Thursday, October 30, 2003

A while ago I featured Sophie Ellis Bextor, not at all naked, holding up a skinned fox, so for a change of pace how about a gratuitous snap of Sophie Ellis Bextor with a ginger cat. Again, not safe for work.

All together now...........

"She's got ginger hair in her underwear,
How do I know ? 'Cos I've been there,
Hooray for Captain Ginger"
Sheila, writer of the Ms B Haven/What Did You See? is all smiles at the moment, the reason ? New boyfriend

(Not safe for work, home, nice places or Lancashire.

Wednesday, October 29, 2003

Tuesday, October 28, 2003



More from Penny Farthing, he she provides us with photographic evidence of possibly the most dangerous job in the world.
There are a lot of things on the internet that really should not be allowed, racist homepages, weird sex with mongolian slut girls, and mad bloke feeding bits of himself to his venus flytrap, this does not make for nice reading, and should not be read shortly after eating.

Monday, October 27, 2003

A new world record is set, at last nights Dungeons & Dragons session, in the whole of the evening we managed one round of combat, the rest of the time, as usual, was spent drinking good wine, eating, playing with the kids and mostly arguing over the rules.

New D&D Monster Ratings, sort of.

Sunday, October 26, 2003

Hurrah, at last we remembered that we're supposed to be halfway decent at cricket, but it took until the last day of the 1st test against 'lowly' Bangladesh to do it, anyway, well done boys, and it is nice to see the captain in some sort of form at last, let's have him back as #1 world bat to face Sri Lanka.
Have you ever wanted to run a marathon ? How about two ? How about 7 full marathons on seven diferent continents in 7 days, that's what Sir Ranulph Fiennes and Dr Mike Stroud are attempting this week.

British Heart Foundation/Landrover 7x7x7 Challenge.

Sir Ranulph suffered a major heart attack four months ago und underwent double bypass heart surgery. "After my heart attack I thought, is this it?" Sir Ranulph says. "Will I spend my life in a wheelchair? Tottering around my lounge, instead of running up mountain passes or navigating glaciers?"

Obviously not, Dr Stroud says that Fiennes' extraordinary fitness and stamina will see him through the event without placing excess stress on his heart. “My chest feels fine and I have the additional comfort of being able to blame it on Mike if anything goes wrong,” he said.

You can check up on their progress at The Times Online.



British hero bloke, Sir Ranulph Fiennes.
The Quiz - Week 8 of 10 Answers


1) Athenian philosopher, teacher of Plato, he asserted that a good person never knowingly does bad, he was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock, name him ?

Socrates

2) Who is this ? Plato



3) Which poitical party does Robert Mugabe lead ? ZANU PF

4) Who said....."The burden of being black is that you have to be superior to be equal, but the glory of it is that, once you achieve, you have achieved indeed" ?

Rev Jesse Jackson

5) Which Pope bribed his way into the position, became a great patron of Italian Art but at the same time worked to further the advancement of his illegitimate children and had at least one of his critics murdered, real name and papal name please ?

Rodrigo Borgia - Pope Alexander VI

6) Ooh, pretty, but where is this.........? This is pretty Durban in the sunshine.



7) What links Guangxi Zhuang, Ningxia Hui and Nei Mongol ? Autonomous regions of China.

8) "You'll never meet a nice South African,
and that's not bloody surprising man,
we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
who hate black people"

Name the satirical programme that dared to air this little ditty ? Spitting Image

9) Who said........."We must however acknowledge, that man with all his noble qualities, still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin" ?

Charles Darwin.

10) Who is the little chap with the sword ? Noggin The Nog.



Sad amount of entries again, Dr. P wins week 8 with 9 from a possible 11, Penny Farthing comes second, or last depending how you look at it, with 3.

League Table Week 8 (Name, Running Total)

1) Dr P 74
2) JR 27
3) P 19
4) Kennamatic 16
5) Sheila 14
5) Aftergrog 10
7) Andy W 5
8) Redmaiden 4
9) Penny Farthing 3

Saturday, October 25, 2003

What are Australians frightened of ? Well here's one thing...........




And here's another..............



Have you ever heard/read such a load of pathetic whinging as has appeared right across the Australian media over the past couple of weeks. Blokes that ordinarily you would have some respect for, like the Ozzy captain, have been peeking out from behind their mothers apron strings and saying........

"Mummy, mummy, the bad men are coming to get us, mummy, tell them to stop using an illegal rolling maul please mummy."

Sad, scared and moaning, it is not pretty.

How do know when a plane load of Australians has landed ?

The horrible whining continues after the engines have been switched off.

Friday, October 24, 2003

I'm No Slapper - says 7 times a night teenager

Paragon of virtue Shaneen Dawkins, 'star', ahem, of C4's Teen Big Brother, claims she has been betrayed by the programme and portrayed as a loose woman.

Shaneen, 18, admitted on the programme that she had, or had been had by, at least 16 lovers, 5 of whom were girls, and included a bisexual three way romp with her best friend and her boyfriend.

Speaking from her Keighley council house her mum said, "I had no idea". I think the important phrase here may be "Keighley council house", apparently on the estates of Keighley (once described by Bill Bryson as being ideal for a heavy artillery test range), you are not a slapper unless you have at least 40 'lovers' (or paying customers) and at least two offspring to unidentified fathers.

Take this weeks YSoul Pointless Poll and you can decide what constitutes a real Keighley slapper.

Thursday, October 23, 2003

Premier says that "We will continue to build the barrier" despite protests that the 10ft high wall is in breach of international law.

Although there have been many protests as the giant fence cuts a swathe through communities and farmland, the ultra orthodox ruling tyke party vowed to continue the construction.

"We must continue to protect our people against these acts of terrorism" Said self proclaimed Lord Of The Ridings, Yorkshiresoul. "For too long my people have suffered from Lancastrian terrorists armed with Eccles Cakes, and the scourge of the Bury Black Pudding Suicide Squad must be halted."

YS went on to say "We plan to dig a bloody big ditch behind the wall, say 20ft deep, and then see if the whole of Lancashire just drops into the sea."

Tuesday, October 21, 2003

So David Blaine's out of his box, riiiiight, twat. Whilst tens of thousands starve every day in the third world, Blaine has starved for..........millions of quid. Well fuck him, I've found another good charity or two to donate my excess cash to.

Farm Africa, they must be good, Michael Palin says so.

ITDG - Practical Answers To Poverty, I gave to their 'Smokehoods' appeal, and will donate more so that Mr. Ashanan can covert cow shit in to cooking gas.

I did try to set up a Yorkshiresoul stunt whereby a group of students (being students they have nothing better to do) would paint YORKSHIRESOUL on to their buttocks and then moon David Blaine. It didn't happen, being students they were

a) Still pissed and hungover and in bed
b) Couldn't spell, SHIRK YOUR OLO didn't have the same ring to it.

But........if anyone would like to paint their buttocks and moon somebody famous, or infamous, I'm not fussy, and then post me a piccy of the incident, I'll put it up on the site. Young ladies can just send me piccies for my 'private' collection, cheers.
Album Review, Kick Up The fire And Let The Flames Break Loose - The Cooper Temple Clause *



I gave it one star ? Must be getting soft in my old age. What the bloody hell is this ? Apart from the obvious answer which is a pile of crap.

TCTC's first album was pretty good, passion, energy, guitars, pretty good songs performed with verve and aggression. Kick Up on the other hand is awful, 10 bland tracks lacking everything that made their debut album worth buying.

Songwriting has gone out the window, I can't find a single decent riff, hook or rhythm on the whole damned thing, it all sounds so tired, so out of ideas.

Included with the album is a bonus DVD with all the videos from the first album, bad idea lads, when you have just released a dull and dreary album, don't go showing the fans how good you used to be.

Book review, Join Me - Danny Wallace *****



From the co-author of the hilarious 'Are You Dave Gorman' comes the true story of a man who starts a cult (or a collective) more or less by accident.

After the funeral of his Swiss grandfather, Danny is surprised to learn that the old man once tried to start a cult/commune on his farm. Inspired by this, Danny places adverts asking people to 'Join Me', no other info, and join him they do.

After a while his Joinees demand to know what it is they have joined, so Danny dreams up the idea of doing random acts of kindness, for old men, on Fridays. It goes further, he calls them the Karma Army, when he is supposed to be taking beautiful Norwegian girlfriend Hanne out to dinner he is actually appearing on a Belgian chat show.

He flies to Scotland to meet a Joinee vicar, goes to Paris and sits by the Eiffel Tower with a big sign saying 'Join Me French', I like this man, he is obviously mad in a harmless, creative way.

Hanne though is not so impressed, after avoiding her for weeks (there are Joinees to be met in Brussels and Cornwall after all), she comes round to his flat, finds the evidence of the Join Me collective, and promptly leaves him.

I won't give the ending away, but Join Me is choc full of the milk of human kindness (and pointlessness also, but lets stick with the kindness), people doing kind, and unexpected things, for other people, folk just requiring a little push to turn them into grown up boy scouts.

Join Me is a happy read, like early Pratchett novels it may have you laughing out loud on public transport, it's zany, heartwarming, and above all, true.

The Official Join Me website
Hoorah, Becs has sent a photo to show how well she is getting on at ther new job.

Pun of the week, from Popbitch.........

Sophie Ellis Bextor has been found dead in a French
international footballer's hotel room... Police are
treating it as "murder on Zidane's floor".
From this weeks Popbitch.........

">> Dio loses digit <<
Heavy metal elf suffers gardening grief

Ronnie James Dio severed his thumb earlier this
month in "a freak gardening accident". During
his time as vocalist with Rainbow and Black
Sabbath, Dio repeatedly invoked the forces
of darkness - so presumably the incident was
the work of Satan. Like in The Omen."
Ok, so this has been doing the rounds for quite a while, but I just thought it tied in nicely with yesterdays Roald Dahl poem. (Thanks to Cheryl)


"According to today's regulators and bureaucrats, those of us who were kids
in the 50's, 60's, and 70's probably shouldn't have survived......

Our baby cots were covered with brightly coloured lead-based paint which
was promptly chewed and licked.

We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, or latches on doors or
cabinets and it was fine to play with pans.

When we rode our bikes, we wore no helmets, just flip flops and fluorescent
'clackers' on our wheels.

As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts or air bags. Riding
in the passenger seat was a treat.

We drank water from the garden hose and not from a bottle - tasted the
same.


We ate dripping sandwiches, bread and butter pudding and drank fizzy pop
with sugar in it, but we were never overweight because we were always
outside playing.

We shared one drink with four friends, from one bottle or can and no one
actually died from this.

We would spend hours building go-carts out of scraps and then went top
speed down the hill, only to find out we forgot the brakes.

After running into stinging nettles a few times, we learned to solve the
problem.

We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were
back before it got dark. No one was able to reach us all day and no one minded.

We did not have Playstations or X-Boxes, no video games at all. No 99
channels on TV, no videotape movies, no surround sound, no mobile phones,
no personal computers, no Internet chat rooms. We had friends - we went
outside and found them.

We played elastics and street rounders, and sometimes that ball really
hurt.

We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and teeth, and there were no
lawsuits. They were accidents. We learnt not to do the same thing again.
(YS says - to be perfectly honest, we didn't do the same thing again, we did something else that was just as dangerous)

We had fights, punched each other hard and got black and blue - we learned
to get over it.

We walked to friend's homes.

We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate live stuff, and
although we were told it would happen, we did not have very many eyes out,
nor did the live stuff live inside us forever.

We rode bikes in packs of 7 and wore our coats by only the hood.

Our actions were our own. Consequences were expected.
The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law was unheard of. They
actually sided with the law. Imagine that!

This generation has produced some of the best risk-takers and problem
solvers and inventors, ever. The past 50 years have been an explosion of
innovation and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and
responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it all.

And you're one of them. Congratulations!
Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to grow up as real
kids, before lawyers and government regulated our lives, for our own good."

Monday, October 20, 2003

Roald Dahl - Television, from Charlie And The Chocolate Factory.

'The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set -
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotised by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink -
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exacts what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK - HE ONLY SEES!
"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,
"But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children! Please explain!"
We'll answer this by asking you,
"What used the darling ones to do?
How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?"
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY... USED... TO... READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and -
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How the Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole -
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The streams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks -
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start - oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean.
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did. "
Son Et Lumiere

Clipside of the pinkeye flight
I'm not the percent you think survives
I need sanctuary in the pages of this book
Gestating with all the other rats
Nurse said that my skin will need a graft
I am of pockmarked shapes
The vermin you need to loathe


I bought the Mars Volta cd, these are the lyrics to the first track, the whole album goes on in this vein, help, what's going on ?
The Quiz - Week 8 of 10

E-mail me with the answers before Saturday, yes I know Dr.P can't be beaten in this first series, but there's stil pride to play for!

1) Athenian philosopher, teacher of Plato, he asserted that a good person never knowingly does bad, he was sentenced to death by drinking hemlock, name him ?

2) Who is this ?



3) Which poitical party does Robert Mugabe lead ?

4) Who said....."The burden of being black is that you have to be superior to be equal, but the glory of it is that, once you achieve, you have achieved indeed" ?

5) Which Pope bribed his way into the position, became a great patron of Italian Art but at the same time worked to further the advancement of his illegitimate children and had at least one of his critics murdered, real name and papal name please ?

6) Ooh, pretty, but where is this.........?



7) What links Guangxi Zhuang, Ningxia Hui and Nei Mongol ?

8) "You'll never meet a nice South African,
and that's not bloody surprising man,
we're a bunch of arrogant bastards,
who hate black people"

Name the satirical programme that dared to air this little ditty ?

9) Who said........."We must however acknowledge, that man with all his noble qualities, still bears in his bodily frame the indelible stamp of his lowly origin" ?

10) Who is the little chap with the sword ?

Friday, October 17, 2003

Yorkshire Soul's Guide to Surnames.

Harris - from the Middle English 'Hayre Arse', obvious really.

Fitton - of mixed Irish/Pictich origin, Fittons were itinerant horse thieves, just below nightsoil men on the social scale.

Sedgewick - an obscure Lancastrian clan who made candles from their own pubic hair and body fat.

Redding - Saxon perverts, "Ye serfing boy haf spilt ye souppe, I haf gifen him a redding of the arse".

Dawes - a name change by deed poll in 1894 changed the 'H' to a 'D', sadly named after the profession rather than the pretty Yorkshire hill town.

Farthing - other famous prostitute families were named Schilling and Pounder, all based on what they could reasonably charge.

Winterburn - strange sect that believed in the ritual death on a bonfire of a young virgin to herald the end of winter, still practised in the Orkneys and Ravenscliffe.
Gosh, yesterday was my last visiting party of the season, the last time I have to get up early and run around making coffee and bacon butties by the dozen, the last time I'll make any money until next April, bugger.

Waiting on yesterday was the lovely Robin, she of the knickers fame, and they were on show yesterday, I can report sighting a black pair with little yellow dots, not that I was looking.

Today is Rebecca's last day at work, Rebecca 'works' in the office, as far as I can make out her job is to wrongly enter things in the bookings lists until nobody has a clue who is arriving or on what day. So, the male staff won't be dropping by the office anymore on the off chance of catching her bent over the photocopier, shame. John G points out though that it is still good to catch Carolyn on a cold morning wearing a tight jumper, I have no idea what he means.

So farewell co-worker and sometime Ysoul reader, do continue to post useless junk to me and you might see your name appear here at the Ysoul repository for rubbish, enjoy yourself at lunch today with Mrs YS, and don't think I'm the least bit bitter that you haven't invited me.
NEW!!

Get perfect abs in just six weeks with Muse's AB SOLUTION (tm)!!

(Music related pun supplied by Onion Bob)

Monday, October 13, 2003

"Bean Smellin'Woman"
By Fuzzy Tweedlow

"She smells good
Like a lima bean
Or maybe a pinto bean
Or a navy bean
Or a black-eye pea

(Is a pea a bean?
I don't know.
But if I
Call her a pea-smellin' woman
she'll cuss me out!)

She smells damn good. Like a bean."

I don't know folks, I just stumbled across this whilst trying to work out why people were reaching Yorkshire Soul by typing very nasty racist comments in to search engines, it turns out that my racist foods parody from last month has bitten me on the bum. On the other hand, I seem to have stumbled across a rich source of rubbish to publish while tracking this down, so waheys all round then.
Jar Jar Binks, is he not the most annoying tit of a character ever to inhabit the Star Wars universe ? Did you care when thousands of his annoying, gangly mates got zapped by the robot horde ? Actually, did you care at all who won a war between mobile tin cans and spastic, elastic aliens ? Why was this annoying prat given a semi-Jamaican accent ?
Why were the evil aliens so obviously Japanese ? You want to see/hear a good example of alien speech, watch Dune and the Navigator sequence.

Anyway, I'm starting to wander away from the point, which is this, 590 Ways Jar Jar Binks Should Die, slightly obsessive, yet fun.
Quiz Answers - week 7 of 10

Ok then, you'll have to chech last weeks archives if you want to see the piccies.

1) Who created the Dungeons and Dragons game ? Gary Gycax and Dave Arneson

2) Who is this ? This larger than life gent is the famous Peter Lehmann, maker of dmaned fine Barossa wines.

3) Very pretty indeed, but what city is this ? Marseilles.

4) Spooky looking goth bloke, who is he? Spooky Neil Gaiman.

5) Who writes the Lucifer comics ? Mike Carey

6) What type of tree has this leaf come from ? Sycamore (Maple)

7) The Spanish DO region of Costers Del Segre came into being because the largest wine producer in that area demanded to be allowed DO status for its wines, name the producer ? Raimat.

8) Who is this, and which teams shirt is he wearing ? Alan Smith wearing a Hapoel Tel Aviv shirt, he didn't actually swap shirts, just kicked lumps out of him until he handed his top over.

9) What is this ? The Washington Monument.

10) Another city looking pretty in the sunshine, where is it ? Oslo, Anja, where's your house ?

A sad amount of entries this week.

Dr.P 8 (from a possible 12)
Sheila 2

League Table Week 7 (Name, Running Total)

1) Dr P 65
2) JR 27
3) P 19
4) Kennamatic 16
5) Sheila 14
5) Aftergrog 10
7) Andy W 5
8) Redmaiden 4

Saturday, October 11, 2003

Couldn't blog yesterday, I was recovering from the awesome, the wonderful, the very bloody loud indeed, The Darkness. Great gig in Leeds, missed the first band, Three Inches Of Blood were a frankly bizarre choice as support but Justin and Co. were fantastic.

During a dinner last week we received a complaint from a senior gentleman that he could see the frilly knickers of one of the waitresses. Now, as far as I'm concerned, the chances of seeing the underwear of teenage girls get ever more remote as you get older, and the advent of low slung, hipster trousers with their high perv/pantie view possibility is an absolute godsend. What are you complaining about man ?

As I drove the waitresses home, this complaint led to a general knicker discussion. Four teenage girls discussing their favourite underthings does not make for easy driving, when I got back home I needed three cold showers and a cup of bromide.

Thursday, October 09, 2003

After complaints that Yorkshiresoul has become only "Mildly disturbing" I present for your pleasure, the enduring mystery of Britney Spears' Breasts, I think a wahey is in order.

Wednesday, October 08, 2003

Do you like cats ? Of course. And Anne Widdecombe ? Alright, so not so sure about that. How about a web page combining the two ? How strange is that ?

Later on her site, Ms Widdecombe goes on to show herself enjoying a curry with a group of Gurkhas, what the fighting boys didn't tell her is that they is that they Tikka'd her pussy. (Boom boom! I thank you)

The Neal Blog Rating System

A lot of bloggers want to know "Just how good is my blog?". Well today, I am proud to present the almost infallible 10 point Neal Blog Rating System, and it is so easy to use.

To find out just how good your blog is, check your comment boxes and see which of the famous Neils listed below have left comments, then check them against the Neil Rating List! Simple!

Which Neal Has Noticed Your Blog?

Neil Armstrong If the moon master himself has noticed your blog then congrats are in order, you are the top blogger, try to get him to say "This is just one small article for (insert blog name here) but one great leap for bloggerdom".

Neil Young Despite this Neil being as mad as a March hare, you've still done a damn good job if he's scribbled in your comments box, try getting him to explain just what the hell 'Greendale' is all about.

Neil Gaiman Well done indeed, you have attracted possibly the best of modern fantasy writers to your homepage, well done you.

Neal Asher With his ultra fun/ultra violent space operas, this Neal is set to be the new king of entertaining sf, just so you know how you are getting on, Yorkshiresoul ranks here.

Neil Stephenson A trilogy of writers named Neil, give yourself a pat on the back if the author of Snow Crash has dropped by.

Neil Kinnock Well done if this respected (?) politician and abject failure as a Labour leader has called by, knowing his nepotistic tendencies though, it probably means you're a distant Kinnock cousin. Remember him falling in the sea during a Labour conference ? Ah, happy days.


Neil Morrisey If the Men Behaving Badly star has seen fit to read you, then things arn't all bad, it means you are on the right track, but more work is needed.


Shaquille O'Neal Very famous, more money than God, thick as two short planks, when asked if he had visited the Parthenon when in Greece, he replied.
"I can't remember the names of all the nightclubs we went to."

Neal Ruddock Average footballer with a tendency to cripple people, oddly the cover of his autobiography showed him sticking fingers up both nostrils, strange, if Razor comments on your site, you have little to be proud about.

Neil Hamilton Sorry, but if media whore Hamilton has noticed your scribbling then it is nothing to write home about, or even to write your blog about, oddly if you re-arrange the letters of this Neils name, you can make the phrase "Am I not in hell?"
"Current breast size 38 DD
Desired Breast Size 38 FFF

I know that they are large already, but I would like them to be fuller, and shaped differently, breast reduction is more costly , so If I have to deal with back pain anyway, they might as well be so large they create eclipse like shadows on the streets of NYC. Providing well deserved shade for the pedestrians of this great town. "

Yes it's more mammary fun from
Invest In My Chest.

Monday, October 06, 2003

The Quiz - Week 7 of 10

To enter, e-mail me with your answers on or before Friday, I will post the answers and table on Saturday this week.

1) Who created the Dungeons and Dragons game ?

2)

Who is this ?

3)

Very pretty indeed, but what city is this ?

4)

Spooky looking goth bloke, who is he?

5) Who writes the Lucifer comics ?

6)

What type of tree has this leaf come from ?

7) The Spanish DO region of Costers Del Segre came into being because the largest wine producer in that area demanded to be allowed DO status for its wines, name the producer ?

8)

Who is this, and which teams shirt is he wearing ?

9)

What is this ?

10)

Another city looking pretty in the sunshine, where is it ?

Saturday, October 04, 2003



Oh my God, what do you feed it ? Your children ? Husband ?
Wow, just short of 300 readers yesterday as folk came searching for the names of the footballers involved in the hotel rape fiasco, I have heard two names, but on thinking about this a little, these guys may be involved in a court case, and are innocent until proven guilty, and should not be named.

It may be interesting this weekend to see how the opposing fans behave when one of the named players is in the team opposite, I think the BBC has already said they will try to adjust mics that pick up crowd noise so they do not inadvertently broadcast the players names.
Quiz Answers - Week 6 of 10

1) Our bassist went mad, played one note for an entire gig and took his own bodyweight in LSD, so we got another one. We managed to fall out with our songwriting guitarist and went on tour without him, he claimed he was the only person with the legal right to play his songs, as a consequence we had more lawyers than roadies as we toured the USA, who are we?

Pink Floyd.

2) Name two Iron Maiden singers. Not including Bruce ?

Paul Dianno, Blaze Bayley

3) Bruce Dickinson gave up the chance to compete in the Olympics to sing with Maiden, at what sport ?

Fencing

4) Our singer managed to crash his car whilst pissed and killed a member of another band, we took lots of drugs and then some, while on tour with Guns 'n Roses a backstage tiff led to an exchange of live ammunition, who are we ?

Motley Crue, astoundingly, Vince Neil escaped getting a jail sentence when he killed Razzle of Hanoi Rocks.

5) What was the name of the spoof heavy metal band formed by Adrian Edmundson and Rik Mayall ?

Bad News

6) What nationality are 'The Mad Capsule Markets' ?

Japanese

7) We only sing in our own language, despite this we have become pretty popular across Europe, our singer has a penchant for setting himself on fire on stage, who are we ?

Rammstein

8) We didn't give interviews, we didn't release singles, we did insert fish in our groupies and become the biggest band on the planet, who are we ?

Led Zeppelin

9) Ronnie James Dio gave up singing in Black Sabbath because of a milk crate ? Explain ?

Dio is a shortarse, and a shortarse with a huge ego, it wasn't long before he fell out with all of Black Sabbath and their roadcrew, so every night the roadies would set the microphone to 7 feet high, then put a milk crate behind it for RJD to climb onto, this led to bad feeling and he left the band.

10) When challenged to do something extreme, what exactly did Ozzy snort a line of ?

Ants, no really!

This weeks entrants scored as follows.........(from a possible 11)

P 10
Sheila 10 (although she didn't really know the answers, lol)
Dr P 9
Redmaiden 2

League Table Week 6 (Name, Running Total)

1) Dr P 57
2) JR 27
3) P 19
4) Kennamatic 16
5) Sheila 12
5) Aftergrog 10
7) Andy W 5
8) Redmaiden 4

Well done folks, there should be another quiz on Monday, can anyone beat Dr.P in this first series of 10 ?

Friday, October 03, 2003

Thursday, October 02, 2003

Everyone likes bubblewrap, you can pop it, it's fun and harms nobody, go here and pop it to the sounds of sirens, flushing toilets and bodily functions, strange.
Now I'm and old fashioned chap in some ways, and in this modern age there are some older customs and habits that I think we should hang on to. Men opening doors for ladies, offering to take their coats and ordering the wine at dinner, all fine by me.

Another older custom that I'm going to bring back is the ancient rite of jus primae noctis (law of the first night), also known as droit du seigneur (the lord's right). As I am already the self proclaimed Soul of Yorkshire I can't see that there is any problem with me assuming the overall Lordship of the county.

Droit de seigneur works like this, when you want to get married you have to ask Yorkshiresoul's permission, if granted you can get a priest to marry, sing and dance and drink all night, then, before retiring to bed, you deliver the virgin bride to Ysoul's chambers when I give her a good rogering, a road test if you like.

In the morning the bride will be returned ready for the rigours of married life, although she may just let out a small, disappointed sigh the first time she sees her husband naked.

Although this kindly offer applies across most of the county, smack addled crackheads from Hallam and Ravenscliffe need not apply, Ysoul will assume that most of the estate has been through you already and making it jus primae noctis (law of the 892'nd night) would be stretching a point just too far.
Quiz

Come on, get your answers e-mailed in to me, Redmaiden leads the week, Sheila has been caught cheating and will get spanked, lol.

Wednesday, October 01, 2003

Tatu get it on

Well, here's a thing, I haven't featured any Tatu naked, Tatu porn or Tatu french kissing for ages, then I found this rather odd comic in my files, enjoy.
Ok, despite the hits I'm getting for 'Premiership players rape allegations', I don't know who did it, scurrilous rumour, and I do say rumour, on the LUFC NG points the finger at (oops) and names a Mr(Ooops!), lucky we didn't buy him then. (Following legal advice, I would like to point out that I have no idea whatsoever about the identity of the alledged Premiership rapists).

Try newsgroups, it's harder to get them shut down.