going to take them back where they belong."
Half Naked And Freezing

English eccentrics take to the hills on New Years Day to immerse themselves in the clean, cold water that flows off Rombalds Moor above Ilkley. The stream empties into the spa pool at White Wells at six degrees, although it felt colder.




Yorkshire Soul looking cold.




P looking colder.



So why does JR look like he's enjoying a day at the beach ?

See you all next year in your swimming kit.

Thursday, January 01, 2004

More lazy journalism, happy new year to you all, here are my best wines of last year. According to the records I drank my way through 197 different wines in 2003, and attended no tastings so no inflated figures.

15 Best Wines of 2003

1) Chateau Musar 1991, Gaston Hochar, Lebanon
2) Chateau Musar 1994, Gaston Hochar, Lebanon
3) Julian Chivite Collecion 125 Reserva '95, Navarra, Spain
4) Clovelly Cabernet Sauvignon 2000, Stellenbosch, SA
5) Filsell Old Vine Shiraz 1999, Grant Burge, Barossa, Australia
6) Saltram No.1 Shiraz 1997, Barossa, Australia
7) Abadia Reserva 1994, Raimat, Costers Del Segre, Spain
8) Errazuriz Syrah Reserva 1999, Aconcagua, Chile
9) Coastal Cellar Pinotage 2000, Graham Beck, Coastal, SA
10) Smith & Hooper Cabernet Merlot 2001, Wrattonbully, Australia
11) Tre Uve Ultima 2001, Mondo Del Vino, Italy
12) Call Of The African Eagle Chardonnay 2001, Danie De Wet, Breede River, SA
13) The Farms Shiraz 1998, Yaldara, Barossa, Australia
14) The Seven Surveys 1999, Peter Lehmann, Barossa, Australia
15) Rioja Reserva 1997, Bodegas Luis Canas, Rioja, Spain

More wine anorak stuff to follow.